We often hear people comforting a grieving friend or loved one at a wake or funeral say, “He (or she) is in heaven with Jesus now.” While this is a comforting thought, I wonder how often this is really the case.
The recent death of a cousin I was close to while growing up got me thinking about the four last things: death, judgement, heaven and hell.
It would be a big consolation to know that my cousin is in heaven. I tend to think, however, that she fell somewhat short of sainthood, much like most people who leave this world for the next.
Now, the old adage, or perhaps it’s a taboo, comes into play here: ‘Do not speak ill of the dead.’ It is not my intent here to speak ill of anyone who has passed away.
My cousin was a good person, but I can’t say she was a saint. Her good qualities certainly exceeded her not so good qualities. Unfortunately, and this is kind of a biggie, she was also a lapsed Catholic who hadn’t been to Mass in decades.
I don’t know if her conscience was bothered by this or if she perhaps allowed herself to be convinced that going to Mass was just not necessary. Sadly, there are many lapsed Catholics today much like my cousin. Instead of continuing to grow in holiness they hit a plateau and maybe convince themselves that where they are spiritually is good enough.
Keep Holy the Lord’s Day
One common reason (or more appropriately maybe, excuse) I’ve heard from lapsed Catholics who no longer go to Mass on Sunday is that going to Mass on Sunday is a man-made law, it’s not God’s law. God said to keep His day holy; it’s the Church that says we do that by going to Mass.
I’ve even heard scripture quoted in defense of not going to Mass. In Mark 2:27 Jesus says “The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath.” So, if the sabbath was made for man, it should be up to man to decide how to keep holy the sabbath. And this statement inevitably ends with “I don’t have to go Mass to keep holy His day.”
This way of thinking ignores, however, something else our Lord said. In Matthew 16:18-19 He gave Peter and His Church the keys to the kingdom of heaven. “Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” And since the Church says we keep holy the Lord’s Day by going to Mass, heaven certainly must recognize disobedience to this precept as a sin.
But there is another aspect of the sabbath being made for man that the ‘I don’t have to go to Mass’ thinking overlooks. We need the Mass to refresh our souls and to help us to remember to keep God first in everything we do throughout the coming week. It is at Mass that we enter into full communion with Jesus by receiving Him into our own bodies. How great is that!
Of course, Jesus probably knew this since He is omniscient. And He most certainly knew His Church would institute Mass attendance on Sunday as a precept.
God is Our Judge
For the most part, just about all the lapsed Catholics I know are pretty ordinary people, who live fairly ordinary lives. I don’t think any of them could be considered “bad” people, but I also can’t say any of them are saints. My cousin was certainly not a bad person. But while she did believe in God and that Jesus died for us, her life was not God centered.
When our lives are not God centered it’s difficult, if not impossible, to continue to grow in holiness. If we are not growing, we are stagnating. We become only ‘not bad.’ This is a far cry from being holy.
Of course, only God knows what is in our hearts, and His judgement on us when we die (our particular judgement) will be perfect. And it’s possible that we actually judge ourselves, as Bishop Fulton Sheen suggests (as Richard Auciello notes in the opening paragraph of his recent CS article “Who Goes To Heaven?”).
Still, I wonder how all the ‘not bad’ people – like my cousin and many others – who do not go to Mass on Sunday – will be judged. Are they in hell because they chose not to go to Mass on Sunday?
12 Years of Sacrifice
I wrote a little bit about my cousin and her husband a few years ago in an article entitled “The Solution To All Your Problems.” They had a son who was born with severe birth defects. He was not able to walk, move his arms, or even hold his head up. He was also deaf, dumb, and blind.
The doctors said their son should be institutionalized and that he probably would not live past two or three years old. My cousin and her husband chose instead to take him home and care for him. Under their gentle and loving care, their son lived to be 12 years old.
The 12 years of their little boy’s life were sacrificial years for my cousin and her husband. Their lives revolved around caring for their son. Going out to eat, to the movies, vacationing, and a lot of other normal activities were pretty much out of the question. During those 12 years they pretty much stayed home and took care of their son.
One would think they earned a lot of graces during those 12 years. But God was not really part of their lives during those years or even throughout their marriage. And I know that my cousin did not receive the last rites before she passed away. So, I am left to wonder, where is my cousin’s soul now?
Purgatory Maybe?
According to Catholic teaching, if my cousin died unrepentant, with unconfessed mortal sins on her soul, she is in hell. So, I pray that even though she did not receive the Last Rites, that she was sorry for her sins. Maybe she was somehow able to ask God for forgiveness and mercy before she died. If so, her soul just might be in purgatory.
My cousin certainly cared for her son in a saintly way, but I don’t think she was justified when she died. Her life was not lived in a right relationship with God. And I think this is probably true of many who have died and who will die as well.
Many people today seem to think just being a nice person and loving your neighbor will get you into heaven when you die. They forget the first and greatest commandment. But Jesus tells us that the gate to eternal life is narrow and those who find it are few (Matthew 7:14). Those are sobering words and they come to us directly from God Himself.
Today, however, far too many people seem to tend toward an Inclusivist view of salvation – that most people end up in Heaven – or even a Universalist view – the thinking that everyone will be saved.
So where do all those people who believe in God, and who keep most of the commandments, end up when they die? Does a person who believes in God and that Jesus died for us, but who does not go to Mass on Sunday, go hell? Many Protestants seem to think so.
Conscience
Some 60 years ago, the answer to these questions would have been ‘definitely hell.’ Today, however, some think this may not be the case. With the development of Catholic teaching from Vatican II on “The Judgment of Conscience,” there are many who think that not bad people may not be in hell, providing they lived according to the dictates of their consciences.
So, what of a conscience that says going to Mass on Sunday is not necessary to keep the Lord’s Day holy?
Pope Paul VI wrote in Gaudium et Spes (16), “In the depths of his conscience, man detects a law which he does not impose upon himself, but which holds him to obedience. Always summoning him to love good and avoid evil, the voice of conscience when necessary speaks to his heart: do this, shun that. For man has in his heart a law written by God; to obey it is the very dignity of man; according to it he will be judged.”
And even the Catechism of the Catholic Church says (quoting Dignitatis Humanae), “1782 Man has the right to act in conscience and in freedom so as personally to make moral decisions.”
So, what if someone thinks going to Mass is not necessary to keep the Lord’s Day holy? Is that individual committing a mortal sin – grave matter, committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent? Or is the sin lessoned because the person’s conscience says it’s not that big a deal?
A Well-formed Conscience is Needed
On the surface it sounds like an individual’s conscience trumps Catholic teaching. But that would be an incorrect interpretation. As the Catechism goes on to say:
“1783 Conscience must be informed and moral judgment enlightened. A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful. It formulates its judgments according to reason, in conformity with the true good willed by the wisdom of the Creator. The education of conscience is indispensable for human beings who are subjected to negative influences and tempted by sin to prefer their own judgment and to reject authoritative teachings.” [Emphasis added.]
“1784 The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and faults. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart.”
In other words, if our intellects and wills are not properly developed, our incorrect thoughts and passions will rule our consciences. Or, to say it yet another way, because concupiscence is a burden we all carry it’s easy to fall prey to the wickedness and snares of the devil while thinking we are listening to the Holy Spirit. When we allow the devil’s lies to enter our thoughts and form our consciences, we risk putting ourselves on the wide road to perdition instead of the narrow path to salvation.
The question is, then, does God factor a poorly formed conscience into His judgement of us? Does He take our concupiscence into consideration when He judges us? I certainly hope so.
The Golden Prison
Many people these days think that when we die we will go to either heaven or hell, with a large majority of souls proceeding directly to heaven. I’m not sure why this is, but one reason could be because Catholic dogma on purgatory is missing from some/many Faith Formation programs in use in parishes today.
Why Catholic teaching on purgatory is not taught much today is a mystery. It’s also a bit sad because Catholic teaching on Purgatory is a de fide truth, which means it is “infallible dogma” or “definitive dogma.” The magisterium has affirmed de fide truths as divinely revealed by God. Denying or doubting such truths is either material heresy or formal heresy.
As I stated in an article “A Reasonable Argument for the Existence of Purgatory”, “Catholic doctrine does not offer a lot of detail on purgatory other than teaching that purgatory does exist.” And we know the souls in purgatory do suffer.
Over and above this, however, purgatory, as Hunter Leonard wrote recently in an article entitled “Purgatory – The Golden Prison” is “a blessed extension of the mercy and love of God, it is the application of Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross on the soul after death. Purgatory is the fiery embrace of the Lord in which all that is not of him is burned away so that we might fully and totally embrace him in perfect love for all eternity.”
Hope
I hope that God, in His perfect mercy and justice, consigns all those ‘not bad’ people who die, who believe in Him and believe that Jesus died to save us – and who’s only sin may be that they have not been to Mass in many years – to purgatory instead of to hell. It’s not as consoling as thinking they are in heaven with Jesus, but it’s certainly more consoling than thinking they are in that other place.
At the same time, I’ll continue to pray for all the lapsed Catholics in the world. I can’t know how they will be judged, but I do know God’s judgement on them will be perfect.
12 thoughts on “Some Thoughts on Where ‘Not Bad’ People Might End Up”
If anyone has read St Faustina’s diary 1486 entry, you will know Jesus told her that HE asks the SOUL three last times IF they want HIS mercy. GOD gives us every possible chance to choose HIM but many, sadly, refuse the offer not only based on how they lived BUT after death too. Jesus didn’t call us to be ‘good people’….any Atheist can be a good person but still deny GOD.
Think about this: Jeffery Dahmer killed and ate 17 young men (horrific), was sentenced, was beaten to death in prison only 2 years into it BUT had confessed his sins, was baptized and had a radical conversion several months prior. Assuming he didn’t sin the final 3 months in prison in any way—my friends—he’s likely in Heaven. BUT contrast that with someone like Jerry Falwell who led millions away from the Catholic church and died—he might be in HELL for his actions.
By all human accounts one man was evil and the other good—BUT that is NOT Divine Justice and people in this life have forgotten this fact. GOD won’t compare us to what others did and we are judged on our own, totally alone. So if people think GOD will be saying “well, john smith didn’t do what Hitler did and only skipped Mass his entire life and never prayed to me, never thanked me, never adored me but was nice to other people…it’s OK, come right into Heaven”….don’t think so…
As Divine Mercy clearly says–The greater the sinner, the greater the right that sinner has to My mercy. BUT you have to ask for forgiveness and constantly seek first the Kingdom of GOD here and now!!!
What worries me, and what I think about often, is in spite of the consoling words of Jesus to St. Faustina, is thinking that in the end Jesus will give us a pass regardless of whether we lived according to holy Scripture and the teaching of the Catholic Church. I love the Diary of St. Faustina and I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet often, but I do worry for myself and others about the sin of presumption. There is no denying what Jesus said in the Gospels and what the Epistles of Peter, Paul, John and the other Apostles teach us. And, yes, I think the government will soon come after us “rigid” Catholics who believe in the Bible and the teachings of the Catholic Church. I pray that I will be faithful to our Lord and His Church.
In responding to your question, Gene: “In what way do you think I was not showing a serious or respectful attitude?”…
I suppose that “flippant” was a strong word, but it is the word that came to mind as I was reflecting on the “enormity” of the cross that was described and the minimal consideration given.
After a car wreck suddenly took the lives of the mother of my four teen aged children and the overwhelm that followed, a priest once told me that God DOES gives us more than we can handle at times! He then went on to say that while such occurrences often happen, He places before us people, places, books, therapy, etc at the very same time. He expects us to do “our” part in working through and carrying our crosses. That is why I spoke about “The Value of Ignorance”…
My ignorance was removed by the statement that was made to me by that caring priest during a time period that was clearly the darkest of my life. I sought therapy, read books, attended church, received the sacraments, listened to people, etc.
The question that came to my mind was whether or not your cousin and her husband had had such an opportunity to have their ignorance “lifted” in as much as the traumatic circumstances with which they were dealing far surpassed that of my own.
While we are responsible for what we know, there is a “huge” difference between what we know in our minds and what we know in our hearts. A psychologist asked me if I knew the difference between shock and trauma…and proceeded to explain that while the first is short term, the latter may not reside in this lifetime.
I apologize for my use of that term, which I did make clear that I did not think it intentional but it perhaps was a bit strong! God bless!
It was a great article and took a lot of courage to write. so Thank you for writing it!
I wish that I could say I write with anything short of massive pessimism, but on the question of where “not bad” people end up going, I keep coming back to an ominous line of Christ’s: “Do not even the tax collectors do the same? … Do not even the pagans do the same?” (Matt 5:46-47)
The factual reality of being or not being in a state of grace–how bottom-line essential it is for one’s salvation–how, when not in a state of grace, everything we do, however good it might seem to be, is worthless, for “Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5)–is something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the Church today.
And the consequences–particularly for lapsed Catholics, who have no realistic claim to ignorance–are catastrophic.
See my reply to Fr Eric regarding Jesus’ words to Sr. Faustina.
Interesting article and one which arises in many pastoral situations. The comment that your cousin raised a severely handicapped child–totally incapacitated–does, indeed, boggle the mind as “John” said. It is perplexing that they did not attend Mass. Did they rely on their own strength the whole time? When the boy died, what was their frame of mind?
“Not bad people” are everywhere. They are so nice. Essentially, the issue is pride. We sing songs about ourselves singing songs to a god we create in our minds who is not concerned about our everyday decisions. “I just gotta take care of myself.”
The persecution is coming, and real soon we must make a decision for Christ. Then, the god of America–comfort–will take control. Just as it did during the “covid times” back in ’20-’21.
Jesus did not call us to live in isolation. Even hermits go to Mass. Jesus broke the bread with his friends and at the resurrection and showed the wounds to those who had panicked. We are called to live in community. So many of the nice “not bad” people will look the other way when there is a need to defend the truth, life from God, relationship with Christ. When those who control the government come after those who believe in God as the author of creation, the nice “not bad” people will look away with a pinch of pain as their neighbors suffer for not “getting along.”
To answer your questions, my cousin and her husband relied mainly on one another and on family as their source of strength, and they grieved when their son died. They also took solace in knowing their sinless, innocent son (who was Baptized into the Catholic Faith) was in heaven. So, what kept them from being devout, practicing, Catholics? I would answer “Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.”
But there is a distinct difference between being nice and being good. In my many years on this earth, I’ve come across a lot of “nice” people who were actually not very good people at all. There’s also a big difference between being a moral ‘not bad person’ and being a saint. Still, there is reason to hope that even grievous sinners may be saved. As Jesus told Sr. Faustina (#1146):
“I delight in the souls that invoke My mercy. On such souls I bestow more graces than they ask for. If anyone appeals to My mercy I cannot punish him, were he even the greatest of sinners; but in My infinite and unfathomed mercy I shall justify him.”
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This is certainly a thought provoking article, as I identified with much of the topic that was written about as fodder in my own wondering over the years…as a cradle Catholic…
On the ideology that the “deceased is with Jesus now”, I gradually went from agreeing with the sentiment expressed to me thinking that in so doing I was making someone feel better, to gradually over time saying “let’s hope so” now.
Hope is a wonderful gift that is attainable for the sincere asking. It allows the bearer and the giver to ascertain that there is so much more to this life than what meets the eye. It allows one to enter a whole other realm of certainty. It is like “knowing without really knowing” – because God is Good – and His Goodness will prevail…
I think it is an error to give anyone absolute assurance that a loved one is with Jesus. How can we say such a thing with certainty? So many people don’t want to even think about, much less talk about their past. Are they supposing that it will be easier to see it all when they die? Why would it be any easier?
Bishop Sheen speaks about “The Value of Ignorance” in his writings profoundly. He explains that Jesus asked the Father to take ignorance into consideration when He said: “Father, forgive them, for they KNOW NOT what they do”…
Ignorance has a very broad scope of meaning. Ignorance is the human condition (thankfully). When you spoke about your cousin, I’m thinking that you were a bit “flippant” (not intentional of course) about the tragic circumstances of their son. The fact that they refused to institutionalize him and care for the child for the next twelve years is incredible. The depth of the effects of such a cross boggles the mind. God alone knows their hearts. He alone will consider the extent of their ignorance. Such a traumatic circumstance can certainly render one insane!
On the other hand, perhaps they should have listened to the physician who advised that the child be institutionalized, considering the extent of the weight upon their shoulders? Again, God will decide!
As to the existence of purgatory? You bet I believe. I, personally, would rather have three choices than two (heaven or hell). It would be really scary for me to assume the afterlife for myself, which is why I live my life making my peace with God!
Thanks for your comments but I must say I was surprised by your use of the word “flippant” to describe my recounting of the facts surrounding my cousin’s son’s “tragic circumstance.” In what way do you think I was not showing a serious or respectful attitude?
Where would you consign her soul, which I hope is resting in peace.
Answering your question calls for me to judge my cousin. That’s God’s job, not mine.