The pregnancy center on Long Island where I help out has seen and heard every imaginable situation, and we know not to make any assumptions about the people who walk through our doors.
More than once I’ve guessed wrong. I thought a slightly older-looking guy with a pregnant girl was her boyfriend when he was actually her father. I’ve wrongly assumed a tough-looking pregnant girl was seeking an abortion when she was beautifully pro-life, and that a rough-looking young guy with piercings and tattoos was pressuring his girlfriend to abort when it turned out that he wanted the baby and she didn’t. Once or twice I’ve had a mother and daughter come in and assumed the mother wanted to help her daughter keep her child, only to discover the mother wanted her own daughter to abort.
An Anxious, Pregnant Teen
So when Dana (not her real name), age 15, walked in last week with an older woman who I thought could be her mom, I wasn’t surprised to learn she’s actually her aunt. Dana was pregnant and looked anxious and overwhelmed. She said she wanted to ask about abortion. I assumed the aunt was supporting an abortion but in asking questions it was obvious Dana didn’t really want an abortion; she just felt she had no choice other than to abort. She described a chaotic home life…. her parents were divorced and fighting, one was an alcoholic, and the other worked two jobs and was never around. Dana had been bounced back and forth between the two parents and had been having a boy over when no one was home.
That boy disappeared the moment Dana said she was pregnant. He told her to have an abortion “like everyone else.” She felt she couldn’t tell her mother about the pregnancy and figured her father would be furious. She felt trapped and made an abortion appointment at Planned Parenthood.
Her Aunt’s Abortion
She was sitting in the abortion center’s parking lot just an hour ago, praying and crying. That’s when she thought of calling her aunt Anne. She could barely get the words out, expecting a barrage of criticisms. Instead, Anne kept saying, “It’s ok, it’s ok.” and “Just do not go in that place.” And then she shared with her niece that she too had become pregnant as a teenager, at 16. She told her she was coming to get her, and that’s when they came into our center.
On their way in, Dana’s aunt told her she’d aborted that baby 35 years ago, and she’d been suffering because of it ever since. Now she was describing the years since then, the pain and regret and missing her child. She said she remembers the anniversary every year, thinks of that baby every time she sees a pregnant woman or another baby and would do anything to keep Dana from going through the same torture. She agonizes over a missing sibling for her kids. She said it was the worst decision of her life, and compounding the pain was realizing that the abortion providers purposely omitted any info that would’ve caused her to reconsider.
A Beautiful Witness
No mention of adoption, or of all the help pregnancy centers offer. And they refused to let her see her own ultrasound. She’d gone through our Rachel’s Vineyard post-abortion healing retreat which did help her realize that God surely forgave her.
Anne had tears in her eyes as she told me she’d brought Dana in to help convince her not to abort her baby. Once again I’d assumed wrong! I was happy to show her our fetal models, and explain the sanctity of human life from the very first moment, and share all the ramifications of abortion on the mother. However, what I said paled in comparison to the raw grief Dana’s aunt was sharing, pleading that Dana wouldn’t make the same tragic, life-altering mistake.
Hope
It was among the most beautiful witnesses I’ve ever heard. This woman so wanted to help this baby live, and was directing her pain towards helping her niece. We scheduled an ultrasound and Dana chose some maternity clothes to take home. She said she just needed one person to give her hope. Who better to persuade a young woman against ending the life of her own child than a devastated mother who wishes she never had.
2 thoughts on “How An Aborted Baby Helped Save Another Baby’s Life”
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This is a wonderful story. I’d so love to know what happened to Dana and her baby.
Thanks for sharing.