Your Interior Life Hates Facebook -Part II

In Part I of this series we looked at ways social media is harmful to our brain, particularly in regards to reward mechanisms (such as dopamine), addiction (“I can’t go five minutes without a fix…”), and conditioning (any instance of downtime is an opportunity to check for something new on our devices).

Guiding Principles

In this second part, we look at some other ills of social media, particularly its negative impact on the broader cultural landscape.  And we will look at some of the common justifications for social media and finally we’ll discuss some good practices for anyone who engages with social media.

This two-part series is written with a certain style and tone that could best be described as “presumptive guilt”.  There’s a good reason for it – social media entangles itself exactly where we are called to sanctify ourselves and the world – in our relationships with others.  That’s why it should be viewed with skepticism and tested against a very high standard.

Our high standard employs two guiding principles; relationship and goodness.

Regarding relationship – we are created for it.  Our Triune God is the perfect realization of relationship and so we are called to relationship – a relationship with God (the first great commandment) and a relationship with neighbors (second great commandment).  A relationship is also the defining characteristic of our vocation.  This divine calling necessitates that we give the very best of ourselves to our relationships.

Regarding goodness – we ended Part I with St. Paul’s guidance to the Philippians, “whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure…”.   That scripture passage provides our second yardstick.  Since social media inserts itself into our all-important human relationships, it had better be worthy of St. Paul’s vision of goodness.

How Social Media Damages Individuals and Society

Social media is fracturing and polarizing by its nature.  Participants are split between likes and dislikes – it’s built into the system.  There’s precious little nuance and opportunity for authentic discourse.  What little communication takes place is typically restricted to short bursts a-la Twitter (as it turns out aggressive speech is also typically short).

Social media encourages “relative positioning” and the envy, vanity, and self-image issues that come with it.  As such, it naturally encourages compulsion and negative emotion (“I’m not measuring up to so-and-so…”).

Looking at broad sociological concerns, the 2020 election has made it abundantly clear that Big Tech is actively working to manipulate the culture through censorship and control of news and information.  Big Tech will continue to manipulate your preferences and opinions by targeting you with your own data, fed into artificial intelligence algorithms.  We should do as much as possible to thwart the social engineering efforts of Big Tech.

Social media also devolves our cultural expectations to the lowest common denominator.  Take Tik Tok, for example.  Their corporate mission is to make the world a sleazier place.  OK, maybe they don’t have that in writing, but it is the undeniable telos of Tik Tok.  If you are unlucky enough to view a random feed from that digital sewer, you will find all manner of language, poses, affectations, and dress (mostly lack thereof) that is unbecoming of any human being.

Common Justifications for Social Media (“maybe I just like maggots”)

Many people of goodwill use social media and do so out of good intentions.  But given our divine standard, and the many manifest evils of social media, even the best intentions should be carefully weighed against the consequences.

1. Social media is a simple diversion. What’s the big deal?

“It’s how I relax.”   “It’s fun to check in with people.”  “Some people like to watch a movie.  I like social media.”  For all the reasons we’ve been discussing in this series, social media isn’t like any other form of entertainment.  If I watch a movie, for example, I’m not deluding myself that I’m in a relationship with the people in the movie.  Nor am I watching them voyeuristically.  The bottom line, social media is too destructive to be toyed with as a form of light-hearted entertainment.

2. Social media is how we connect with people.

Using the internet to maintain close relationships can be necessary these days, particularly when distance prohibits in-person visits.  That said, the value of dedicated phone calls, video chats, and hand-written letters shouldn’t be underestimated, particularly if the social media engagement is mostly a matter of posting images and responding with “likes” and emojis.

However, what about all those other relationships?   Does anyone really need to find that random long-lost friend from high school?

Most relationships are meant to run their course and then take their place in the history-of-us.  To everything, there is a season, including friendships.  God places people in our lives at the right time and He just as deftly orchestrates their exit from our life.

We can only maintain just so many relationships in our life.  Jesus, as always, provides the perfect model of human behavior.  In His divinity, Jesus is infinite, enteral, unbounded – He is intimately close to every single human being but not so in His humanity.  Jesus had tiers of relationships.  He had many acquaintances, friends, and extended family but he only had a few close friends; Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in particular.  In addition, He had a group of devoted followers – His disciples.  But among them, He had an inner group – the twelve apostles.  Among the apostles, He had a yet closer group – James, John, Peter, and perhaps Andrew.   Even among them, He had a certain filial bond with John (His beloved disciple) and a different sort of bond with Peter as His successor.

Christ, because of human limitations, had to prioritize his relationships and could only maintain a few close ones.  Social media gives us the illusion that we can have meaningful relationships with dozens, hundreds, and even thousands of people.

Each minute spent with a casual acquaintance on Facebook is time taken from God and the human relationships that He ordains for us.

3. We use social media to build up our spiritual life.

There are many good sites, apps, apostolates, individuals, and communities.  The question is this – are you able to engage those without getting drawn into all the other evil that comes with it.  Let’s say you like to read someone’s daily devotional on Instagram.  The question is, what else slithers into your psyche while you’re there?  Are you exposing yourself to the natural addictiveness of social media and mobile devices and tacitly supporting a platform that is, on balance, an evil influence on society.   Would you be better off simply picking up your bible or other good spiritual reading?

4. If faithful Christians leave social media who will be there to redeem it?

Yes, we should evangelize through technology.  That is certainly part of St. John Paul II’s new evangelization.  Blessed James Alberione is a powerful model for this as well but it is worth saying out loud that much of social media is beyond redemption.  Abraham pleaded with God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if there were even 10 worthy people left in the city.  Apparently, there were not.  In a similar way, we should allow for the possibility that certain social media platforms are, again, beyond redemption and not throw pearls after swine.

Rules of Engagement

1. Guided by God

Allow God to guide your actions regarding social media (as with all things).  Ask Him, as part of your time in daily meditation, if He’s calling you to connect with Him and others through social media.

2. In His presence (and hers…)

Call to mind that God is always present with us, and invite our Blessed Mother as well.  Share your time on social media with them.  Ask them what they think of the images and messages.  Ask them to help you see social media as they do.

3. Social media fast

Quit social media for a month (or more).  A day or a week probably won’t due.  Your fast needs to be long enough to put a serious dent in the patterns of addiction and conditioning.

Again, do this in the company of God.  Talk to Him about this in your meditation.  And keep track of the changes in your life.

4. Track it

If you are engaging in social media – track it.  How much time on which platforms?  What do you do when you’re there?  How often does a focused activity (I want to send so-and-so a message) lead to a bunch of clicks and 20 minutes lost?  And, most importantly – how is social media impacting your relationship with God (particularly in meditation) and others?  Overall, is social media providing good spiritual content that improves your meditation or low-quality pablum that adds to distraction.

5. If you do need to use social media to connect and evangelize…

Recognize you are going into enemy territory.   Have strict rules of engagement and discipline yourself to follow them religiously.  Decide in advance what sites you’re going to, why you’re going, and what you’ll do there.   Limit the amount of time you spend there.

Here’s a big one – have a fixed ratio of time on social media to time in mental prayer.  I recommend one-to-one.  If you meditate 15 minutes per day then spend no more than 15 minutes in social media.  I’m serious.  I would not go higher than a ratio of 2:1 (30 minutes of social to 15 minutes of meditation).

You must fortify yourself if engaging in social media.  It’s not a question of whether or not social media is spiritually damaging – it is.  It’s just a matter of limiting and repairing the damage.

With that, also stay close to the Lord in His Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, and have sacramental with you (crucifix, rosary, holy water) whenever you’re on social media.

6. Evangelize social media by leaving it

When someone asks you to friend them on Facebook you can explain to them why you no longer log in and ask them if you can get together over a cup of coffee instead (or, if they are far away, visit with a video chat so that you can have a real conversation).

7. Seek alternatives

The is in response to the growing evil of the major Big Tech players trying to use the internet to form (better yet, deform) culture.  Seek out better alternatives like Periscope, Parler, Bitchute, MeWe and even DuckDuckGo (as a search engine) so that we are not tacitly supporting the powers of darkness.

Closing

Listen to this from St. Paul.  “I have much to write to you, but I do not wish to write with pen and ink.  Instead, I hope to see you soon, when we can talk face to face.”  (3 John 1:13,14)   We should always seek the highest form of presence that we can with one another.

And hear this from St. Charles Borromeo,

Would you like me to teach you how to grow from virtue to virtue and how, if you are already recollected at prayer, you can be even more attentive next time, and so give God more pleasing worship? Listen, and I will tell you. If a tiny spark of God’s love already burns within you, do not expose it to the wind, for it may get blown out. Keep the stove tightly shut so that it will not lose its heat and grow cold. In other words, avoid distractions as well as you can. Stay quiet with God. Do not spend your time in useless chatter.

Our relationships are the means for sanctifying ourselves and the world around us.  We can’t allow secular social media to appropriate that dynamic of grace.  Rather, we should always bring relationships to the Holy Spirit, for Him to guide and mediate.  And, yes, on occasion, He may guide us to engage with people through various internet platforms – but in this way, the Holy Spirit becomes our true social media.