Two Aspects of God’s Love: Forever and Sacrifice

Around Valentine’s Day, when we think about human love, it may also be a good tine to think about two aspects of God’s love: Forever and Sacrifice. God’s love should be, indeed it is, that which causes earthly love to make sense. As a priest, whom I know, put it, God’s love is not just another love (another thing to take care of as it were), it is the love. God’s love for us and for His  church is what helps us understand martial love. It is what helps us understand familial love, friendship, priestly love. In short, it is behind all the other loves, and all the other loves reflect it.

I’d like to explore what we know about the love of God by looking at the writings of St. Paul along with quotes from the Gospels. I will pay special attention to the book of Hebrews which we have been reading lately at Mass. I will also focus on the everlasting quality of God’s love and its sacrificial element.

God’s Love is Forever

Romantic love moves us to say “forever” and to make promises of unshakable fidelity. Romantic proclamations are a reflection of the unshakable love God has for us and, in a special way, his church. I hope to return to Hebrews soon, but I will have to quote Romans to illustrate this point. It seems Hebrews more often discusses Christ’s priestly nature.

In Romans, St. Paul writes,

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all day long;

 we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:35-37)

These verses can give us comfort that “know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). These verses echo Christ’s promise that the gates of hell will never prevail against his Church (Matt 16:17-19). Indeed, as long as we remain inside Christ’s Church, the words of St. Paul hold true for us.

Forever Love in Marriage

In many Catholic weddings, the bride and the groom exchange this vow, “I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Other versions end with  “until death do us part.” In either case, lifespan conditions marital love. While people remember martial love for decades and it is manifest, in one sense, in descendants, martial love remains a reflection of Christ’s death-defying love for us and his Church.

The Sacrificial Aspect of God’s Love

Perhaps, the most crucial aspect of God’s love is sacrifice. To me, the sacrificial element of God’s love is expressed in three ways. It is sacrificial in a spousal sense, a paternal sense, and a priestly sense. I will explore all three of these ways using the writings of St. Paul. 

The Spousal Sense

Many seem to recoil at the word “sacrifice,” but it remains integral to all manifestations of love. Romantic love moves us not only to make promises but also to make sacrifices. The marital vows exchanged by couples are themselves promises of sacrifices. Therefore, unsurprisingly, St. Paul writes in Ephesians “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (5:25). St. Paul realizes that Christ’s relationship to the church mirrors the marital bond. In making this connection, he simply copies the Song of Songs and many other Old Testament writings.

As others have said,  the sacrifice of the husband sheds light on St. Paul’s infamous command that wives submit to their husbands. In their love for their wives, St. Paul calls husbands to mirror the sacrifice on cavalry that Christ made for His bride the Church. Yet, wives, too, must sacrifice. Culture makes these sacrifices less clear especially as gender roles shift. Yet sacrifice is part of becoming “one flesh”(Matt 19:5). 

The Fatherly Sense

God’s love is sacrificial in a fatherly sense. There are two senses to this. In one sense, he requires us to make sacrifices with him. Yet, in another, he sacrifices for us. In Hebrews chapter 12, St. Paul compares God to a human father that has to discipline his children. “[human fathers] disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good” (Hebrews 12:10). In this sense, God is the father who sacrifices even as his children sacrifice.

It is easy to picture God as a father who knows something will be hard for his child but also knows it is for the best. At points, in the Gospel such as the death of Lazarus, Jesus wept. In another sense, God is the father who gives his only son.  In sum, God’s sacrifice in both a fatherly and spousal way calls his Church to be willing to make the sacrifice. He is the father who gave himself for his children. 

The Priestly Sense

Finally, in the priestly sense, Christ makes the ultimate sacrifice for us. In chapter 10 of Hebrews, St. Paul describes the efficacy of Christ’s sacrifice in contrast to that of former priests. He writes, “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Heb. 10:14). As the high priest, Christ validates the sacrifice offered on our behalf by his priests. He also allows us to offer our sacrifices to God with him in the eucharist. 

God’s Love as a Guide

Corinthians 4:8-11 describes many aspects of love. It is kind, patient, and not-self-seeking among many other things. These aspects of love are aspects of God because God is love. They also should be aspects of romantic, familial, and pastoral relationships. Again, God’s love serves as the model for our lives. Unfortunately, these days love romantic love proves “self-seeking.” Marriages falter when self-sacrifice becomes necessary. 

Conclusion: A Note on Agape and Eros

I have explored sacrifice and steadfastness, but I have not directly discussed agape and eros. Broadly speaking, agape is more divine, self-giving love while eros is more desirous and passionate love. Erotic biblical descriptions of God’s love for us and his church lead us towards an understanding of agape. In our own lives, this rings true as well. In some sense, this movement from self-seeking to other-seeking could describe many romantic relationships and even other relationships. For instance, a passionate romance between a man and a woman should lead to a family and much self-giving.

These are hard lessons to swallow in our culture. I have struggled often to move from a selfish to more selfless love. Perhaps, it is helpful to recognize that even selfish love can lead to something divine. In writing this mini-conclusion, I am probably not doing eros justice. In my opinion, eros has gone somewhat rampant in the world, but it remains at root a force for good. Eros seems to be always developing, easily becoming a driver towards sacrifice or cruelty. Rightly ordered love will lead us towards God.