I can relate to Catholic Stand author Dennis Dillon’s sentiment about ingrates being the worst kind of human beings, and they are legion. I’ve met and encountered many of them. I’ve worked with them, eaten with them, socialized with them. I’ve even lived with some of them.
I remember we lived for several years with cousins whom my father sent to college. When my father died several years ago, only a handful of them bothered to go to his wake and burial! They looked like the ten lepers in the parable (Luke 17:11-19) whom Jesus healed but only the Samaritan returned to Him to give thanks and praise.
I know a relative who has everything – a faithful husband and good family provider, wonderful children, nice house, fancy cars, vacations here and there. In fact, she has lived a charmed life. The problem is: she takes all these for granted and finds fault in everything her husband does. What an ingrate indeed!
Habits are Formed
Even with the simplest things, you know when someone has not formed the habit of saying even a word of thanks. Some people just don’t know how to utter the words “thank you” or “I appreciate …” They find it very difficult to say these words just as they find it exhausting or demeaning to smile.
In many homes, do mothers genuinely thank their children when the latter wash the dishes or mow the lawn? Do husbands thank their wives when the latter make an effort to make home life a little less boring? Do wives thank their husbands for making breakfast? Do children thank their dads or moms for fetching them from school? I bet they don’t. They find saying the words “Thanks, mom” or “Thank you, dear” or “Thanks, honey” beneath them.
From the Heart
It’s true that gratitude is a memory of the heart. I believe that whenever we fail to thank someone or show some gratitude we fail to be humble ourselves. We feel this sense of self-entitlement with these thoughts running through our head: Why should I thank my children for doing their homework? Why do I need to thank them for washing the dishes when it’s part of their job around the house? Why should I thank my father for putting me through college – that’s his obligation!
Whenever we give in to these thoughts, we fail to remember that someone has done something good to us, and we forget to seize the chance to show that we are grateful – not necessarily in the material sense, but in the little and simple things in which they can know that we sincerely appreciate their goodness.
Counting Our Blessings
I truly believe that the trick to being grateful is in counting one’s blessings. And it’s actually the practical thing to do. Ages ago, I tried listing all my blessings and happily discovered that I couldn’t write them all! They were countless.
Yes, I started from the moment I woke up in the morning and found I was alive, in good health, and breathing! Next, I turned to my husband (who was still asleep). He was also alive, in good health, and breathing. Next, I peeped into my daughter’s room and she was there sleeping soundly. Then I went to the kitchen to cook breakfast, and I found there were eggs and milk in the fridge, electricity to heat up a kettle, a stove with which to make breakfast, a dining table laden with nourishing food.
I thanked the Lord for the home my husband has provided for me and my daughter. Then I opened the windows and thanked Him for a sunny, beautiful day – blue skies, cool breeze, tall trees that lined the main streets in our neighborhood. Then it crossed my mind that we had been living in a quiet village with nice, peace-loving neighbors who know each other. And this was just an hour after I woke up! Indeed, I found out that at every waking moment, we had something for which to thank the Lord.
Even in times when all is not well – when tragedy strikes, when a crisis at home or at work rears its ugly head — we need to thank the Lord for those things we thought would bring us hardship and suffering but were actually “blessings in disguise.”
The Hard Part
A person who shows us gratitude makes us feel good about ourselves, but when an ingrate comes into our lives, it hurts our ego. It ruins our self-importance. His or her ingratitude is a form of rejection.
The Lord teaches us that gratitude is not really a Christian concern – that is the hard part. Believe it or not, a Christian’s duty is not to feel good about himself/herself for performing good works. We shouldn’t expect those to whom we have done good to return a favor or a debt of gratitude. Giving should be its own reward. Of course, this is easier said than done.
It is hard to pray for an ingrate’s spiritual healing, but the Lord asks us to do that, and He tells us to have faith. So, I think, the trick is to continue to count one’s blessings – it will definitely help us pray for the ingrates in our lives.
2 thoughts on “The Holy Act of Counting Our Blessings”
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Thank you Lilia Borlongan-Alvarez.
It is all true what you wrote. We never think of thanking Our Lord for all that we have and all that we should be grateful for. Gratitude is a Divine quality not often recognised enough, but once we recognise it’s value it becomes a quality that will lift us up into becoming saints. Our Lady is Queen of Gratitude and we would do well to practice this as often as we can remember to do so. With every heart-beat one should be grateful for in that moment of time we can enrich ourselves with Divine Graces which we can share with others by praying for them. Thank you for reading your thoughts today.