The Gift of Faith: Protect It or Lose It

Faith is a gift given by God, a gift we can nourish and help grow or a gift we can squander.  The question arises whether we can have faith without prayer? Can we keep our faith without prayer? Have you ever questioned the importance of prayer? I know I have. This article is a “snapshot” of faith lost and retrieved through prayer.

Last night I stepped outside for a while it was a particularly dark night with a clear sky and a bright half-moon; the stars were amazingly visible, and the sight was inspiring. I knew that I was looking into the mystery of creation. It was beautiful and baffling at the same time, and I thought, “Does the wonder of the universe draw me closer to God or further away from Him?

This question came to mind as my thoughts shifted from mystery to doubt. Doubt seeking further explanation found none and came to rest with: “I don’t know.” Isn’t this how an agnostic person thinks? I don’t know (and neither do you) is the agnostic answer for everything those of us with faith call Mystery. I reflected on agnosticism for a moment and asked myself, “Which is easier: to have faith, or to have doubt?”

Even in faith, there is so much that we don’t know. “I don’t know” seems to answer a lot of questions, whether we have faith or not. So, my thoughts continued, and finally answered that it was easier to believe in doubt than to believe in Faith. It’s easier to be an agnostic than a believer. Agnosticism is not at all difficult; it’s quite natural. I stayed with this conclusion for a while, of course doubting my own faith as I gazed at the universe and asked: “Can I believe without a doubt?”

Then I followed my routine, thank God for good routines and habits. My evening routine is to pray at least one decade of the rosary for my deceased family members, and for the souls in purgatory. Before my prayer, my spirit was restless, my mind in doubt, about so many things. But I prayed anyway. And then it happened, and not for the first time, and hopefully, not for the last, I was granted peace, a penetrating soothing peace, calming my spirit and my mind. I didn’t deserve it; before praying my thoughts had turned away from God; yet, now, I was experiencing God; the love of God through my prayer.

I felt ashamed, how could He grant me such peace when I began to doubt His very existence? Prayer is a mystery; mystery is wonder, and it’s all the work of God. How far can I go with reason? Beyond reason, there is something else, and that something else reminds me of a parable:

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field (Matthew 13:44-45).

Faith is a divine gift.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 153). It is given to us by our heavenly Father so that we can communicate and stay in communion with Him.  Our faith can change, depending on how we use it; it can grow, casting out all doubt and becoming strong enough to move mountains. Jesus said to his disciples:

Have faith in God. Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore, I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.” (Mark 11:22-24).

Faith and doubt cannot co-exist; doubt weakens faith, and that’s what happened to me during my “reflection on creation, both beautiful and baffling.” Mystery and doubt do not merge; mystery belongs to God. When and if Our Lord wants me to understand His mysteries through reason, then He will help me to do so; until then, I need to leave it alone and accept it on faith, because God’s mysteries are sacred and holy.

In the Roman Catholic Church, the  First Vatican Council re-affirmed the existence of mysteries as a doctrine of the Catholic faith as follows:

If anyone says that in Divine Revelation there are contained no mysteries properly so-called (vera et proprie dicta mysteria), but that through reason rightly developed (per rationem rite excultam) all the dogmas of faith can be understood and demonstrated from natural principles: let him be anathema (Sess. III, De fide et ratione, can. i).

The position, if not the terminology, of other Christian churches, is essentially the same.

Doubting is easy, and without faith, it is the natural thing to do. With the gift of faith, it takes courage to overcome doubt. Faith will draw us closer to Christ; doubt will separate us from Him. When Saint Peter doubted that he could walk on water, he was momentarily separated from Christ:

During the fourth watch of the night, he (Jesus) came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost,’ They said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, ‘Take courage, it is I do not be afraid.’ Peter said to him in reply, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt? (Matthew 14:25-33).

St. James reinforces the dangers of retaining doubt:

for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, since he is a man of two minds, unstable in all his ways (James 1:6).

The gift of Faith is our responsibility. How we respond to that gift makes all the difference in this life and the life to come.