As a mother of a large family – twelve children ranging in age from four to 27 years – I am often asked this uncomfortable question: “How do you do it all?” How, indeed, is it possible to care for twelve individuals, not to mention my husband, and still do all the other things (i.e., work, volunteer, write, chat with friends) I do? In an instant, I can tell you this: I really do not know-how.
The question is an uncomfortable one, making me painfully aware of my plethora of shortcomings and mistakes. It makes me feel as if I am taking credit for something I did not do. Many times, I am either zipping along, just doing what I can, or just happy to be where I am. Either way, I cannot even begin to think that I am “doing it all”. More appropriately, I know I am doing what I can many times, but certainly (and unfortunately) not always. So, when things come together well and they work out for the good, there is only one way they ever do. Come closer and I will tell you how…or rather, Who.
Prayer- Our Father Who Art in Heaven
I have begun many prayers this way and the very meaning of words themselves is enough to make me stop in awe. Our Father. My Father. God is my Father. My Father is God! How incredible is that! The Alpha and the Omega. He is an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-merciful, and infinitely loving Creator – one and only God. Yet – never too busy for me.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s will. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows (Mt 10:29-31).
Take a Load Off
How comforting and consoling it is to know that our Father God wants to give us rest – if we let Him. He knows of our struggles and our troubles. Do we trust Him enough?
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:28-30)
Do we make time for Him – to be with Him and keep Him company? Perhaps the tiredness and exhaustion come, not from simply working hard, but from working on our own, without the help of God. Sadly, I am guilty of this. In my attempts to do as much as I can, relying on my own strength and capabilities, I disregard my Father God. Busy, busy, busy – too busy with so many important things! My Father waits for me, but I cannot be bothered for I am trying to do it all!
Radio Silence
This is when it all usually begins to fall apart: carefully and meticulously laid-out plans begin to show their flaws. Life happens. Murphy’s law kicks in. Serendipity? Fate? Misfortune? Something is missing – what is it? Who is it? The silence is deafening – but who left Who?
Why does it seem, at times, that God does not answer prayers? The silence is not because God has left us alone. It is usually because we have walked away from Him, paying Him no mind. If my focus is on what I want and when I want it, it usually means my vision is off. Skewed. Distorted, as if I was in a freaky house of warped mirrors.
God is where He always was and is. He is never even half a heartbeat away. It is I who turns away from Him – yet, He welcomes me every time I come to Him in prayer.
A Surge of the Heart
It would be easy to think that the success of everything we do depends on our own efforts alone. However, we only have to think of our relationships with those closest to our hearts – those who are most significant in our lives – to know that there is so much more that is necessary than what we have within us. To go beyond oneself – one’s self-interest and instinct for self-preservation – is often more difficult in practice than in theory.
On our own, left to our own devices, life’s challenges and unconditional love itself would be downright impossible. The game-changer, if you will, is a strong interior life – one built on and fortified by faith, hope, and love, through prayer, sacrifice, and action. If it is through God, with God, and in God that we find strength, courage, and the fortitude to face up to and overcome the difficulties we may encounter in life, why would we not prioritize our relationship with Him?
Constantly in His Presence
Do we truly believe that God is everywhere? Do we realize that He knows all that we say, do, and think – and does knowing this make a difference in our lives? My constant struggle with uncharitable thoughts aimed at fellow drivers on the road is a dynamic testimony to this weakness of mine in my interior life. Perhaps I should be praying more for that child of God who just cut me off and proceeded to haphazardly weave in and out of traffic. Perhaps I should pray more.
Definitely Pray More!
There are no “ifs”, “ands”, or “buts”: prayer is as essential as breathing and eating and anything else we do in order to physically survive. Without prayer, I know I tend to barrel through my day, slightly off-kilter, like a wonky compass pointing anywhere else but the true north. Prayer grounds us and allows us to see a bit or a lot better – with the eyes of God. We begin to see God’s hand in the things which take place around us. There is no luck – only providence.
To be in conversation with our Father God helps to build our trust in Him. Abandonment to His providence and trusting in His will become more natural because our relationship with Him is stronger. This is possible when we have a vibrant and active interior life: one of simple and sincere prayer and loving sacrifice. Focus on God leads us to see others with His eyes. It becomes possible for us to try and love others the way He wants us to love them – unconditionally. We see Christ in others and it becomes possible for them to know God’s love through us.
Contemplatives in the Middle of the World
Keeping close to our Father God – in constant touch with Him as we live our lives moment by moment – allows us to consider everything and everyone in the light of our faith. Suddenly, we are praying even we are doing our ordinary work, caring for our families, laughing with our friends, driving, cooking, eating, reading, even sleeping!
St. Josemaria Escriva wrote:
We are ordinary Christians. We work at the most varied professions. All our activity takes place amid everyday circumstances. Everything follows a customary rhythm in our lives. The days seem the same, even monotonous. But don’t forget that our condition which is apparently so common has a divine value. God is interested in everything we do, because Christ wishes to become incarnate in our things, to vivify from within even our most insignificant actions.
This thought is a clear, objective, supernatural reality. It is not a pious consideration to comfort those of us who will never get our names inscribed in the annals of history. Christ is interested in the work we do — whether once or thousands of times — in the office, in the factory, in the shop, in the classroom, in the fields, in the exercise of any manual or intellectual occupation. He is likewise interested in the hidden sacrifices we make to keep our bad humour or temper to ourselves.
Review in your prayer these thoughts. Take occasion of them to tell Jesus that you adore him. And thus you have a formula to become contemplatives in the middle of the world, amid the noises of the street, at all times and in all places. This is the first lesson we should learn in the school of intimacy with Christ. And in this school, Mary is the best teacher, because the Virgin always kept this attitude of faith, of supernatural vision, regardless of what happened around her: “And his mother kept all these words in her heart (St. Josemaria Escriva, “Christ is Passing By”, Number 174).
Ordinary Mom and Child of God
In my personal experience, I cannot claim to even come close to “doing it all”. I exist by virtue of God’s love for me. If this is true – and I know it is! – then it follows that I must maintain and strengthen my relationship with my Father God by having a strong interior life. It is what helps me to better understand what God wants of me – as a wife, a mother, a friend, a professional, a neighbour, a writer, and much more. Prayer is a talent we have been blessed with – a gift from One Who wants us to be as close to Him as we possibly can.
You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you (St. Augustine of Hippo).
