Loving Our Children With The Heart Of God

The art of conversation is one which has – for many people – become lost or forgotten in this world of smart devices, ultra-fast technology, and the dizzying array of information which always seems to be just a click or swipe away.  It is not an unfamiliar sight to see a group of people sitting together with their heads bowed down in silence….as they each focus on the screen of their phone. Now, when one could be with someone in person, many times one is distracted by another whose presence is felt via text message, phone, or video call. Perhaps one is more interested in what is happening on social media and overlooks the opportunity to actually socialize with others in person.

To speak with someone – to look into their eyes and react to what they are saying – to listen thoughtfully and with respect is to recognize and affirm their dignity as a person. It is almost certainly how each one of us would like for ourselves and for our children. How essential it is in this day and age to be intentional in how our young people are able to be affirmed in their dignity as human beings and especially as children of God! This happens every single day, during the ordinary passing of weeks and months and years – as life unfolds and we are given these wonderfully precious opportunities to love our children as God Himself does.

How Do You Split Your Heart?

A former co-worker, who then had two children, said to me once, “You have so many kids. How can you possibly split your heart for all of them?” She could not understand how it was possible to divide one’s love among six children.

I recall being puzzled at her question because I had never thought of loving my children as an act of splitting up my heart into however many equal pieces corresponded to how many kids there were. I believe I told her that as each child came along, it was as if my heart grew bigger. I loved (and still do) each child as much as the other. There was always room for one more.

The Mystery of More

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2) Just as Jesus said this about heaven, I believe the same could be said about the heart of God the Father. There is always room for one more in the heart of He Who created us and “loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (Jn 3:16) This divine and eternal Lover loves like no other. He does not have to divide His heart or split a finite amount of love among a limited number of souls. There is always room for more. One more. Two more. Ninety-nine is not enough if there are 100.

“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” (Mt 18:12-14)

We are called to love more – to love those whom God has sent our way and put in our lives. For parents, this is especially so for those souls our Father God has entrusted into our care as our children. They are part of the “more” for which there should always be room in our hearts if we are to love as God loves.

Shooting for the Moon

As a parent, I can tell you that I find that to be a pretty tall order. It is mighty challenging to love as God loves – challenging but not impossible. After all, we are never given that which we cannot bear:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Cor 10:13)

Yet, the daily struggles can take a toll on anyone. I love all my children, every single one of them. Would I give my life for any of them? Yes, in a heartbeat. Do I take my vocation as a mother to heart? You bet I do! Do I always like my children? No, I do not. That is the truth. I may not like them all the time, but I do love them and I do not always have to like them or what they do. This is what makes loving as God loves a bit of an uphill climb – for me, at least – but it is a climb that is necessary and worth it. For it is when I love my child, by the grace of God, as best I can, with all my human faults and mistakes, thaAdd Newt His presence is made present (however imperfectly) in my child’s life.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No man has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 Jn 4:9-12)

God’s Heartbeat

The presence of a heartbeat at a prenatal ultrasound is a cause for joy. It means that there is life! Does the heart of God beat? Does He have a pulse? Of course, He does! His existence and presence become more vibrant, though, through others. He is made present through each and every one of us –  if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

Our own response and action are necessary – essential in God’s divine plan of love, mercy, and providence.

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh, I complete what is lacking[a] in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church” (Col 1:24).

We are called to love as our Father God loves, and in this way, our active participation fulfills a purpose and is significant as God intends it to be. When we fulfill the will of God, our heartbeat becomes His own.

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…

Parents – mothers and fathers – have the special vocation to love their children as God loves them. Although it may be challenging, it is not impossible at all. Jesus Himself has shown us the way to love as we ought by His own examples of mercy and compassion: those whom He healed and whose sins He forgave. He paid attention to those who spoke of their heartaches and suffering to Him and He listened. He understood their suffering and invited them to trust in and follow Him:

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:29-30)

In as much as we make God’s presence more real to those around us when we love them, our own acts of love for those who need our help and presence the most become the suffering Christ Himself, Who calls on us to love Him in return.

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?  And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’ (Mt 25:37-40)

Conversations with Christ

Today, I had the pleasure of having lunch with my 23-year old son. He is my favourite dining buddy for seafood – the meal is that much more enjoyable when you know your companion relishes the food as much as you do! The food was good, but the company was so very many times better. We talked about different things – his work and mine, his plans and mine. He told me what he thought about my plans and I was grateful for his advice and opinion. I told him what I thought about his work situation and he listened intently and agreed. More than any kind of food, it was our sincere conversation which nourished my heart and soul.

Whether you have one child or 12, young or old, or perhaps the person who needs you the most is not your child – whatever the case may be, know that your conversations with this person are meaningful and significant if you listen sincerely and love as God loves. After all, this person, whoever it may be, is Someone’s child and is loved unconditionally by his or her Father.