Living in the Present Moment

Let’s face it – most of us live in the worst moments of our lives. Something bad happened to us ten or twenty years ago, and we live it over and over again.

Living in the Past

The late Mother Angelica, the contemplative nun who founded the world’s largest religious media network, EWTN, told a true story of two men who lived together in a log cabin in Alaska.

When one of them died, his friend buried him near where they lived. But the next morning, he saw his dead friend sitting on a chair, so he buried him again. The following day, he saw his friend again on the chair, and he buried him once more. This went on for weeks. Then it suddenly dawned on him that he was sleepwalking and he himself was digging his friend up every night! She used this as an example of not being able to let go of the past.

She also told of a woman who came up to her complaining that she couldn’t fry her eggs the way she used to because she had arthritis. Mother Angelica advised her: “So break it and take out the shell! What’s the difference? It doesn’t matter how it looks…it’s the same egg! We worry too much about silly things the way they used to be.”

I have a friend who says she can’t sleep at night because she can’t keep her mind off the many projects she has laid in the pipeline with her business partners and her plans to work her butt off so she can make P10 million (Filipino Pesos) within a year. Not that it’s bad to dream big about the future, but worrying about tomorrow can’t replace working hard today. (And of course, we’re not talking either of saving for the future or buying insurance, which is all very practical and sensible.)

At social and family gatherings, have you noticed how you have to flip through photo albums and ogle the fish inside the aquarium while the hosts are too busy to notice you? It’s anything but living in the present moment!

No to Multitasking

Because we live in an age of countless distractions and in a world where multitasking is the name of the game, we forget about our capacity to pay attention to the here and now. Jay Dixit, in his book The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment, writes that we let the present slip away squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.

When we’re at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; when we’re on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. Living in the present moment – also called mindfulness – is a state of active, open intentional attention on the present. Mindful people are happier, more secure, and are more accepting of their own weaknesses.

Dixit cites a classic example: “When we sip coffee, we say ‘this is not as good as what I had last week.’ We eat a cookie and think, ‘I hope I don’t run out of cookies.’”

Yes to Savoring

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist and the author of The How of Happiness, advises that those of us who tend to slip into the past in our thoughts ought to relish instead whatever we’re doing at present. She calls it savoring the moment. “This could be while you’re eating pastry, taking a shower, or basking in the sun,” she says.

And why should we practice savoring the present moment?  Dixit says it is because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future: “The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing – worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet and might not happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future – and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present, worrying melts away.”

One Thing at a Time

Leo Babauta, author of The Power of Less, says even housework can be less boring. The trick, he says, is to do one thing at a time. “When you’re pouring water, just pour water. When you’re eating, just eat. When you’re bathing, just bathe. Don’t try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing or driving.”

When talking to someone, he says, many of us think about what we need to do or what we want to say next. “Focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying your time with that person,” Babauta says. It’s funny how many of us converse with people and at the same time think about the bills we have to pay or the phone call we need to make when we get to the office.

Whether we’re tying our shoes or washing the dishes, living in the present moment means being mindful of things in front of us, practicing awareness in all our actions, and focusing on whatever it is we’re doing. And for those of us who worry a lot (which is really a lack of faith), ruminate a lot, or dwell on past accomplishments, it’s best to think that the past is dead and the future unborn. The only important moment is the present moment.