Giving Up! (A Lenten Reflection)

“I give up! I’m done! I’m through!” Giving up, in the context of these statements, usually means letting go of something for good. After trying (perhaps for years) to work through a particular problem or situation, we often decide to “throw in the towel.”

Know When to Fold ’Em

The expression “play with the hand you are dealt” applies to giving up some of the “cards” in our possession. In the mega-hit “The Gambler,” written by Don Schlitz, Kenny Rogers sings:

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run

Giving up, then, should involve careful deliberation in negotiating life’s challenges as well as in playing poker. Whether you’re walking away or running, knowing when and how to “fold ’em” is essential in life. Leaving something behind requires a change of attitude, behavior, and lifestyle, and it doesn’t happen easily.

Giving Up with Serenity

The “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr illustrates how God’s grace is necessary to identify things we can change with courage and what we can accept with serenity:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things which should be changed,

And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

Filling the Void

Giving up something for Lent could mean giving up for good, but more than likely means doing without specific consumables for a fixed period. It requires wisdom, along with discernment, to distinguish between what should or should not be given up for Lent and beyond. As beneficial as emptying ourselves can be, it is only half of the equation. The other half involves filling the void created. Ideally, something that has a negative effect could be replaced with something positive. In spiritual terms, it is important to fill our “empty space” with prayer, almsgiving, and fasting.

Jesus offers this sobering example in scripture:

When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it wanders through waterless regions looking for a resting place, but it finds none. Then it says, “I will return to my house from which I came. When it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and live there; and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So will it be also with this evil generation. (Matthew 12:43-45)

In God’s Care

Once the house that is our soul has been “swept and put in order,” we must be vigilant in the way we furnish and maintain our dwelling place. When we give up something for God’s sake and pray to the Holy Spirit, we are assured of God’s providential care. We are encouraged to ask, seek and knock, confident that our prayers will be heard and answered in accord with God’s love and concern for our well-being.

Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11)

Through the Door of Death

Giving something up can be likened to the transformation that occurs at death. As Christians, we are called to die to sin in all its forms. It is through the door of death that new life begins. Let us heed these words from Jesus during Lent as we enter more deeply into the Paschal Mystery in our journey toward the Easter season:

Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. (John 12:24 NABRE)

Let us pray for the grace to give up what separates us from God in exchange for the grace that draws us closer to bearing good fruit for the kingdom.