Building Emotional Capital Through the Fruits of the Holy Spirit

The idea of emotional capital comes from the business community of deposits and withdrawals of money. The more dollars we put into the bank, the more of a dollar cushion we have and the more we can withdraw. Simple enough in terms of money, but what about in terms of relationships?

“By Their Fruits, You Will Know Them”

We know that emotions play a significant role in relationships of all kinds. Relationships with family, work, friends, church, and God are all subject to and influenced by our emotions.  And like deposits of money into a bank, we must make deposits of emotional capital in our relationships. I think the Beatles said it best in their song “The End” with the lyrics, “The love you take is equal to the love you make.”

The deposits of emotional capital have much to do with observable behaviors. Saint Matthew points that out directly:

Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So, by their fruits, you will know them. (Matthew 7:17-20)

What fruits? If we do not know them, then how will we live them? Or how will we recognize them in others? What do the fruits of the Holy Spirit entail? How do we incorporate them into our daily lives? Do we see them in others? Can Scripture help us do that? The fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.   Scripture can help us to bring the Fruits into our lives. We demonstrate them by the kind of life we lead. We show them by our deeds!

The Fruits of the Holy Spirit

Love

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest and pleasure in something.

It is no mistake that the first fruit of the Holy Spirit is love. Love is in about 100 Old and New Testament verses. Jesus Himself said, “I give you a new commandment: love one another.  As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Love is genuinely willing the good of the other as other.  The mood and enthusiasm that comes from a person rooted in love ripples out positively to others around them. When you love Jesus with all your heart, soul, and mind, you become more self-confident and more aware of that love. As you love Him more than you love yourself, so you love others more than you love yourself. You have nothing to hide; you are a completely transparent person as you bask in spiritual and human love.

That kind of love impacts the people around you in a positive way. It is like you drop a pebble of your passion into a quiet lake and it ripples outward. Remember, God is love. And the rock of love He released on humankind was His Son, Jesus. God created us in His image, and as God is love, so we share in his vision of love.

Joy

Joy is the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.

• “A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

It saddens me to no end to see so many people who always see the glass as half empty. I do not know why that happens. Is it some genetic make-up? Or a nurturing mishap at an earlier age? Is it a case of incurable melancholia? How does joylessness become the norm for some people and others’ joyfulness? I know: “My spirit rejoices in God my Savior” (Luke 1:47).  And when my spirit is down, I also know that Jesus is willing to share my burden with me (cf. Matthew 11:28-30).

Joy comes from doing the right thing, especially when no one is looking.  It comes from being trustworthy and honest.  How often have you heard someone say, “So-and-so is such a delight?”  Do you ever wonder what makes “So-and-so” such a delight?

If you are a joyful person to be around, then people will gravitate towards you.  Do you know a smile can go a very long way in some people’s lives?  Your happy expression may be the only joyful experience that person had that day, week, or month! Smile often!

Peace

Peace is a state of mutual harmony or tranquility between people or groups.

The handmaidens of peace are justice, fairness, and equality. Absent these, harmony and tranquility become challenging to achieve. What is fair is fair. People lean towards evenhandedness, whether it is in sports, politics, religion, or personal relationships. Peace comes when fairness abounds, and forgiveness is given and received.

Native Americans in the eastern U.S. literally “buried the hatchet” deep into the earth as a symbol of making peace.

Have you ever been in the presence of a holy person?  A priest, nun, or very religious man or woman? Did you notice the peaceful, calm manner they exude? In Scripture, Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27). I can only imagine the peaceful mannerism of Jesus as he said this to his disciples. The peace Jesus speaks of, a peace that consists of harmonious relations, calmness, and tranquility, comes from knowing God.

Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. were peaceful campaigners for justice, fairness, and equality. I am sure that their hearts were troubled and afraid, and I’m sure that Jesus’ peace was within them.

Patience

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer” (Romans 12:12). This powerful sentence reminds me of Saint Padre Pio’s mantra, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”

The COVID-19 pandemic and its restrictions, church scandals, church schisms, church indifference, church confusion over LGBT and marriage, abortion, political voting. Clergy not taking a stand on critical doctrinal items. We blame God for the loss of a loved one.  Unfortunately, too many Catholics lose patience and leave the church. I think we have to pray to God for the “patience of Job.” These are all significant issues and can impact our patience. Still, there are also everyday smaller situations that try our mettle.

Sometimes I run out of patience.  Impatience creeps up on me and then bites me in the rear end. There are times that I honestly do pray for patience, and there are times that I say, “Lord, give me patience NOW!”  I especially need patience towards those who have done me an injustice.

Kindness

Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

“See, then, the kindness and severity of God: severity toward those who fell, but God’s kindness to you, provided you remain in his kindness; otherwise, you too will be cut off.” (Romans 11:22) Kindness always matters, no matter what. Some people do not realize that “kindly people benefit themselves, but the merciless harm themselves” (Proverbs 11:17). Doing acts of kindness for the very purpose of the action with no expectation of reward or acknowledgment is what Scripture and Jesus have in mind. Doing and recognizing random acts of kindness is a pathway to heaven.

Goodness

Goodness is the quality of being upright or virtuous.

“Give and gifts will be given to you; a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. For the measure with which you measure will, in return, be measured out to you.” (Luke 6:38)

Doing good things for the sake of doing good feels right; that is a pure and simple fact. Did you ever go up to a military serviceman or servicewoman and say, “Thank you for your service to our country”?  How about standing in line at a coffee shop with a police officer behind you and saying to the clerk, “I want to pay for whatever s/he is having?”  Do you say “thank you” all the time?  Little acts of goodness go a very long way in depositing emotional capital for others and especially for you. Goodness, like kindness, always matters.

Faithfulness

Faithfulness is having complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Do you have faith? Do you believe that there is a God? Do you trust the tenets of the Creed? In 2 Corinthians 5:7, Saint Paul says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Do you believe that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”? (Hebrews 13:8)

If there was ever a time that our faith may save us is now. In less than a year, 360,000 Americans have lost their lives to the COVID-19 pandemic. Who will answer our call during this pandemic? Our faith tells us that Jesus is our salvation; He is with us.  In his Sunday sermon, a local priest noted that the pandemic started during Lent of last March, the vaccines during Advent of this year. Advent is the season that proclaims the coming of our Savior, the hope of our salvation.

I think faithfulness is one of those fruits that you either have or have not.  There is no middle of the road with faith; indifference does not cut it.  You either believe or do not think so.   If you have no faith, then how can people have faith in you.

Gentleness

Gentleness is the quality of being kind, tender, or mild-mannered.

• “But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” (1 Peter 3:15)
• “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse one breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

In thinking of people in your life, do you remember a gentle, mild-mannered person?  I remember one particular fishing boat captain, a black man, that I never heard or saw him get angry, curse, or speak ill of anyone. I had known him as a friend for over 40 years.

It was near the end of his life when he phoned me to say that I was on his people list.  I did ask, “What list was that? The s___ list?” He laughed and said, “Oh, no.”  I asked him if he was a man of faith. He said, “Not where I’m going; I think the flames are going to be hot.”  I said, “No way, you’re too good a man.”

Even now, many years after his passing, when someone around the docks mentions his name, the comment you hear is, “He was a gentleman, a good guy.”  His life-long observable behavior of gentleness, goodness, and calmness left a beautiful legacy that I think worth emulating.

Self-Control

Self-control can control one’s emotions, desires, or expressions of behavior, especially in difficult situations.

• “A city breached and left defenseless are those who do not control their temper.” (Proverbs 25:28)
• “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
• “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love.” (2 Peter 1:5-7)
• “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sunset on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26)

Scripture is replete with messages about self-control. Often when we lose it, we are the ones who suffer most from the loss. I genuinely try to avoid conflict in my life. Dr. Wayne Dyer has a beautiful short YouTube video. It suggests an activity one should do every night for the rest of one’s life for five minutes before falling asleep. This video may very well help you program your subconscious mind to rid itself of negativity or turmoil in your heart.

Glorify The Lord By Your Life

There is tremendous meaning in a priest’s closing Mass announcement when he says, “Glorify the Lord by your life.” You can do this by living the fruits of the Holy Spirit so that by your life, Jesus’ love can be perceived and felt by people today. You build emotional capital for yourself and others by your actions and your recognition of others’ fruits. When you genuinely will the good of the other as other and acknowledge it as such, then love is the fruit that truly can bring people together as one. Jesus has always lived and taught love.

Remember, by your actions, “You can either be a host to God or a hostage to your ego.  It’s your call.” (Dr. Wayne Dyer)