Betraying Christ With a Kiss

“Jesus said, ‘Judas, are you betraying the Son of man with a kiss?’ (Luke 22: 48)

Lent is a time of reflection; to look deep within ones-self; to let God into the deep, dark recesses of our hearts, and root out anything that doesn’t belong to Him. It can also a time of praying only the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, preparing us for Holy Week, followed by the glorious resurrection and reception of Our Lord in the Eucharist on Easter. Lent my friends can be a very productive time but only if we allow this sometimes painful reflection.

Over the years I have often tried to imagine myself, spiritually transport myself into whatever mystery I happen to be focusing on while praying the Rosary. My thoughts often bring me to the same place, as there is so much to be gained from revisiting the scene playing out in my prayers. Sometimes, God brings me to some new aspect; some new character which I need to focus on, and this Lent, as I prayed and meditated on the First Sorrowful Mystery, the Agony in the Garden, I found my attention focused on the intimate scene between Jesus and Judas.

Identifying With Judas

We like to think of who our favorite biblical characters are and how we might identify with them. I am often drawn to Mary of Magdala, or the woman healed from years of hemorrhage at just the touch of the hem of Jesus garment. I have struggled with St. Peter over the years (most likely due to the times in my own life when I’ve denied the Lord) but have now come to love him. But, I’ve never identified myself with Judas. That is, until now.

I’m sure there are many theologians who have studied Judas and his intentions and goals. Here, in my limited knowledge, I only want to focus on what can only be guessed at and how it fits with my contemplation, the questions that arise, and what it means to me and my soul.

We know Judas was a thief; he held the monetary donations for the little band of Jesus followers and stole from the proceeds.  Jesus chose him and Judas said yes to following Him for 3 years of his life. He most likely saw Jesus as a messiah who would be a world leader;  a politician who would bring about the Judaic Kingdom he imagined. Maybe Judas would have a place of honor or power in this new kingdom, a position which could give him much worldly esteem and pleasures. With this kind of thinking, we can surmise that Judas was seeking fulfillment and approval by his fellow men in his life in a temporal way.

Disillusioned

As Jesus taught the disciples, Judas may have believed all his dreams would come true, that is until Jesus began to teach them about His coming suffering He Must endure. When Judas really began to harden his heart of course only God knows, but I can imagine how he may have begun the process of forming a plan; a plan that would force his own agenda. When he opened the portal in his soul for Satan to take hold, did Judas have any love (albeit worldly love) at all in his own mind for Our Lord? I ask this question for very personal reasons.

Betraying With a Kiss

If Judas ‘believed’ he loved Jesus, have there been times in my own life I may go back to and admit my own lack of love for Jesus, even when I believed I DID love Him? Can all of us honestly say we have never done this betrayal to Him?

I know without a doubt that as I reflect on my entire life, I ALWAYS THOUGHT I loved God. But, for every time I lied, I betrayed Jesus. For every time I treated my body poorly (gluttony), every time I was so drunk and prayed I wouldn’t drink that much again and yet did the same thing the next weekend, each time I prayed for God to ‘fix’ me but refused to give up anything that gave me comfort, I betrayed Him.

When I entered into sinful, sexual relations, each and every time I betrayed Him. When I killed my children via abortion, I betrayed Him. The list is extensive. I, like Judas, had my own agenda; my own way of thinking what success or love should be and I betrayed Jesus every single time with a kiss as if I were saying to Him, “I love you Jesus…but these things are more important” or “ I don’t want to think of suffering the way you’ve been talking” or “Surely my understanding of love is better. I love You, but do you really love me? If you did, you’d let me enjoy the comforts I seek”.

Choices We Make

The difference between myself and Judas is that at the point we both realized just how wrong we were there was a new choice to be made. Would we realize we could not undo the damage we’d done to not only ourselves and others, but to Jesus? Would we accept the forgiveness He so lovingly poured out on the cross for us? Could we see that His sacred suffering was His most loving plan and to reject His mercy would only inflict more wounds? Could we acknowledge that every evil thought could be forgiven as His Sacred Head was so wounded with the crown of thorns of my making?

It pains my heart that Judas seems to have rejected God’s abundant mercy, poured out even for him. It is a hard, hard thing to receive sacrificial love. We fear it because we don’t want to admit the things we desire, the things of the flesh are so very damaging to all. We fight it and recreate God in our minds and say He is a loving God who wants us to have whatever we want, especially when it comes to love. We push others to accept these new morals to appease our guilt which we refuse to confess. We refuse to admit the carnal desires are killing us and have flipped societal morals on their heads.

Root Out Sin

It is long past time to look into those dark places in our souls that destroy ourselves and our neighbors. We need to let the Master Gardener root out the gluttony, the envy, the jealousy, the lust, the contraception, the living with our significant other,  the sex outside of a sacramental marriage between one man and one woman, and on and on and on. Anything outside of what God has ordered is not loving, it is betraying Jesus with a kiss.

I am many years past the point when I realized I had done these grievous things to God and so thankful for the years of reparation for all I have done and throw myself in His Ocean of Mercy. It is and has been a long journey and I know as I examine my conscience that each sin plants a betrayal kiss on My Lord.

Time is Running Out

My fear is time is running short. When evil in the world is considered good and good is now thought evil, then it is high-time we run to the foot of the cross. It is there that we can learn what true love is and it is there we can renew our love, real sacrificial love, for Our Lord. It is there that we may kiss the foot of Jesus as we embrace the cross. It is not in the comforts of the world (which turn out to be no comfort at all) but only here, as we lay it all at His feet we will know the only love that ever mattered.

Yes, I believe the time is running short. Our excuses are long and empty. The time of Mercy may be coming to an end and the time of Judgement may be on the horizon.  Let all the temporal things that tempt us to go and claim the love you’ve always desired. Give Jesus the kiss of love that makes up for every betrayal. Do it for the love of God, yourself, and your neighbor before it’s too late. Late like it was for Judas.