Who Do You Run With?

Who do you run with? In terms of other, like-minded Catholic Christians, with whom do you share your faith? We were created for communion with others—for community. We need others to help us on our way toward union with God. In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read:

…And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken…” (Eccl 4:12)

Dan Burke, founder of the Avila Institute and Apostoli Viae, has said that “saints run in packs.”

Examples from History

Looking back in history, it’s easy to see what he means.

• John Cassian, who brought Eastern monasticism to the West, was a protégé of Evagrius of Pontus, a noted monastic mystic and author.
• Saint Benedict and St. Scholastica were both friends and siblings.
• Saint Francis of Assisi and St. Dominic were contemporaries and friends.
• Ignatius of Loyola, Saints Francis Xavier and Peter Faber, with three other men, founded the Society of Jesus.
• St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross reformed the Carmelite order.

If you’d have asked St. Francis de Sales, “Who do you run with?” he might have told you that he provided spiritual direction to St. Jane Frances de Chantel. He helped her begin a new religious community, the Congregation of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. He then later introduced her to his friend, St. Vincent de Paul, whom he asked to look after the convent in Paris.

You can probably suggest other similar, saintly relationships. The point is that you and I need support in this life if we’re to grow in union with God for the next life.

Support Behind Enemy Lines

In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis wrote,

Enemy-occupied territory—that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us to take part in a great campaign of sabotage.”

Indeed, you’re operating in enemy territory. You and I are called to carry out special operations for the King in this theater of spiritual warfare where the battle is being waged for our souls and those of others. As well, pursuing the interior life can be arduous. It’s hard work, but it can bring great joy. For these reasons you need friends with whom to carry out your operations. You need support in the arduous, and someone with whom to share your joy. The question in this context might be rephrased from “Who do you run with?” to “Who’s in your squad or platoon?”

So, who do you run with? Do you have a group of like-minded people at the parish with whom you can share your faith and assist one another in spiritual growth? Do you belong to a religious order that can help provide you with formation and structure to move you forward in your interior life?

Membership in Religious Orders

Membership in religious orders and associations provides an opportunity for lay people who live in the world to share in the religious practices, devotions and charisms of religious orders such as the Dominicans, Carmelites, Franciscans, Benedictines, Apostoli Viae, and others. Each of the orders or associations has its own charism. Some charisms may attract you; others may not.

The time period normally required to attain to full lay membership in an order will vary by order. While not professing public vows as such, the lay members belong to the religious order. They live under the rule of the order as applied to their lives in the world, and meet periodically for prayer, community, and formation.

The frequency and nature of community activities—opportunities for getting together with others in the group—vary by group. If you are interested in affiliation with a religious order, take some time to learn about the orders near you, the group of laity you’d be joining, what they do, and how orthodox they are in their beliefs. You can find widely different views of the Catholic faith between two different groups in the same order. So, perform your due diligence.

Other Support Groups

Consider also men’s ministries, women’s ministries, adult faith formation and Bible study groups at your parish. Your parish website or bulletins probably have information in them that outline meeting dates, times and leadership contacts for parish ministries.

Many parishes have Knights of Columbus councils that meet monthly and provide assistance to the parish through many activities ranging from pancake breakfasts to fish fries and lots of events in between. Some of the Knights’ groups have a women’s auxiliary that meets routinely and helps out around the parish as well. And, the more notable groups combine their works of service with spiritual growth opportunities as well.

Don’t overlook informal prayer groups or even groups of like-minded friends and acquaintances from the parish. Through participation in these, you can provide and receive spiritual and socio-emotional support, and can develop some great friendships over time. This type of involvement may take a little more effort on your part to begin with, though. Finding the Sunday Mass that best fits you and continuing to meet others who also regularly attend can be a start. Attending parish social events can be a way to get acquainted with others. Over time, as you become more familiar with other parishioners, opportunities for deeper involvement normally will unfold.

Don’t Go It Alone

If, like me, you’re something of an introvert by nature, pray in Jesus’ name for the Holy Spirit’s gift of Piety to help you grow in the virtue of Affability and in Charity. While you’re at it, ask Him for the gift of Fortitude as well. There are many opportunities to band together for spiritual advancement. Don’t let shyness hold you back. Don’t go it alone. Find others with whom to share your trek and your joy as you carry out your mission from God.

…let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near… (Hebrews 10:24-25)