Catholic masculinity is in a precarious position during these turbulent times. While it has never been more needed in the history of the world, it is virtually nonexistent. One can easily see this absence of Catholic masculinity in everyday life. Every facet of Western society has been negatively impacted by the lack of—or even complete absence of—Catholic masculinity.
Gentlemen, it is time to reverse this trend and return to being the men we are called to be, to become the men God designed us to be. While I am certainly not without fault myself, I have confronted this very issue within my own life in recent years. Through that process, I can now recognize and identify some of the issues affecting Catholic masculinity today. I have also outlined an action plan that we can apply to our daily lives to help reverse the current trend of authentic Catholic masculinity being absent from modern culture.
Unplug
Never before have we as a society been more connected. While this initially sounds like an amazing development, being connected in the wrong ways and allowing it to become a dangerous addiction can be detrimental to our wellbeing and masculinity. Without thinking, we consistently find ourselves spending countless hours scrolling through our social media apps.
While the initial intention of social media may have been good, for most of us it has become a dangerous addiction that is nearly impossible to overcome. Men were not designed to doom scroll on an electronic device endlessly everyday. There is nothing less masculine than scrolling on a device to merely keep up on local gossip or comparing our lives to others’ fake public persona. It seems that those who are continually on these apps have two versions of themselves= the real person, and the carefully crafted version of themselves for the outside world to see.
Most personal and family relationships that men are involved in are negatively impacted due to these social outlets. While there are apps that exist that can bring good into our lives, most of them are a cesspool of negativity that have the ability to lead men to the many evils in the world. These apps can easily lead to spiritual and literal sloth, neglect of
work, neglect of personal and family relationships, infidelities, etc. The possibilities of evil are endless on these small devices that consume our daily lives.
In many cases, these devices own us. Being plugged into these electronic tools is definitely not what being a masculine Catholic gentleman should be doing. True Catholic Masculinity requires more action!
Become a Catholic Gentleman
Perhaps the most masculine thing that a Catholic man can do in twenty first centuryis to become a true, authentic Catholic gentleman. What is a Catholic gentleman? While a difficult question to answer, I feel that Sam Guzman defines a Catholic gentleman perfectly by stating,
First and foremost, a Catholic gentleman is Catholic; that is, he is permeated to the core by the faith handed down for twenty centuries…A Catholic gentleman does not hide his faith but, rather, lets his light shine before men and witnesses to the beauty of the truth with joy, humility, and love.
I believe that there is no better way to define the phrase “Catholic gentleman”.
The first part of his definition sounds simple enough, but it is quite difficult. How Catholic are
you? Being a nominal Catholic who attends Mass religiously on Easter and Christmas, simply will not do. More is needed to obtain the masculinity that is involved in being a genuine Catholic gentleman. Attend Mass as often as possible, several times a week even. Join and participate in ministries or councils within your parish. Dive into scripture and look to the examples of masculinity found in the Holy Bible.
The earthly father of Our Lord, Saint Joseph, perfectly embodies the masculinity that is needed in twenty first century America. God entrusted Saint Joseph to not only protect Our Mother but to bring Our Lord up in the ways of masculinity. It is from Saint Joseph that Jesus learned how to labor, to become a carpenter to help provide for his family. It is from Saint Joseph that Christ probably witnessed the best example of masculinity in the history of the world. Saint Joseph fully obeyed God the Father without hesitation when Our Lady was visited by the Archangel Gabriel with the news that she was to bring the King of Kings into the world.
Think of it, the full trust he put in God after being visited by angels in a dream to flee with Mother Mary into Egypt to evade King Herod’s orders to kill all first born sons is remarkable. That gentlemen, is a perfect example of a Catholic gentleman and perfectly personifies Catholic masculinity. I often contemplate if any other first century man Sam Guzman, who wrote The Catholic Gentleman, would have acted in such a way.
The Second part of Guzman’s definition of being a Catholic Gentleman and being a man who possess pure Catholic masculinity is putting your faith into action. Guzman implies that others should be able to recognize and identify your Catholic masculinity without you announcing it. Being a Catholic gentleman is more authentic when it is noticed by deeds, works, and actions.
While most of these characteristics sound easy enough to posses, most Catholic American men do not successfully check all of the boxes. Practice basic manners and respect. These markers of masculinity are not seen nearly enough in today’s world. Profanities, low intellect,and poor manners are seen throughout every sector of American society at alarming levels.
The lack of these masculine characteristics affects every area of society. Not that it feminizes men, but it makes the men that behave in such a way seem animalistic in nature. Simply put, it is time that Catholic men took it upon ourselves to realize that this is no way to conduct ourselves . Being a Catholic gentleman is much better and looks good on all of us as opposed to the neanderthal-like behavior that is currently being exhibited by the majority of society.
It is an important part of displaying masculinity which is fully Catholic in nature.
Bring Back Traditional Masculinity
Many traits of masculinity have virtually disappeared over the past few decades. This can be seen in how we conduct ourselves in our family, personal, and even our romantic relationships. Families simply fall apart with relative ease in the twenty first century. To combat this, we as Catholic gentlemen need to display masculine traits with the members of our families. In many ways we need to become more “old school” in the ways we conduct our relationships. Now more than ever we need to be a son to our parents, a husband to our wife, a father to our children, a friend to our friends, and an asset to our parish.
Traditional values need to be commonplace in the twenty first century. In our relationships with family, we need to be more mindful of their needs instead of ours. We need to ask our family members if there is anything they need of us. Sometimes a simple visit, a cup of coffee, a conversation over lunch, or even a text message can be a positive thing that happens in their day and changes their outlook for if only for a moment. This is especially true with family members who are widows, widowers, divorced or experiencing health or mobility issues.
Simply put, it is our duty as Catholic gentlemen to be there for the family which raised us and provided for us in our formative years. In most cases, our family did the best they could with what had to ensure we had what was needed to become adults ourselves. By doing deeds such a these, we ensure genuine familial love is everlasting.
With respect to our friends, perform a “check in” routine with them. I refer to this checking in procedure as a “tune up.” Much like vehicles, routine maintenance is necessary to allow the vehicle to be on the road for as long as possible. I believe tune ups are necessary in friendships as well. Periodically drop your friends a line and catch up with each others lives. Participate in an engaging conversation about everyday life and how their life is going. We can never tell what is going on in someone else’s head. Your friend may be privately struggling through a rough season of their life. It’s quite meaningful when a friend inquires about how life is going. It’s especially gratifying when a friend asks about your faith and your walk with Christ. Meaningful and fruitful conversations such as these will tune up your friendship and guarantee that it is lifelong in nature. If necessary, do not be afraid to go “old school” with your approach.
I have recently attempted to resurrect the tradition of Christmas Cards. While I was a bit late in delivering them last year, my sending them did rekindle a few friendships from the past. This simple act of kindness and yearly interaction is largely forgotten these days. I distinctly remember my parents would display the dozens of Christmas cards we received in the mailbox during the Christmas Season. It was necessary to keep some of our relationships with those who we had lost touch with over time. Christmas cards are also important to be sent to the “shut-ins” within your parish. My parish at Holy Name of Jesus in Henderson, Kentucky encourages parishioners yearly to send several cards to shut ins that can not attend regularly due to health issues. I imagine the thoughtfulness of this simple act is a bright spot in theses parishioners day when they receive these cards. It perfectly embodies the parish family that many parishioners around the globe long for.
These noble actions are all ways to bring traditional masculinity back by a sincere and genuine care for those special people in our“tribe”.
I believe these are just some ways that men of the twenty first century can initiate a resurgence of Catholic masculinity. We have to keep in mind that the next generation of Catholic gentlemen are looking at us to set the example. Our sons are looking at our examples while our daughters are looking to us to set a criteria for traits to look for in their future
husband. In these turbulent times, Catholic masculinity needs to experience a Renaissance in society.
Absolutely! Thanks for a fantastic article.