The Prodigal Father

Everyone is familiar with the Parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Lk 15:11-32.  This parable has fascinated many over the centuries.  But was the son the prodigal or the father, or both?

I was working on an article on the ‘Return of the Prodigal Son’ based on the famous painting by the noted painter Rembrandt when my father passed.  The painting, one of the last ever done by Rembrandt more than four centuries ago, huge in size at 103 inches by 80 inches, hangs in the St Petersberg Museum, Russia.  You can check out images of this painting on the internet.  Even after so many centuries, it speaks to you. It shows an emaciated prodigal son being welcomed by his father. In the background, the elder son and two other figures are seen.  The spotlight is mainly on the barefoot kneeling prodigal son and the patient caring red-robed father, placing both his hands (one is painted as masculine and the other feminine) on the shoulders of the prodigal son.  Scholars say that Rembrandt himself painted his own visage as the prodigal son, many years after he painted his own younger self with his then-wife in a painting titled The Prodigal Son.  The years in between saw Rembrandt touched by the loss of his dear and near ones, fame and fortune deserted him.

This painting has captivated so many over the years, and Fr Henri Nouwen had a life-changing experience encountering a print of this painting, travelled all the way to Russia to spend some time with the original painting, and has written a book, The Return of the Prodigal Son, that makes very good reading.

In the midst of researching and writing this article, my father passed away suddenly.  He had a practice of undergoing regular twice monthly retreats at home, in silence, in his room, based on the Ignatian retreat techniques he had learnt from the Jesuits over the decades by attending retreats in their retreat center on the outskirts of the city.  On going through his extensive retreat notes thereafter, I found that in his retreat undertaken just two weeks before he passed, he writes:

“Lord, I know You will never stop being merciful to me. Your love and loyalty will always

keep me safe.  Only because of the Lord’s kindness and mercy, I am what I am today. His mercy is following me throughout my life.”

My father understood the role of the Lord’s mercy in his life and his life was secure and happy knowing that the Lord’s mercy had given him everything.

I too, am privileged to have had such a father.  I wrote on Facebook, few days after he passed:

Exactly one week ago today, I lost my Dad- my lodestar, my safety net in life. He was the prodigal father – and loved me much more than I ever deserved, giving me everything I ever wanted. Today when I went to the office for the first time, the seat beside me in the car that he used to occupy was vacant, I miss him. Yet, I am thankful to the Almighty for giving me such a wonderful father who stood right by me for so many years through all the ups and downs in life. Dad continues to guide me from up there…

I meant every word expressed.  I have been the prodigal son, many times in my life, but my father was the prodigal father who always welcomed me back and gave me everything I wanted.  Through my father, I can envisage what the Lord must look like.  Truly “The Lord is my Shepherd. There is nothing I shall want.” as Ps 23 says. I never wanted for anything from my earthly father.

After our mother’s death, twenty-eight years earlier- leaving my sisters and me motherless, my father’s right hand became our mother’s tender hand and his left hand the reassuring hand of a father. With prodigal abandon he cared for us, never making us feel the absence of a mother but always strengthening us with the discipline that is fitting for a father.

But am I the prodigal father to my own children as my father was to me? Or do I behave like the elder brother with resentment, anger and unforgiveness when they come back to me after any transgression?  I need to work a lot on myself I realise, I need to be the loving father always.  My earthly father and my heavenly father show me what I must do to become a Prodigal father myself.  Lord, please help me to become a Prodigal father!

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. ’But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate ( Lk 15:20-24).