The Lockdown and the God of Surprises

The present lockdown has obvious consequences which no one needs to remind us of. For me, it is the spiritual solitude that I find rough. My parish priest invited me to his private mass on a day in March and his words to me were, “Don’t get too comfortable with mass. You need to suffer with the rest of the Church.”

Suffering

His words were true to me. I am suffering. Easter hit me particularly hard. However, there is more to our suffering than simply the paranoia of a virus, the economic hardships, and the lack of going to Mass every day as I once did. It is much soul-searching that I need to do at this time. My friends in the cloister of Carmel, my family, and my religious community all reminded me of this. It is time for a pause in a busy world.

As I sit in my home office, I looked up at the ceiling and saw some water damage. I never go into that room in my house. I thought I have a roof problem. I called someone I knew and since work was lacking, he came the next day. I looked around the house and saw things that need care – painting, spring cleaning, reorganizing, among other simple repairs. I thought to myself, was my life that busy that I did not see these things? YES. Before the hardware stores closed, I bought paint and other supplies to carry me through the lockdown. I organize my day around work at home, family, prayer, and calling others to see if they are okay.

But, more importantly, I need to work on myself. This only came to me recently. I remember when I did the Camino in Spain, I left that completely changed and renewed and I spent a lot of time alone. Again, it was the desolation. Watching the Pope alone March 27^th, praying for the entire world also reminded me of the Lord’s solitude and how it helped him. Granted, I am a hermit and I live my life for Christ but that could be reduced to lip service if I only left it at that.

Surprises

It appears nothing is what you expect. As cliché as that sounds, it is. Indeed, God is full of surprises.  As Pope Francis reminded us in a morning meditation, God of Surprises

God, our Father, who always surprises us: the God of surprises . . . because he is a living God, a God who abides in us, a God who moves our heart, a God who is in the Church and walks with us; and he always surprises us on this path. . . . just as he had the creativity to create the world, so he has the creativity to create new things every day.

When I went to Santiago, I was planning on it, but it still surprised me. However, this type of solitude – not being able to do charity work, go to mass, visit with friends, and share meals – takes its toll on a person. But I must believe it is for my good. I cannot comment on society’s good, that is for God.

As for me, I zoom the rosary, stay close to my Catholic community through various means, and do my work. I really want to live the moment. Maybe I was not taking it seriously enough. Maybe I needed to be surprised again. God is someone who surprises and maybe I did not have my extra oil with me as the parable says but he has given us the chance at this time. And that is what I plan to do.