Beauty?
Who defines it?
Who should define it?
How should it be defined?
Every culture has its own interpretation and there is some universal commonality, but can the soul’s eye see without judgment, given our human imperfection, incompleteness. Our judgment cannot be universally perfect, unbiased, unrestrained, as we judge by our perception of outer beauty (and too many times ignore inner beauty).
Imperfection Adds Beauty
Does imperfection not enhance attractiveness and beauty? Cannot imperfection be beautiful in itself? Consider this. Imagine a field of green – symmetrical, flowing, pastured, conforming. Then add weeds – dandelions, just one, then a dozen then hundreds. Add the great, unique human quality of imagination and creativity. See how the yellow flowers enhance what surrounds it, see how its misalignment of height and space adds to beauty via disproportion. Let the mind wander. Let it grow, untethered, without judgment or thought. Just see. Just feel. Feel the air, the coolness or the warmth. Take pleasure in seeing, feeling. You are now on the path to the ‘visions’ of the artist. And you see the Hand of God. Beauty through imperfection.
Imperfection adds beauty. Imperfection highlights the best of ourselves and others, if we know how to see, for how we see, determines what we see. We see an imperfection on an individual, a mole. Do we see the mole? Can we ‘see’ without judging? Do we let it distract us? Or do we see the beauty enhanced by that ‘flaw’? Consider Marilyn Monroe. (It is shameful, many were not concerned about her inner self, her inner torment.) Do we view the whole person, the visible along with the unseen? Can we break out of cultural norms and see the whole? Consider Nathaniel Hawthorne’s complex short story, “The Birth-Mark”, where a husband’s obsession with perfection and perception of beauty, ends in death.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3-4).
Pain
This was supposed to be an interesting essay. Then.
The Season of Joy arrived.
Energy, desires, loss.
Darkness ascends.
Soul’s pain.
This season started off better than most. I actually started reading an essay of daily meditations on Advent by Richard Rohr. Now, when I do find the booklet, the words, at times, just don’t make sense, create no thoughts of faith and hope. I try to create a mental space. Success. Infrequent. I trudge along.
Apparently, my imperfections barely allowed me to create, bring thought to paper. To be still. To listen. To seek that reprieve. Seemingly, unable to find not just the physical time but the mental time to create, imagine. Creation inhibited by my imperfection of mental illness. Failures in responsibilities. Patience, desires lost. The darkness of COVID19, the darkness of the winter, the cold of night, the decreasing personal contact with others. We are all facing it now. It’s magnified in those with any ongoing illness. And I mostly know it will pass. Will pain’s memory as well? Will the emotional anguish cast onto others pass? Will the wounds heal? Will there be scars, visible?
The pain upon the self is one thing, but the stress you embody on those you love and love you is difficult to ignore, accept, undo. The imperfection of my life, will it enhance the beauty of my family and all those with whom I interact?
Why?
Overwhelmed by my imperfections. I ask God why? There is much to say and do, but mind’s limitations, not of anyone’s doing. This was to be such a nice article describing further, the beauty of the difference, of uniqueness. Consider the snowflake. Imagine the stark boredom of the uniformity if every flake the same. Nature’s individual uniqueness is breathtaking. See the raindrop, from a distance, boring, similar, at times, irritating. Imagine, each as a snowflake, each not of a different shape, but each, a kaleidoscope of unique colors. The beauty of difference.
Now many days, I feel the busyness. The pressure of time. And the inability to focus, with my pain of mental illness affecting the family, those who try to love me. And I keep repeating the errors from the mind. I call my psychiatrist for meds, extra meds, practice skills, and techniques and wonder if a glass or two would be more satisfactory. (Can I stop at two?) And count the days until Jan. 2nd.
This pain of imperfection, affecting everyone. Can I find the beauty above, beyond, this anguish? What beauty can be achieved? What purpose can be served? Is it worth the stress placed upon others?
How can I be this:
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago ( Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Can this be:
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me (2 Corinthians 12:9).
This can be! I remember! My work, my service of serving others, by deeds and words – for those who suffer from mental health issues. I have been judging myself in the time frame of human space, the human condition.
Perfection and beauty can be created by those with imperfection. Consider just a few, Mozart, Beethoven, Leonardo de Vinci, Michael Angelo, Van Gogh, etc. Consider, Temple Grandin, Kay Redfield Jamison, Dr. Marsha Linehan, all of whom sufferer from Mental Disabilities and changed a not so small portion of the world.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
May I keep this in my mind always: Can I remember, the impermanence of time and the permanence of eternity and peace that await?
For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust (2 Peter 1:4).
Imperfection Creates Beauty
Imperfection creates beauty. Imperfection from God, from which we must strive not to be perfected but to be better. The creation of the better will follow. And so, Saul’s imperfection became Paul, not complete, but less imperfect.
The way of perfection passes by way of the Cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. Spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification that gradually lead to living in the peace and joy of the Beatitudes:
He who climbs never stops going from beginning to beginning, through beginnings that have no end. He never stops desiring what he already knows (St. Gregory of Nyssa Para. CCC 2015).
His love perfected through this pain?
No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us (1 John 4:12).
And I wonder how? But, maybe not to wonder and ask but just accept.
The more you fight darkness, the more real it becomes to you, and the more you exhaust yourself. But when you turn on the light of awareness, it melts (Anthony DeMello).
