Many adults say today’s children and young adults are the me-generation, the selfie-generation, or the narcissistic-generation. But it is today’s parents that bear the blame for this.
Modern culture has conditioned young people to believe that “everybody deserves a trophy.” As such, many in this age group wrongly assume that they are the most important people of the world.
This is not to say that self-centeredness only affects the younger generation. Humility is something that most everyone thinks they have, but most likely, most of us do not.
Smart Phones and Social Media
Today’s technology has assisted in creating self-centeredness in modern children. Smart phones and social media sites are the biggest cause. Taking non-stop selfies and constantly posting these on social media is either a symptom of a presumptuous, arrogant person, or a person desperate for attention. We should feel sympathy for the second type of individual but the first type of individual is not displaying any kind of humility.
Selfies were not a thing for 20th century society. Photographers used cameras to take pictures of beautiful mountains, famous landmarks, and their friends and family. The photographer never turned the camera around to point at himself or herself.
Yet these days, the photographer frequently puts himself/herself front and center in the photo. The mountain or landmark, or friends and family, are in the background.
After taking a selfie, many modern teens then want to “show off” just how special they are. They make sure everyone can see online their “perfect” life, as they post multiple selfies on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, or YouTube.
And even some adults these days engage in social media bragging.
In previous eras, the only time people would or could send photos and brag about details of their lives was one time a year. At Christmastime, they would mail out their family’s Christmas card-letter detailing their youngsters’ success in sports, their spouse’s terrific job, and their family’s expensive summer vacation trip. These days, bragging about one’s life is a daily act for many.
Parents Overindulge Their Kids
Parents are at fault today for conditioning their youngsters to be more vain than humble. Buying smart phones for their kids and/or giving them unrestricted access to social media is not good parenting. As I pointed out in “Smart Parents Bought Their Kids Dumb Phones,” parents who do not buy smart phones for their youngsters may be seen as mean but they are actually being counter-cultural and loving.
Parents contribute to a lack humility in their kids when they overindulge them. Overindulgent parents condition their sons and daughters to feel they are the center of the universe. Too many 21st century parents buy expensive – and harmful – smart phones for their sons and daughters. But also they spend ridiculous amounts of money on other expensive electronic devices and toys. Gone is the era of a child being content with a doll or football as their one birthday gift.
Occasional indulgences from mom and dad can be fine, as they add joy to their youngsters’ lives. But when going overboard, even coming from a good heart, the parents risk raising kids who have an overblown sense of entitlement and become ungrateful.
Never before have so many American parents spent loads of money to throw extravagant children’s birthday parties. Previous generations would invite their youngster’s friends over for birthday cake and ice cream and perhaps to play a game in the yard. The modern family will go overboard with over the top expenses such as renting inflatable bouncy-houses or hiring professional balloon garland decorators.
Humility Is a Biblical Virtue
The Book of Sirach writes of those who approach God in prayer with humility, recognizing their needs and their dependence upon God for help.
“. . . the Lord is the judge, and with him is no partiality. He will not show partiality in the case of a poor man; and he will listen to the prayer of one who is wronged. He will not ignore the supplication of the fatherless, nor the widow when she pours out her story. He whose service is pleasing to the Lord will be accepted, and his prayer will reach to the clouds. The prayer of the humble pierces the clouds, and he will not be consoled until it reaches the Lord” (Sirach 35:12-17).
Psalms 34:1-4 highlights those who seek help from the Lord while recognizing their own faults and failures:
“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!”
When St. Paul’s was in prison and near the end of his life, he expressed his pleasure with his life and ministry. But he didn’t take the credit.
“At my first defense no one took my part; all deserted me… But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength to proclaim the word fully, that all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil and save me for his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory for ever and ever. Amen” (2 Timothy 4:16-18).
Then we find Jesus Himself in Scripture who tells the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14). The lesson about humility He is trying to get across is that the good things we may experience in life – like wealth, social status, or good health – ultimately came from God. Thus, we should constantly give thanks to the Lord for His goodness.
Teach Children to be Grateful and to Think of Others
Humility does not mean to demean or belittle oneself. It means to recognize who and what we are in the eyes of God and who God is in our life. Humble people recognize that all of their talents and prosperity are God’s gift to them. No one is a “self-made” person. Realizing this fact about us is the essence of humility.
Parents can teach the virtue of humility by fostering in their children a deep sense of gratitude. God and His blessings are the first two for which to be grateful. Youngsters should also express gratitude for all who have been assisting in cultivating their gifts, most notably parents, grandparents, coaches, and teachers.
Furthermore, parents should encourage their children to think of others more and themselves less. Moms and dads model this by talking about what they appreciate and admire in their own adult acquaintances. Then parents can encourage their kids to look for what is noteworthy and admirable about their classmates and teammates too.
Moreover, it is important that parents do not fall for the culture’s erroneous belief that every child needs to be handed a participation trophy for the purpose of not tarnishing his or her self-esteem. Parents should strive to raise well-rounded youth who do not always expect something be given to them and are able to accept defeat humbly and respectfully.
Finally, families can even pray together for humility. Asking the Lord to help all family members grow in this virtue is important. This resource has terrific prayer ideas.
