Our Thirst for God

Barabbas’ Story

Suddenly the metal clang of iron doors, then heavy footsteps. They were coming for him!

The cell door creaked open and two soldiers lifted him from the floor. He screamed as the chains that bound him, cut deeply into flesh and bone, then the manacles were quickly removed, and he was dragged down a darkened hallway. At the end of the corridor, a door was pushed open and the prisoner was tossed into an alley where he lay in a pile beneath a pewter-stained sky.

The man squinted up through one swollen eye and he could see the sandaled feet of the soldiers standing next to him, their calves thick and ripped with cords of muscle. The one nearest, stepped forward and kicked him in the side then spat on him.

“You are free to go now,” he commanded.

The prisoner shook his head trying to process the words. His cracked and bleeding lips moved slowly before finally whispering. “I don’t understand…”

The soldier glared down with disgust. “Another has taken your place.” Then they turned and disappeared through the doorway.

The prisoner pushed himself up from the wet cobbled stone and peered into the heavens. “Why?” he muttered. “I am not worthy of any man’s sacrifice.” Then the one known as Barabbas fell to the dirt and wept.

‘Why’ indeed.

Jesus

Jesus could have chosen to spare himself from a horrific death. In the first century, the Romans had perfected the ‘art’ of crucifixion. It was a slow, agonizing ordeal, intended to strip away all human dignity and send a macabre message of ‘obedience or death’ to all who might oppose them. As God, he understood the horror waiting for him on the cross. And as man, he knew the depth of the unspeakable pain he would suffer.

Why didn’t he save himself?

He could have lifted his body from the nails that bound him and established himself as the ruler of the world. He may have commanded a dazzling light to streak through the clouds, and lightning to split the horizon with a tremendous roar, leaving those around him trembling. The people of Israel had waited for centuries for their Messiah to come. He could have stepped down from the cross and taken the crown awaiting him.

Sacrifice

But instead, he chose to sacrifice his life so we could all be free. He suffered the cross so he could rise again after three days, and we would know everything spoken of by the Prophets, and all he had professed during his ministry was true. With his death, Jesus offered each of us something to hope for beyond this flawed world.

Barabbas likely never understood Christ’s sacrifice. But we know he gave up his life simply because his love for us is infinite. It’s a love so selfless it’s incomprehensible for the human mind to truly fathom.

Saint Augustine once wrote, ‘God thirsts, that we might thirst for him’

Webster defines the term ‘thirst’ as a longing or ardent desire. In Psalms, King David poetically wrote of his personal longing and desire for the Lord. ‘As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you O’ God.’

Each of us has longed for God during moments in our lives when challenges seemed insurmountable, when we were suffering, or when we had lost hope. But to think God the Father thirsts for us, is an amazing, if not humbling concept.

Have you ever thought your transgressions to be so egregious you couldn’t turn to God and seek his will in your life? Have you huddled in the darkness believing you, like Barabbas, were unworthy of his love? In my own life, during times when I have strayed furthest from the path God planned for me, I’ve felt undeserving of his forgiveness.

A feeling of unworthiness of the Father’s love is a human instinct existing since the beginning. In chapter 8 of Luke’s gospel, when Saint Peter suddenly realized Jesus was the Messiah, he fell to his knees and cried out, “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” But Jesus didn’t reject Peter that day. And when Peter denied Him three times prior to his passion on the cross, Jesus returned in the last chapter of John’s gospel to reassure him of his infinite love and forgiveness.

At the beginning of this story, the soldier told Barabbas ‘another’ had taken his place. Over 2000 years ago, Jesus took our place. Though none of us had yet been conceived, he did so willingly because he loves us and has great plans for each of us.

The words in Jeremiah, chapter 29, tell us of God’s love and desire for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope…”

Many of us spend our lives seeking to understand the specific plans God has defined for us. We often follow paths of our own making, before discovering these journeys only lead to disappointment and suffering. The Lord’s plan for my life began to unfold five years ago when I became interested in Catholicism. What began as a mild curiosity evolved into a love for the faith, and I was baptized and confirmed in the Spring of 2016. There is a myriad of reasons why I chose to embrace Catholicism, but the beauty and significance of the Mass is one of them.

One of my most cherished moments in the celebration is when we prepare ourselves for Holy Communion. We kneel before God and repeat the Scripture from Matthew’s gospel.

”Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof.”

These words have always seemed inadequate in expressing the reverence and adoration he deserves. But as I stare up at him on the cross, I know in my own flawed, brokenness, I am able to show, at least for a moment, the adoration and servitude required for the One who created us.

Truly, none of us will ever be worthy of him. But he loves us unconditionally despite our flaws. God thirsts that we may thirst for him.