Musings on Maturity

A couple of years ago, I read a book in which one of the characters, while being interviewed, was posed the question, “When does a girl become a woman?”  I, at the time, decided to answer it this way: “A girl becomes a woman when she is ready to take on the responsibility that comes with being a woman.”  (Never mind the answer the book character gave!)  Then, this past summer, with the new insight that came from going to a faithful Catholic college for 3 years, I chose to tackle this seemingly unimportant little question again, for, though it was far from a pressing concern for me, it seemed to be something that I should have liked to be able to answer well.  Beneath the surface, though, I discovered, lies a deeper question: what is the real meaning of maturity?

There are those who would say that maturity is intrinsically connected to experience, meaning that the older you become, the more mature you are, because through having seen it firsthand you know more of what it means to live.  This argument, however, is flawed, because some people mature at a younger age than others; it can be, to a greater or lesser degree, a very subjective phenomenon.  Therefore, it can be seen that there are some other causes.

Where Maturity Really Begins

First, I would say the basic cause of maturity is receptivity.  The person in question must, first and foremost (just like any one of us should), be predisposed to know and learn about life, himself, and learn most of all from his mistakes.  This predisposition need not even be conscious; it’s more being free from external constraints that would cause him to close himself off, such as the false idea that “I’m fully mature right now!”

In fact, I would say (though being fallible in my own right) that this first step is less a choice and more a lucky draw.  If a person were raised in such an environment of flattery that he was encouraged to think himself and his friends the best and most knowledgeable persons around, regardless of the assets or accomplishments of others (there are many such people) he would be poorly (though, I hasten to point out, not impossibly) disposed to grow in the humility that accompanies maturity.  But, if instead he saw before him examples of good people, who exhibited virtue, particularly this receptivity, themselves (i.e. most families of saints), he would be inclined to imitate their good traits.

Building on this Receptivity

Once the hypothetical man has been confirmed in receptivity, he should then have a background in his life from which to learn.  Depending on his surroundings, he might have mentors or friends who could then teach him about aspects of life in which they were wiser than he, thus helping him in personal growth.  Learning, then, is the second building block of maturity.

This argument, however, invites the question: what if the “Everyman” had no one to teach him?  The conclusion is that he must then begin to learn from within himself.  While that may seem impossible, because he will at first have only his own limited knowledge, what it means in practical terms is that he must expand his initial openness.  From simply benefitting from the understanding that comes to him, he will then have to engage himself personally to obtain further wisdom.  That will come through personal studies, such as those of factual truths, or the events of the past.  Socrates, one of the wisest, once said he knew nothing.

He meant that what he did know was essentially nothing compared to how much there was to know in the world.  One reason for the necessity of learning, then, is to build off the receptive humility from which maturity began, since, from what I myself have seen, it seems hard for those who are truly learning not to empathize with Socrates.  The more one learns, the more one sees that there is to learn.

Why be Mature?

After receptivity, learning, and a growth in humility, maturity has one more element, this being the most important.  What might be some other traits commonly associated with maturity?  Besides humility, kindness and perhaps courageousness might qualify as such.  The common element between all of these is a virtuous quality.

The reason for this shared aspect of righteousness is something that didn’t occur to me the first time I read the book, namely, that the heart of maturity is to become ever nearer to the man or woman God destined one to be from all eternity.  The one Man Who accomplished this perfectly was Christ.  Thus, as we grow in our roles as human beings, whether we are aware of it or not, if we are truly growing, what we are really doing is achieving more and more in our personal imitation of Christ.  That’s why, in this sense, the saints who died at a very young age, such as Dominic Savio, had, in fact, reached full maturity.  They certainly didn’t talk or think like adults, but they had reached the culmination of development in this world that God wished for them, so He brought them home.

At its core, then,  If you asked me the question from the book today, I would say that a girl becomes a woman (or a boy a man—this applies to gents too!) when she is able to admit of her own failings, and willingly seek to improve them.  While I have phrased it here in secular terms, such evolution is at its core a form of growth in the Christian life.  I don’t know what answer to the question I might give in the next 4 years, but I hope to have and retain always my new understanding that Our Lord, the greatest example, is also the beginning and end of all maturity.