![\"Michael](\"https://catholicstand.com/wp-content/uploads/Michael-Lane-perseverance2-480x269.png\")
Manliness. Thanks to websites like the Art of Manliness, Catholic Gentlemen, Whiskey Catholic and many others, the internet is a buzz with discussion of what makes a man a man. What traits, virtues, and abilities must a man exhibit to be considered a true man, and not an adolescent adult? Is he judged by his brothers to have met the agreed upon standard of manhood, or is there a God-given goal on the heights that each man strives to reach? And, most importantly, if he reaches those lofty peaks is he given a \”man card?\” These are all questions that need answering.
In simple chapter and verse, Acts 13:22 says; “And when he had removed him, he raised up David to be their king; of whom he testified and said, ‘I have found in David, the son of Jesse, a man after my heart, who will do all my will.” While this verse clearly states, do God’s will, I find such Biblical quotations, or sentiments, to cause me to lose the trees in the forest. How do I do what I need to do? So, I will pick one virtue each man MUST possess; perseverance.
Why perseverance as a prerequisite for manliness?
Are we not all called to persevere in Christ? We are, but I think there is an aspect of perseverance that is distinctive for manhood. Perseverance implies several other traits of the possessor; fidelity, discipline, strength, courage, and, as Catholic men, trust in God. St. Augustine, in On the Gift of Perseverance, wrote,
For we are speaking of that perseverance whereby one perseveres unto the end, and if this is given, one does persevere unto the end; but if one does not persevere unto the end, it is not given … But since no one has perseverance to the end, many people have it, but none can lose it. For it is not to be feared that perchance when a man has persevered unto the end, some evil will may arise in him, so that he does not persevere unto the end. This gift of God, therefore, may be obtained by prayer, but when it has been given, it cannot be lost by [disobedience].
We elevate and draw strength from the martyrs precisely because they endured their trials unto the end for the sake of Christ and His Church. Something about the consummate survivor, or the man who bears his trials with a smile that stirs the heart. I remember watching Sands of Iwo Jima with my dad, and just being amazed when John Wayne gruffly said, “Saddle up,” and just kept going forward. Some of my favorite book examples of perseverance are the Lord of the Rings. When Lord of the Rings was first published, one critic complained that Tolkien\’s characters are too Romantic and static. However, this is exactly the sort of example men should emulate. Through thick and thin, a man should be upright and steadfast. Men who are not governed by circumstances, but instead rise to meet them. Within this tale is supreme loyalty to friends despite desperate times; loyalty that accepts death rather fleeing from it. Think of the Wiglaf in Beowulf. When all other ‘men’ fled the dragon, leaving Beowulf alone, Wiglaf rebuked them, “…As God is my witness, I would rather my body were robed in the same burning blaze as my gold-giver’s body than go back home bearing arms. This is unthinkable…I well know the things he has done for us deserve better. Should he alone be left exposed to fall in battle?”
Prayer, Obedience, and Fidelity
How does a man achieve such levels of manliness, especially, when a man is confronted with habitual sin, failure, and seemingly insurmountable trials? As St. Augustine said, pray. In years past, I defined my prayer life as a quick, muttered prayer before falling asleep, and a prayer before meals. Usually, the duration and intensity would increase as difficulties increased. This approach in no way cultivated a strong relationship with Christ. I could not persevere in prayer.
Eventually, after I began turning to God first instead of others or distractions, I realized God would not fix my problems, but assist me in learning from them in overcoming them. Prayer and contemplation help us to fix our eyes on Christ and his example. Christ prayed for God\’s will to be done, was obedient unto death, and is faithful to His own forevermore. Prayer can be difficult, but it is the means to gather strength to push forward.
St. Teresa of Avila had this to say when speaking of prayer in her work The Way of Perfection,
Let us now return to those who wish to travel on this road, and will not halt until they reach their goal, which is the place where they can drink of this water of life. As I say, it is most important – all important, indeed – that they should begin well by making an earnest and most determined resolve not to halt until they reach their goal, whatever may come, whatever may happen to them, however hard they may have to labor, whoever may complain of them, whether they reach their goal or die on the road or have no heart to confront the trials which they meet, whether the very world dissolves before them.
St. Ignatius of Antioch in one of his final letters before his martyrdom wrote,
Heed the bishop, that God by heed you, too. My life is a ransom for those who are obedient to the bishop, presbyters, and deacons; and in their company may I obtain my portion! Toil together, wrestle together, run together, suffer together, rest together, rise together…
To my fellow men, we must up lift each other up in Christ, and hold each other to a higher standard than what the world offers, which is no standard at all. Christ guides and strengthens us, but we can also reinforce each other to do God\’s Will. Encourage one another by word and example. No matter how many times you fall down get back up, go to Confession, and just keep going. We admire the men who can persevere precisely because it is so difficult at times to carry on. But, it is not impossible. We should pray for each other that we can honestly echo St. Paul\’s words at the end of our days,
\”I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.\”
© 2013 Michael Lane. All rights reserved.
17 thoughts on “On Manliness: Perseverance”
Michael, very well done. You said, “To my fellow men, we must up lift each other up in Christ, and hold each
other to a higher standard than what the world offers, which is no
standard at all.” AMEN!
Your article reminded me of the Catholic men’s study entitled, “That Man Is You.” My husband has been actively involved for a number of years. It’s a great men’s gathering where men lift one another up and offer one another strength. http://www.paradisusdei.org/index.php/programs/tmiy
God bless you.
Thanks Mike for a great blog post! I agree–perseverance is a good virtue to have. Looking around the culture today, it seems like the unspoken mantra is “If it doesn’t make you feel good, end it and move on.” Like, sometimes I feel like we’re conditioned by the culture to only pursue what feels good rather than endure what doesn’t feel good in order to feel an even better good.
Good thing we’re Catholic…because maybe….just maybe…in the history of our faith, we have some pretty good examples of what that looks like 😉 #PersevereAllTheThings!
Thanks! I agree, the easy path is always put forth as the best path without any consideration for the consequences or benefits.
Beautiful call to virtue. Praying through this post for my 5 and 6 year old sons as I try to anticipate Our Father’s vision of them as men. We women have so many resources directed to us, it is refreshing to read your writings, thank you.
Thank you for your kind words! God bless!
Michael, this is a great article. So glad to see your writing! Please keep it coming. I especially appreciated the part at the end on how men (and women) must support and lift each other up. So many times I’m tempted to think the spiritual journey is one where I must toil and struggle on my own. And yet, I cannot forget that the Lord has give us so many wonderful people to journey and walk with until we have all reach our goal… God bless!
Thanks Rachana!
Why do you limit virtues to either men or women? All Christians should persevere; it doesn’t depend on having a Y chromosome. In my experience, women do this one so much better than men do that I would have labelled it feminine, but for my belief that virtue should not be assigned a gender.
Thank you for your comments both of you! I thought this might be an objection hence why I said “certain aspects.” Perhaps I should have worded that portion differently. In any case, I apologize for the misconception. Of course perseverance in faith is universal to all Christians. And, I see this virtue as important to both genders. However, this virtue is absent from how we define “manliness” in our society today. Just think of the number of ways men are encouraged to pursue instant gratification, avoid self sacrifice, and take the easy path. Perseverance as man versus perseverance as a woman can mean two very different things. Despite overlap in certain areas of life, we face different challenges and those problems that are the same we approach in different manners. Our practice of this virtue can thus be very different. This is not to say one is better than the other but merely a variation in good practice of this virtue. Men need to be remind of the necessity of practicing this virtue. Without it can a man indeed call himself a man? I think not.
Thank you for your comments. I thought this might be an
objection hence why I said “certain aspects.” Perhaps I should have
worded that portion differently. In any case, I apologize for the
misconception. Of course perseverance in faith is universal to all
Christians. And, I see this virtue as important to both genders.
However, this virtue is absent from how we define “manliness” in our
society today. Just think of the number of ways men are encouraged to
pursue instant gratification, avoid self sacrifice, and take the easy
path. Perseverance as a man versus perseverance as a woman can mean two
very different things. Despite overlap in certain areas of life, we face
different challenges and those problems that are the same we approach
in different manners. Our practice of this virtue can thus be very
different. This is not to say one is better than the other but merely a
variation in good practice of this virtue. Men need to be reminded of the
necessity of practicing this virtue. Without it can a man indeed call
himself a man? I think not. How many heroes, both fictional and real, are elevated because they gave up or were unwilling to sacrifice? None. The question embedded here and one to be discussed by men, and among women, is how best to practice this virtue as men after God’s heart.
Women’s perseverance doesn’t matter for family, Church and civilization as much as men’s. The best women can do is offer contingent perseverance in concert with men. An example of this is that in a family with a father and mother who attend Mass at least weekly, the children are likely to continue in the Faith. In a family with a mother who attends and a father who doesn’t, the Children are far less likely to continue in the faith. In a family with a father who attends and a mother who doesn’t, the children are as likely to continue in the faith as when father and mother both attend. Despite decades of feminist propaganda, the fact remains, men are more important, which is why they’re supposed to have primacy in marriage and wives are supposed to be obedient.
I disagree. How about our Mother Mary? I’d say her ‘yes’, faith, and perseverance to the foot of the Cross is extremely important (understatement). I would argue women do not offer contingent strength but perseverance that is fundamental for family, Church, and civilization. There is a saying (I emphasize the sentiment rather than the literal
meaning), a civilization should be judged by the virtue of their women. As for your examples, St. Augustine and his mother St. Monica springs to mind. His mother’s prayers and example were essential to his conversion. What of the saints whose fathers did their best to dissuade them from sanctity? St. Francis or St. Thomas Aquinas?
What of those adults who have fallen away but whose fathers or both parents were devout? Marriage is a partnership of mutual strength and support. How the parents practices their faith in and out of Mass, how the faith is brought into the family’s life, and how they accord themselves in general is what is important. And, as for their impact on the children, the children must accept responsibility for their faith upon coming of age. Their best chances for developing, retaining, and practicing the faith is when both parents work together. Certainly not one going alone regardless of gender. Even if a child identifies with one parent or the other, the other parent still has a role to play that is neither tangential nor irrelevant.
As for the final sentiment, the rest of that verse (Ephesians 5:21-33) should not be ignored. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her…” The purpose of this article (and others to come) was to get men talking to each other. We are in a world where the definition of a man is pathetic. Men must remind one another what makes a true man and seek that goal together.
I would say St Monica’s prayers were answered in St Ambrose. St Francis and St Thomas owe a debt of gratitude to their fathers for making them into masculine men long before they became saints.
Sorry, got cut off when my phone died. I think Mary was probably obedient to her husband. I was referring to Casti Cannubii not Ephesians 5. Eph. 5 is basically impotent at this point as a guide for family life because it has been neutered. Bring it up to demonstrate that a wife is to be submissive and the response is that “yes but the second part shows that a husband is supposed to sacrifice himself, and that means basically a husband needs to be even more submissive to his wife.” It’s reduced to a meaningless equality passage where the husband has no power and the wife has no obligation.
Anyway, it’s a fact that men are more important for civilization. If women are virtuous it’s because men force to be by binding them in marital contracts and enforcing virtue. On their own, women just go with the flow and things deteriorate pretty quickly, see Adam and Eve.
So I think the principle trait of a “true man” is power. He imposes on his environment and controls it or at the very least doesn’t allow it to control him. I think for a “true woman,” as opposed to the majority of females in our civilization, her principle trait is a proactive abdication of power. Women also have a pathetic definition in our society. The two pathetic definitions are tied together. Women have abandoned obedience and embraced a quest for power, and men have abandoned authority and embraced a quest for fun. Authority really isn’t any more fun than obedience, but it comes with a deeper satisfaction for men, same as obedience does for women. The sexes are in it together, but today no one can even posit the idea that women are meant to be obedient to men. Most men certainly don’t believe this and that’s part of the reason they are so pathetic. If women have no obligation to obey, men reason that men have no obligation to lead.
I do hope you aren’t married. If by some mischance you deceived a woman into contracting as your dimwitted doormat, I will pray for her.
Pingback: Origins of Mandatory Private Confession in the Church - BigPulpit.com
Excellent article Michael. I agree, this world has no standards whatsoever and perseverance is one of the traits of a Godly man. One of the problems I see is that the world defines a man based on his marriage and family. In a real way, we are hostages waiting on a permanent home – where no man is given in marriage.