“How does swearing make you feel?” This was the unexpected question I was asked as hundreds of pounds of weights quivered over my head.
Back in my college days I enjoyed hitting the weight room – a place of unique sights and sounds. Quite often the sounds included “agricultural language” as an old Iowan friend refers to it. And I found myself falling into the habit of uttering colorful words during the course of a workout as well.
Willie – a good and disciplined Christian – was spotting me that day and thought my set at the bench was a good opportunity for philosophical discussion. He was rightfully offended that I was taking the Lord’s name in vain – and he called me out on it. But Willie sensed I was doing it more out of habit than mean-spiritedness, so he called me out gently. “How does swearing make you feel?”
It took precious little reflection to come to the answer, “not great.” Oh sure, swearing might make us feel powerful, or puffed up, or energized in the moment – but when you dig down to the root of it, there’s no joy in swearing.
So, why is it that dirty little four-letter words are becoming socially acceptable in a whole new way?
Our Present Moment
I don’t know exactly when it was (perhaps you, dear reader, have an insight to share in the comments), but at some point in recent years the f-word (and its extended family) seemed to gain new prominence and acceptability in media.
The pattern may have begun during the hellish summer of 2020 (an appropriate use of a 4-letter word), or earlier, but in 2022 it seems all verbal restraint has been cast aside.
The dirty little words are delivered with a wide range of expression. In writing they can be au naturelle, or spelled with a few strategic !@#% characters, or embedded in acronyms. In speech, they might be spoken outright, or “bleeped” with just enough of the offensive little bugger spilling over so that it is still planted in our mind.
The Serious Business of Language
Language is a pretty big deal. As far as daily life goes, it’s right up there, next to breathing.
For one thing it separates us from the animals. And it can be used for good, or evil.
But why God invented language is a question worthy of meditation. He doesn’t need language; He is pure being itself. And yet, the second Person of the Trinity is The Word. Hmmm.
Language isn’t mandatory to tell a lie (all who have sexual intercourse out of wedlock are lying to one another, whether words are spoken or not), but it is certainly the method of choice for distorting the truth. Just look at the slippery-tongued serpent in the garden.
Language is also the medium by which the “spirit of the world” works through collectives to hatch plans of stupendous evil. Such was the case of Babel, and such is the case of our agenda-driven mainstream media.
So we need to be very careful of language; both what we express and receive.
St. Paul puts it plainly, “No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29). And Jesus tells us, “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, unchastity, theft, false witness, blasphemy” (Matthew 15:18).
Jesus gets to the heart of the issue, which is the connection between language and our interior life, and the need to protect our purity.
Taking an Example from Scripture
The entirety of the human drama is contained in Sacred Scripture. Love, loss, betrayal, triumph, every bit of it. And this includes violence and sexual impropriety galore. Most every base and depraved impulse a human is capable of is accounted for, particularly in the Old Testament.
But do you know what is missing in scripture? Lurid detail. In the words of my old music teacher – the writers of scripture didn’t burlesque the drama, they played it straight and understated.
Consider the infamous fall from grace in the life of King David:
“One evening David rose from his bed and strolled about on the roof of the king’s house. From the roof he saw a woman bathing; she was very beautiful. David sent people to inquire about the woman and was told, “She is Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam, and wife of Uriah the Hittite, Joab’s armor-bearer.” Then David sent messengers and took her. When she came to him, he took her to bed, at a time when she was just purified after her period; and she returned to her house” (2 Samuel, 11:2-4).
Imagine if these scenes were written by a Hollywood screen writer!
It could be argued that this is just the literary style of the time and place when scripture was written. But I suggest God knew exactly what He was doing. He inspired scripture to serve His divine purposes – and that included protecting the minds of readers from lurid details. God desires to maintain our purity even as we encounter the realities of the fallen world.
Wisdom from the Desert
The desert has always been a source of purification for the Church. As an account of this, St. John Cassian chronicled his time with the Desert Fathers in writing “The Institutes” and “The Conferences.”
In Chapter Two of “The Conferences,” Cassian converses with desert father, Abbot Moses, who notes that all of man’s endeavors involve effort and sacrifice directed toward a specific end goal. He says “The farmer, shunning neither at one time the scorching heat of the sun, nor at another the frost and cold, cleaves the earth unweariedly . . . to secure a good harvest, and a large crop.”
Then he adds, “And our profession too has its own goal and end, for which we undergo all sorts of toils not merely without weariness but actually with delight.”
As St. John Cassian explains (Chapter 3) the “goal and end” is to attain the kingdom of heaven. But Abbot Moses then says that the end goal of heaven is too far off, too remote. Men need something closer and more tangible to aim for on a daily basis, he says.
What is that daily goal? Purity of mind and heart.
Abbot Moses warns us that our wandering minds must be carefully guarded, otherwise they fix on those things which come to it from the outside and are “constantly changed” by those things. We must choose wisely.
Speaking of Father Stu
The movie Father Stu made quite a splash when it came out earlier this year. Mark Walburg, Mel Gibson, and all involved deserve credit for taking a shot at a mainstream movie with a decidedly pro-Catholic story line.
Reviews were predictably lackluster, but popular opinion was high and, perhaps most surprising, the box office returns were respectable. The one often-repeated criticism of the R-rated movie was about the heavy use of vulgarity (crass and obscene words), profanity (taking the Lord’s name in vain), violence, and sexual content.
But here’s the big question: was the language and sexuality necessary to make the movie authentic, believable, and relatable? Or, did it cross the line of sensationalism to generate sales?
I’m not saying it’s a small matter to keep a movie about a character like Fr. Stu clean. Recall my opening anecdote of working out with Willie. If that were a movie scene it would require footage of my potty-mouth for it to make sense. But – and this is the thing – my potty-mouth wouldn’t have to be the showcase. There are plenty of ways to finesse it. Curse words don’t have to be repeated again and again. That bit could happen once and then be implied off-screen. And so on.
What’s Next?
This is the real challenge for people making faith-based films – to use their God-given talents of story-telling, acting, directing and production to find ways to tell real-life stories, without dragging the audience through the gutter.
There are some recent examples that set a high bar such as The Book Thief and A Hidden Life. For that matter, Mel Gibson did a fair job of toning down sex and language in Hacksaw Ridge.
Perhaps the makers of Father Stu are getting the message. They recently re-released a PG-13 version of the movie. My expectation is that it will still have more foul language, violence, and gratuitous sexual innuendo than most people would want to share with their children. But it is a step in the right direction.
The real measure of the Father Stu movie isn’t the Father Stu movie. The real measure is the next movie these people make. Will they learn the lesson and strive for realism without sacrificing purity? Or will they double down and play to people’s base instincts in the hope of selling tickets the easy way?
In Closing
I don’t know exactly why 2022 has brought a bumper crop of foul language. But I do know that maintaining purity of mind and heart is a key to growing in holiness, and that only Satan is dancing a jig to the four-lettered serenade.
I wish everyone could hear Willie ask that question – “how does swearing make you feel?” In fact, we can do Willie one better and ask a slightly different question, “how do you think it makes God feel?”
25 thoughts on “Maintaining Purity in a Father Stu World”
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As the Angelic Doctor, St. Thomas Aquinas notes, “grace does not destroy nature, but perfects it.” A film is lost on its audience if it’s characters are not believable, especially when they are asked to step outside their comfort zone in viewing it. Thankfully authenticity (aided by competent acting) is not lacking in the film. I think the film does over-compensate a bit in the excessive use of coarse language (and use of the Lord’s name in vain), which can be jarring and unnecessary at times to those with more sensitive consciences. Again, this isn’t the type of movie you would watch on Formed, and it’s R rating is appropriate. If you can look past these callouses, the underlying story of God making smooth stones with coarse rock has a redemptive and inspiring element that those of us with sinful pasts can well relate to.
Every sinner has a past, something we as Catholics sometimes forget–what it’s like to sit in the back pew like a publican, not knowing when to sit and when to stand, offending others with our ignorance; what it’s like to stumble while trying to find our footing after being washed clean in the waters of baptism…in essence, when we “become good” (by grace), we can sometimes get–well, religiously uppity.
Father Stu as a film has the potential to bring “good” Catholics back down to the gritty earth, while also inspiring those ignorant of the faith to look beyond the porcelain veneer of two dimensional church-goers and unrelateable clergy. At the heart of the universal salvation story present in Father Stu is the meaty center of what it means to be a fallen man ransomed and redeemed, transformed by the gift of suffering, and called by God into the vocation prepared for him.
Hi Rob –
Thanks for your comments – and I believe I did read your thoughtful review after the movie came out.
Here are my two main points:
God wrote scripture without all the explicit sexualization (plenty in Fr. Stu), violence (ditto) and language (ditto). Did God make a mistake? If God were writing scripture now, do you think He’d feel the need to change His approach so that he could “bring ‘good’ Catholics back down to the gritty earth and inspire the ignorant”?
For other genres of film creators are willing to bend over backward to help us suspend our disbelief. But suddenly they are the dumbest people in the room when it comes to avoiding sex, violence and vulgarity (“we don’t know how we’d ever get anyone to believe a character who doesn’t ooze sleaze and vulgarity”). At a minimum it’s pure laziness. But, really, it’s something else – the thinly-veiled hunger for smut and vulgarity.
My reference to the need for purity as exemplified by the Desert Fathers wasn’t just for color commentary. Interior purity is foundational – I repeat, foundational – for growth in holiness. When you look at the classic spiritual masters, none of them compromise on that.
Now – regarding what I believe are your two key points – that to an extent the sleaze/smut is justified because (1) it’s useful to bring “good” Catholics back to gritty earth and (2) it will inspire those ignorant of the faith.
I respectfully disagree with both.
Regarding #1: if you stick someone’s nose in dog droppings once, never again do they need it thus stuck – they understand for life that it is putrid. A good Catholic doesn’t have to get dragged through the gutter to appreciate a “gritty” character. And once you get those words and images in your brain they are there for life, brother. Next time someone goes by a baptismal font they’ll envision Marky Mark stripping off his shirt. Not spiritually helpful. This is why St. Paul exhorts us to turn our minds only to what is just, pure, lovely, gracious, etc (Phil 4:8). I know some would argue that Fr. Stu’s sexualization and cussing are “pure and lovely” in a gritty way. I would pay good money to see them have that conversation with St. Paul.
Regarding #2: my response to this is the same as my #2 above. Christian Hollywood should strive to be creative! Find ways to tell the story of the redemption of a gritty life without the smut and vulgarity – that’s why they get the big bucks….
All that said, I appreciate your review and I love the underlying story of redemption. I love that they didn’t shy away from a truly Catholic character. I’m just challenging them to grow.
God bless –
Steve
I was put off, but not scandalized, by the language in Fr. Stu. There’s a lot of redemption in the film though if you are open to it. My review:
https://fatherofthefamily.blogspot.com/2022/04/review-father-stu.html?m=1
You captured what I experienced. I was put off but not scandalized as well. I’ve heard worse and I’ve heard better language. I don’t talk like the gutter stuff I hear, but I understand the culture we live in and the lack of moral background for a lot of people.
Like I said in my own comment, if we’re going to watch someone dragged out of the garbage and washed off we’re going to have to see the garbage”.
Steve, I would not compare.the word of God with the movie. They are completely different as you know. One is God inspired and gives grace. The other is a story of one man’s conversion from a great sinner to a holy priest.
The story of Sodom and Gomorrah, King David, and the Song of Songs (which is erotic, even in the most “sanitized” “translations”) give examples of the reality of human sin and degradation (excepting the Song of Songs).
While the movie is much more explicit (and sometimes needlessly so) it is not Scripture but shows us how God does work in the story of one man’s conversion and striving toward holiness.
I can attest that there were “conversions” after a few people saw the movie, these folks mentioned the movie as being a reminder of their sins and went to be reconciled to God and the Church in the Sacrament of Repentance.
Dear Fr. Khouri –
Thank you for your comments.
I do appreciate the movie has inspired conversions. Praise God!
But I stand by my assessment that I will judge Father Stu on the next movie that is made.
I have to think it is very difficult for movie creators to resist sex, profanity and violence. Those things sell tickets. And a movie like Father Stu gives the tantalizing prospect of having your cake and eating it too. In effect, “we can pile on the sex/profanity/violence, because we justify it by making it a conversion story.”
If the next movie sticks to that recipe, or even dials it up – then I my assessment will be that Father Stu was a lost opportunity and the movie makers decided to go down the “ends justify the means” rabbit hole.
If, on the other hand, they decide to try to “push the envelope” in the opposite direction – seeking creative ways to tone down the sex/profanity/violence while still making a gripping and successful movie – then I will judge the enterprise a success.
I personally believe there’s plenty of room to make a movie that is “clean” and can still connect with people who are mired in very fallen situations. Fr. Corapi (may our merciful Lord continue to heal and protect him) would sometimes share anecdotes from his early life – depicting situations of sex, drugs and violence on a par with anything else out there. Fr. Corapi never gave lurid details, never used profanity, but he would deliver the stories with such gravitas that there was no mistaking what was going on and what was at stake.
I do appreciate the unique position of Sacred Scripture – but it’s not clear to me that it is “completely different” from movies – or more to the point, why it shouldn’t Scripture be a guidepost for artistic endeavors? Jesus Christ certainly has an exalted position above humanity, but nevertheless He is our model of human behavior. Why shouldn’t the Word be a model of artistic expression? The Song of Songs is a great example that the Divine Author is perfectly willing to enter into the most intimate details of humanity. There’s nothing prudish about it. And yet it is chaste. It reminds me of the old saw that I don’t know where the line is drawn between art and pornography but I know that no wife ever left her husband because he spent too much time at the art gallery. It seems to me that Scripture shows us how to stay on the right side of the line.
My bottom line – it’s always easy to find reasons to aim low. Father Stu broke new ground, and that is laudable. But there’s plenty of room for the next movie to aim higher. And I think we can all agree it will be lamentable if it aims lower.
Truly I am thrilled that people came to you seeking reconciliation with God. Let’s pray for more good movies and more good Priests to keep that going.
Thank you for all that you do to serve our Lord –
Steve
Captcrisis, This has already been pointed out to you but I’ll say it again, Mr. Biden and his friends have continued the culture of death in the United States with their support for abortion and the transsexual assault on themselves, teens and children with the sickening mutilation of their bodies and their shoving their filth into our faces daily. You may support that, you may not. But if you do you are certainly against Jesus Christ and His Church. I hope you rethink your alignment with these perverse ideas.
Fr. John
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I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and probably knew every foul word by kindergarten – neither of my parents ever used foul language – I learned to talk that way on the streets. 50 years later, I never imagined I could ever change, but I did, overnight! After I confessed my sins to a Priest. I was cured instantly.
Thank you for that, Victor – an awesome and inspiring testimony to the power of God.
“ . . .it’s rich that the man who ushered in the age of celebrating sodomy would use it as an insult. “
The age of sodomy, as well as murder, perjury, covetousness, atheism, theft, and adultery are as old as the world. As to your apt remarks on open and accepted vulgarity, they are the product of rage and anger, the age of Kali or quarrel. When it goes away, it will return unless we get our act together – golden age -then like Daniel’s feet of clay dream the whole play begins anew. Why we live in this world that bubbles up these vile vices like clockwork is the real mystery and like any thing beyond human understanding all we can do is ying when the times yang. It does get old.
Yes, Papist – the ups and downs of the world will be with us until the 2nd coming (unless you buy into Millenarism…). But I hope for Catholics to continue to rise above those choppy seas – as St. Paul put it (perhaps his advancement of the yin/yang proposal) – to be in the world but not of it. It is a difficult but truly noble challenge.
Yes, Steve, I do subscribe to a melding of religions in the next 500 – 1000 years. The 2nd
coming is just too many light years away.
I’ve spent many hours in the weight room myself, both before Seminary, while in Seminary and during my 41 years as a Priest. I’ve also spent time with cops and as chaplain for our firefighters and doing jail ministry. I’ve been to countless meetings with Friends of Bill W. and taught in a Catholic High School. I’ve heard and participated in some really bad language. I’ve also been in a men’s prayer group where we focused on the Liturgy of the Hours and Scripture, as well as visiting Monasteries.
You can be assured that the prayer group and Monasteries were far more peaceful and joyful than the other groups.
I look at the movie Fr. Stu as a realist. Garbage exists in our world. It’s good to see a human being get dragged out of it and washed clean. A film that didn’t show the garbage would have not been a true and inspirational story.
Sometimes a weight room or a locker room stinks. It makes me very glad to be out of it. When I was doing jail ministry in Santa Barbara I’d take drive up a hill near the 101 Freeway, park, enter the jail and check in, then ride elevator down to the cells and chow hall area to celebrate Mass for the inmates. It wasn’t pleasant in there. It stank, the place was loud and it was usually too hot or too cold. There were two experiences there that would always lift me up, however. One was the Consecration at Mass with the accompanying silence of the men in attendance and the other was the moment I walked out of the jail on the top of that hill overlooking Santa Barbara, Goleta and the Ocean. My own memories of being a drunk would flash by and other memories of being in the jail of my own sins would hit me, along with the beautiful breeze and the magnificence of God’s creation and it would usually being me near to tears at the mercy of God and of His beautiful creation and my freedom as one of His sons.
Dear Fr. John –
Thank you for your comments and intriguing snippets of your story.
You have a great way with words – “Garbage exists in our world. It’s good to see a human being get dragged out of it and washed clean. ” I’d love to see you as a screenwriter for their next movie …
And thank you for your service to our Lord – Steve
Although it is a well written article, carrying a lot of good points in the assessment of cussing, it seems that it lacks an important fact about the Fr Stu movie/story: how it ends! The movie/story is about hope for the hopeless. It is about the power of love and God’s incredible mercy. It’s about change. The movie depicts “real” life. Life to which the vast majority of youth are exposed no matter how much caution parents take these days. What I got out of the movie/story was refreshment from discouragement: “Nothing is impossible for God”!
I clicked “like” on this and to make sure I clicked “like” again. It took the “like” away and it won’t come back. So, this is me saying I like what you wrote.
Thanks!
Hi John –
Thanks for your comment. I couldn’t agree more about the over-arching message of the movie.
My main point is that I would like to see them use their creative powers to find a way to maintain the dramatic ark of going from death to resurrection without having to drag us through the gutter. I know that’s not easy, but the Divine author of Scripture pulled it off. Or, as you put it so well – “nothing is impossible for God”!
God bless –
Steve
https://theweek.com/articles/875118/cursing-president
The change in acceptance of profanity was made by Donald Trump. The linked article talks about his habit of using the Lord’s name in vain. Other writers on this site have called his coarse language “refreshing”. Fortunately Democrats have resisted going this route.
Blaming Donald Trump for the change in acceptance of profanity misses the mark. The acceptance of profanity has loong left it’s smelly leavings in public long before I even heard of Donald Trump. After 41 years as a Priest I’ve heard a lot of people with much worse language, including Bishops, Priests Religious, moms and dads and grandparents. Donald Trump was evidence that it had reached national acceptance, but blaming Trump for this is like blaming Jimmy Swaggart for the “Reformation”. Too late and not strong enough in it’s despicableness.
Donald Trump did not make it acceptable. No other politician, and certainly no other president, was so crude and immature in his insults and language. And it did not turn off any of his supporters — certainly it did not cause concern among any of the writers on this site. With Biden we have a mature man in office again who uses clean and adult language.
Hi Capt’
The point of the article is that something changed in 2022. Not 2016, 17, 18, 19, or 20. This past year, 2022, two years post-Trump, I’m getting emails, reading blog posts, and hearing politicians and celebrities drop the f-word (among others) like never before.
Biden has a notorious potty mouth. I don’t hear a choir of lefties calling him out. Here was just the other day talking about his age, “You think I don’t know how f—ing old I am?” Did Trump make him do that?
Here’s a story on Biden referencing Politico – they find Biden’s foul language “endearing” – “ As for Biden, Politico reported that some staffers ‘find Biden’s foul mouth endearing — a part of his everyman appeal that made him president. One former aide noted that’s true just as long as you’re not on the receiving end of it.’”
https://nypost.com/2021/10/22/biden-regularly-drops-f-bomb-and-uses-profanity/
Have you seen the emails/texts between his wife and Hunter? Makes Trump sound like Jane Austin. I know those weren’t in the public sphere, but it reveals a certain frame of mind.
And Obama was as bad as anyone. But he was “erudite and sophisticated” so it made it OK. Remember him talking about tea-partiers – “what do they call themselves, tea baggers?” As I understand it that is a slang for someone who engages in sodomy. On a side note, it’s rich that the man who ushered in the age of celebrating sodomy would use it as an insult.
The other main point of my article is that we should not take the easy way out. Swearing is a cheap and easy way to play on emotions, get shock value, etc.
You know what else is an easy way out? Blaming the hellish state of our country on Trump, rather than our collective flight from God. You know whose actions (some say they speak louder than words and tweets) are leading straight down the off-ramp from heaven? Biden.
Back to the theme of the article – I have always found your comments well written and steering clear of personal attacks and I commend you on that!
Advent blessings –
Steve
Yeah, Crisis, the Democrats have certainly taken the high road with their murdering babies and slicing up children’s genitals in the name of an idiotic trans agenda. Our current leader, a man clearly in league with Satan, merely reflects the stupidity and hatred of those who put him in office. Please give me Trump back!