Keeping the Sabbath Wholly Holy

Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it. (Exodus 20:8-11)

How is Sunday, our Sabbath day, different from any other day of the week in our homes?

Is it an extra day of unfinished office work and emails, a race from one child’s soccer game to another, a mother’s continuous taxi service, one long planning and cooking period for the week ahead, a multi-faceted session of laundry, ironing, floor-scrubbing, and window-washing, a losing battle against weeds and watering, with a slapdash hour at Mass to fulfill the obligation? Or do we truly rest as the Lord commanded? Is that even possible?

Yes, and not only is it possible, as this pandemic has hopefully taught us, it is necessary.

Once Upon a Time

In generations past, the Sabbath was an entire day devoted to God and rest. Cooking was done the day before. All chores were completed. All bread had been baked. All fields had been plowed. All shops were closed. All factories were quiet.

During the 1950s and ’60s, when I was young, it was still common for my playmates and me to be required to stay home with our families on Sunday. Our parents didn’t permit us to play at one another’s homes; this was strictly family time. No one went anywhere (other than a relative’s home for dinner) because the shops, as always, were closed. It was the Sabbath.

After morning Mass (there was no Saturday vigil), there was a mid-day meal together, perhaps with additional relatives, followed by family activities.

Reading. Board games. Long walks. Writing letters. Playing the piano and singing together. Hobbies done together. (Model airplane kits and jigsaw puzzles were favorites.) A touch football game in the backyard. Shooting hoops (my brothers and I would play “horse”) or tossing around the baseball.

Supper was light, typically leftovers from dinner. Afterward, there might be a family TV show enjoyed together (In my childhood, it was Ed Sullivan) or a family long-distance phone call to grandma (on our only landline phone). In warm seasons, we might sit together on the cool concrete of the front porch, watch the fireflies come out, and identify the stars. Then quietly, we all went to bed.

There would also be additional prayer time. Bible reading and discussion. Stations of the Cross during Lent. Family Rosary.

While we were not as strict as the nearby Amish or the local Orthodox Jews (whom we still see walking to the synagogue on Saturday mornings), we made the Sabbath holy in a whole way. Sunday was a day completely set aside. Because of this, it was the day when extended conversations could be had, and deep thinking could be done. It was a shared family experience that cemented relationships, instituted traditions, and honored the familial bond between us.

The Sabbath Was Made For Us

While this pandemic has caused great suffering and loss, it has also brought the gift of family intimacy. Because we were stuck at home together, we learned how to stick together once again. More families not only broke bread around the table together, but they also made the bread itself with the starter they grew and nourished.

We must continue this closeness by reclaiming the Sabbath. That is why God created it—not for Him, but for us (Mark 2:27). It will take effort and purposeful dedication on all members of the family, but it must be done. A “wholly holy” Sabbath will have an immeasurable positive impact upon our families, now and in the future. It truly is the answer to the brokenness and violence we see in society today. St. Pope John Paul II said it best: “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and the whole world in which we live.” All families, no matter how they are made, will benefit.

Tips For Keeping a Wholly Holy Sabbath

How can you begin to create a “wholly holy” Sabbath for your family?

1. Have a family meeting and choose the Sunday start date. Discuss what this will entail for all family members and why it’s so important that we do what God commanded of us for our benefit.
2. If children are signed up for athletics or activities on Sundays, let the coaches/teachers know that they will only participate on the other six days of the week, but not on Sunday. In the future, do not sign your kids up for activities that require Sunday participation. (Note to all bishops: You have it in your power to stop CYO sports from scheduling games/meets on Sundays. Archbishop Vigneron of the Detroit Archdiocese did just that in 2019.) This act alone will show your kids where your family’s priorities are.
3. Make sure to do all of your shopping before Sunday.
4. Let friends and family members know that all electronic equipment (phones, computers, interactive video games, televisions) will be off for the day. Turn off all phones at bedtime on Saturday night, and plug them into a remote room for Sunday, not to be retrieved until Monday morning.
5. Prepare for the family activities which you will enjoy on your “wholly holy” Sabbath. Does everyone want to play corn hole? Do you need a new jigsaw puzzle? Is there a model that everyone would like to put together? Does the basketball need to be pumped up? Is there an audiobook that the entire family would enjoy?
6. Make final plans on Saturday for the excellent mid-day meal that your family will have together on Sunday. If dessert needs to be made ahead of time, have each family member take a turn in preparing it. Similarly, family members can vote on the menu for Sunday and assist in making the main dishes ahead of time.
7. On Sunday morning, have everyone get up early to make his or her bed and get dressed for Mass. Sunday is your family’s special day, so you want to start it right. Have breakfast together, saying grace as a family, and review the readings for the Mass. Be sure to arrive at Mass 15 minutes early so that your family can sit together and prepare themselves for the Eucharistic celebration.
8. After Mass, take a few moments to pray in your pew. Then thank Father on your way out and chat with friends before going home.
9. Finish preparations for your family Sabbath meal. Provide aprons for all ages (as silly as it may sound) so that everyone involved can continue to wear their nice clothes and not get dirty. Wearing an apron also says that the wearer has an important task and is part of a team. Have the kids set the table (this video provides an informative and quite fancy lesson on the fork, knife, and spoon placements and use), the good dishes, and napkins. Ask one child to provide a table decoration—anything from fresh flowers out of the garden to a homemade work of art. Put candles on the table, and have a child light them. Wash up, hang up your aprons, and sit down at the table, again asking one child to lead all in grace.
10. The Sabbath dinner is an excellent opportunity to practice table manners and common etiquette: serving others first. (“Could you pass the potatoes when you are done, please?” “Would anyone like more corn soufflé before I put it down?” “Does anyone else want more water while I’m up?”) Emphasize slow and enjoyable eating, putting the fork down often, and engaging in amicable conversation. No one should be excused until everyone is done. Have everyone help to clear the table and do the dishes. No one should leave the kitchen until all of the tasks are done.
11. Have everyone change out of their Sunday clothes, and then let the games begin. You will find the kids are eager to play with Mom and Dad and work together to complete an enjoyable task. Kids can pair off to play a game together, but no one should be left out. Everyone should know and see what the others are doing and join in if they wish. The family can travel to a park to take a walk or do a specialized activity together (e.g., a Frisbee course or the outdoor ice rink), but the key is that the activity must be done together as a family.
12. Gather for the evening meal, which should be leftovers and very simple. Again, share conversations about the day and practice serving one another. Then choose an evening activity—again, all together. This would be a good time for a family Rosary or Bible reading and discussion. While I stated earlier that there should be no electronics, an excellent exception would be for the family, depending upon the ages of your kids, to watch an episode of Veggie Tales, The Chosen, Ascension Presents programs, EWTN Saints films or, any of the Bible Timeline studies.
13. Before going to bed, gather to say a prayer of thanksgiving to God for a wonderful Sabbath and ask for His protection for the week ahead.

Conclusion

Once you begin your “wholly holy” Sabbath routine, you will find that your kids will look forward to it, and its positive effects will spread to other days of the week. Our family began to have regular family movie nights through the week in which my mother would suggest an old movie for all of us to watch. Because of this, our kids are familiar with all of the great classic films of the 1930’-1950’s and share them with their kids today. Similarly, we keep communal jigsaw puzzles going in our living rooms so that, at any time, family members or visitors can draw up a chair and put in some pieces.

God knew what He was doing when He prescribed the tenets of the Sabbath. It is we prideful people, acting as our own gods, who strayed from keeping this holy day. And it is our families and our children who have suffered dearly for it. Keep holy the Sabbath for the benefit of your whole family and for yourself.

God bless.

“And only when they made a holy day for God did they find they had made a holiday for men.” (G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy)