Fixing Us First

Many people possess a profusion of plans for “fixing” the Church, the government, the economy, and other folks. But rarely do we give priority to fixing us first. This requires our response to God’s grace, to be willing to look in the mirror, spiritually speaking. Then, based on what we see, we must accept the fact that we ourselves have many ”spiritual growth opportunities”. Those spiritual growth opportunities inevitably comprise bad habits we should replace with good habits.

All Feedback Is Good

But, the process of identifying and owning our bad habits can be painful to bear.  In the secular consulting work I’ve done, we’ve often had to dispense some sort of “bad” news to a client. This involved sharing negative feedback from information we’d gathered.

In much the same way, when we spiritually open up to God’s illuminating grace, we’ll get feedback from Him. We might consider some of it as negative. But all feedback is good. Unless we stop and take stock, how will we know what we ought to do differently?

We’re All Legends in Our Own Minds

Of course, we may believe that we’re “good” people and that we’re fine just as we are. After all, as we hear from the ambo when we attend Mass, “God loves us.” He does indeed love us. We are all loved sinners. We need His mercy, which He’s only too willing to give us, if and when we repent. But He calls us to be more than “good” people:

You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Mt 5:48).

Being perfect as the heavenly Father is perfect—isn’t that impossible for a finite human being? What this means is doing His will, obeying His commandments. It means loving one another as He loves us, to be merciful as He is merciful to us.

Distractions to Avoid Fixing Us First

Today we have an overabundance of excuses to avoid looking in the spiritual mirror. We can find all too many ways to hide from the hard work of growing in virtue and eliminating sinful habits. Just think of all of the various news feeds available online—both secular and faith-oriented. Bad news generally drives reader clicks. Does it have that effect on us? Reading and sharing daily “breaking” news items will waste as much time as we have available if we let it.

On top of that, after sharing the bad news of the day, conversation inevitably follows, even if it’s only via chat groups. How much time does each one of us spend chasing the information, and then sharing and discussing it? How much mental and spiritual drain do we incur pondering matters over which we have virtually no control or influence?

Let’s consider what the psalmist tells us:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. ²But I have calmed and quieted my soul…(Psalm 131:1-2).

Good advice! Avoid distractions that take us away from our pursuit of the narrow way.

Fixing Others?

We may spend some part of our day generating ideas for how others can improve. We might be all too prone to point out others’ faults and failings. And don’t think that this bad habit is something with which only “other” people struggle. At one time, God even confronted St. Catherine of Siena, now a Doctor of the Church, about a sinful habit of judging others’ souls! What about the rest of us?

Christ Himself tells us to focus on fixing us first:

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Mt 7:3)

Consider, as well, what St. John of the Cross has to say in his degrees of perfection:

“Pay no attention to the affairs of others, whether they be good or bad, for besides the danger of sin, this is a cause of distractions and lack of spirit.”

A cause of distractions, indeed! Distractions from paying attention to fixing us first, to doing our part to respond to God’s call to holiness.

Acedia and Fixing Us First

St. Thomas Aquinas discusses acedia, (sloth), in his Summa (ST, II, II, 35) A daughter of acedia is a sense of restlessness which can be an obstruction to the peace God wishes to give us. It will keep us from focusing on the spiritual work we must do to grow in holiness. Some possible manifestations include:

• Talkativeness – being long-winded, babbling, gabby, jabbering, verbose in expression.
• Excessive curiosity – pursuing information we really don’t need to know—we can surf social media and search engines for hours on end, on things that, although not sinful per se, take us from God. And even if the matter is spiritual in nature, we may not really have a need to know it.
• Inability to settle down – a sense of not being able to peacefully spend some quiet time—to be in solitude—with Our Lord for mental prayer. And in that mental prayer, or relational prayer, not being still and listening to the Lord.

Avoiding the Divine Physician

We may be holding God at arm’s length because we don’t want to face some wound from our past. Thus, we take advantage of things that distract us from that. We avoid facing the issue, even though He is the Divine Physician and He wants to heal us.

It doesn’t matter what our reasons are for substituting time wasters for God time. He doesn’t want us on a treadmill of distractions. He wants a deeper relationship with us—and desires that we spend some of our time with Him every day. Are we disposing ourselves to His graces? Are we allowing Him to heal us?

Pray for Grace and Knowledge

To better focus on fixing us first, we may wish to reflect on some advice from Bl. Columba Marmion, OSB:

Those who do not feel, who do not see their misery, do not know the need they have of grace…

Here, a few broad suggestions come to mind. First, we must beg the Lord for grace and then be open to Him. We need to pray for the Holy Spirit to stir up His Gift of Knowledge in us. With that, if we are attentive, we’ll better know the state of our own souls.

We will, as Bl. Columba says, better see our misery and need for God’s grace. We’ll understand where He wants to help fix us—those sinful habits, imperfections and attachments that represent obstacles to His grace in us. None of us probably has far to look for a few opportunities.

Cooperate with Grace

We can begin to more rigorously monitor our behaviors. Based on this monitoring, we can we can make a realistic plan to get back on track. For example, we may need to change the way we see and think about other people. Or, we might need to cut back on time spent pursuing pointless information. We could devote the time this frees up to focusing on a stronger relationship with God.

Once we understand where He wants us to focus, we can make resolutions, conduct daily examens, and enlist others’ support. Engaging an accountability partner, spouse, friend, confessor or spiritual director can help keep us on track.  We’re the only ones we can really change. So, with God’s grace, let us focus on doing the hard work of fixing us first.

Brief indeed is our time for loving, for giving, for making atonement. It would be very wrong, therefore, for us to waste it, or to cast this treasure irresponsibly overboard. We mustn’t squander this period of the world’s history which God has entrusted to each one of us (St. Josemaría Escrivá).