Do Not Look for an Uber Christ

Stories our elders tell us are often meant to be instructive.  Such was the case with a story a neighbor once told me.

When I was a boy, an elderly neighbor told me a story about when he was a boy.  He said his mother or father would drive him to school every morning.  After school he would either walk or take the bus back home.  His story, however, centered on the morning drives to school.

Many times when he was being driven to school in the morning by one of his parents, they would see a classmate of his walking to school.  They often thought about stopping and offering him a ride, but they knew his parents had ordered him never to accept rides from anyone.  Not wanting to offend or cause the boy to disobey his parents, my neighbor and his parents would just drive on by without stopping.

My neighbor told me he always felt awkward about this.  He said it contradicted what his parents had always taught him.  “Be kind and charitable to others” they would tell him.  Yet, here they were intentionally avoiding such kindness out of a fear of causing more harm than good.

Snow Day

Finally, one very snowy day, my neighbor and his father were driving to school when they saw that classmate struggling through the snow.  Moved even more than usual, they stopped and offered him a ride.  As they did this, they both braced for the decline they expected to come.  Sure enough, the classmate shyly shook his head no, only uttering “My Mom said not to” and kept walking.

Suddenly, my neighbor told me, he felt an impulse to do something unexpected.  Turning to his father, he asked his Dad to stop the car and let him out so he could walk with the classmate through the snow.  His father was surprised and confused at first.  “Why would you want to walk to school when I can drive you?” he asked.  My neighbor did not respond, but only looked at the classmate trudging through the mounds of snow.  With that, his father realized that his son had truly taken their teaching about being kind and charitable to heart.  Smiling, he stopped the car and let his son out.

The classmate was shocked to see my neighbor join him in his walk through the snow, but began to smile as they walked together.  After that day, my neighbor would walk to school with that classmate once or twice a week, and more often when the weather was nice.  They eventually became friends, but drifted apart after graduation.  Still, on the two or three times their paths crossed again, they reminisced about that silent kindness in the snow.

Many Layers with Many Lessons

On the surface, we will each see this story as a reminder to do unto others as you would like done unto you.  Who would not want someone to turn lonely walks into accompanied trips to school?  Dig a little deeper, and we see a reminder that true charity cares enough to respect the integrity and preference of the ones we want to help.

We have probably all seen many examples of hungry, homeless, and sick people being “helped” according to the standards and preferences of the one doing the helping.  But as my uncle used to say, force feeding meat to a hungry vegetarian is not really that charitable at all.  It is one thing to want to help someone, but it is quite another to take the time, effort, and love to do so in a way that respects the dignity, person, and preferences of the one being helped.

Jesus exhibits that kind of loving service which respects our free will and preference.  He always sees our needs and distress and gently offers his hand to us.  But he will never force us or impose over our free will to respond and accept his help.

Obliviousness or Pride

My neighbor and his father hesitated and decided not to even offer help for a long time because they did not want to offend anyone or cause the boy to disobey his parents.  Their reason for hesitating to help the boy was certainly a caring and noble one.  But another reason for not offering the boy a ride was a desire to avoid a decline or rejection from the boy.

At the same time, many people may be so oblivious to the needs of others that it does not even dawn on them to offer a helping hand. Yet, there are others who may realize the opportunity to offer such a hand but hesitate because they do not want to be rejected or brushed aside.  Perhaps this desire to avoid rejection stems from our pride.

But if we are honest about it, both the oblivious and the proud do not offer a caring hand because they are too immersed in themselves to care, to love enough, and to risk enough.  However,  Jesus taught us that true charity and love expects much more from us than simply being too wrapped in ourselves to sincerely care and make a difference.

It is only when our love and concern for others is so great that it overrides our focus on ourselves that we draw closer to fulfilling our destiny of emulating Christ.  We grow in that destiny when we brush aside those concerns and hesitations, accept and embrace that risk of rejection, and go beyond our comfort zone.

The Ultimate and Core Lesson

While all of the above lessons are worthy ones, there is one transcendent lesson in my neighbor’s childhood snow adventure.  Too many times, we see service as offering people an escape from their pain, struggles, tears, and discomfort.  Very often, we fancy ourselves knights in shining armor who ride in to sweep the suffering person away from their pain.  Ultimately, the Christ we seek is one who will do the same for us.

All too often, the Christ we seek is one who will drive in, open the door to a warm, comfortable car on a frigid, snowy day, and break us away from the cold.  Not surprisingly, given this view of our Christ, we too convince ourselves that emulating Him means being that caring Uber driver who picks up cold passengers.

Whether we realize it or not, we may measure Christ’s help in terms of how well he rescues us from our tears. Perhaps we may also measure the Lord’s help by how well and how quickly he turns those tears of sorrow to smiles.  All too often, we want to evaluate our Eternal Uber Driver after his latest assistance, ready to give him five stars only if he has brought us in out of the cold.  Is this distorted view not reflected in the way we pray and what we pray for?

However, is that what Christ truly is or means to us?  Is this an accurate and truthful reflection of Christ, who is Truth itself?  Could it be, instead, that this warped way of seeing what Christ is or should be in our lives is merely a reflection of our own misguided perspective?

Accompaniment

If we look deeper into the Gospels and Christ’s words and example, He does not sweep in to scoop us up from the crosses of our lives.  Rather, He joins us in those crosses, walking alongside us with each measured step through the storms of this life.

Given that, we should not expect to find Christ in some warm rescue vehicle ready to bail us out of our troubles. After all, he does not help and mentor us by helping us take the nearest exit.  He did not come down to us to bail us out. Instead, He offers us a ladder to climb up to him.

Christ teaches us that true loving service means getting out of a warm place to accompany a cold person reach their destination. It means walking a mile in someone’s pain instead of judging and categorizing that pain at our convenience.  It means actions over words and walking the walk.

So the next time you find yourself struggling in a storm, uncertain of both the journey and your fate, do not look for Christ to arrive in a warm rescue vehicle. Instead look for him right next to you, for he will be there accompanying you on your journey.