An Introduction to an Advent Journey With Mary

This December, a series of daily Advent, devotional postings will run from December 1st to December 25^th. Journey beside Mary, the Mother of God, as she waits for the birth of Jesus. let’s learn to wait with Mary.

Wait?

Nuns, nuns, nuns. I was obsessed. Nuns! That was all I could think about. I was filled with eagerness, anticipation, and zeal. In my free time, I would spend hours looking up different orders of religious women, waiting for one to stand out to me. I prayed fervently, begging God to reveal my vocation to me.

This was my freshmen year in college. A couple of years previous, I had already discerned with one religious order known as the Poor Clares. Though I discerned that I was not called to be with the Poor Clares, I was still fascinated by every aspect of religious life when I got to college. To some, this fascination may have sounded like an obvious call from the Lord.

Perhaps but the problem was that I was not finding peace, joy, or clarity during my extensive research and multiple discernment retreats. Instead, things were cloudy, confusing and I felt anxious. Another thing that I felt was urgency. I needed my answers immediately so that I could act on them immediately!

Now, another factor that played into all of this obsessive nun research was that I have Scrupulosity OCD. Scrupulosity OCD is like a religious/moral form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Those with this mental illness have a series of obsessive thoughts that result in compulsory behavior. Usually driven by guilt, scrupulosity can cause one to believe that one’s thoughts, words, and actions must be perfect! Of course, only Jesus is perfect, but OCD doesn’t care. Instead, it insists that if everything is not done with 100% effort, then it is not worth anything at all.

Anyway, for this nun obsession of mine, the obsessive thoughts revolved around needing to find the perfect religious order that would make me 100% happy and holy. The compulsions included excessive research, extensive prayer, and unreasonable discernment activities.

As you can see, OCD sure demands a lot. But that’s the thing: it’s OCD’s demands and not God’s.
I brought up my vocation troubles with a nun (on one of my discernment retreats…). I told her about my desperation to find the right religious order and the need to know what I was called to do.

She then suggested to me, “What if you just learned to wait? You know, Mary, the Mother of God had to wait for her son to be born. Ask her to help you wait.”

I stared at her and blinked. Wait. Did she just say “wait?”

Learn to Wait With Mary

“Or maybe…” she continued, thoughtfulness rising in her expression, “Since Advent is coming up, you could make it your special task this Advent to learn to wait with Mary.”

With this suggestion and the nudging of the Holy Spirit, it became clear to me that I indeed needed a “discernment break.” Yes, discerning one’s vocation in life is good and necessary, but I was overdoing it. My spiritual director agreed: it’s possible to overdo discernment. Another mentor of mine said, “You don’t want to make any big decisions when things feel cloudy and confusing. If you’re called to be a religious, you want to do it with a clear, resound ‘yes!’ Not an anxious, desperate, ‘I think so.’”

Then, with the help of my spiritual mentors, I began my discernment break. I stopped researching religious orders, stopped planning my future in my head (tried to, at least), and stopped demanding that Jesus give me my answer right away. I stopped.

And I waited.

Now, as I mentioned earlier, I have OCD. We OCD people really like to go full out with tasks that we are given. Remember the 100% effort that I mentioned? Well, I quickly decided that for my Advent discernment break, I was going to make it a whole retreat; a written journey that I could record and look back at; an interactive journey beside Mary as she waited for the birth of Christ. I felt eager and inspired by the Holy Spirit to write down my thoughts during my Advent retreat and to note my meditations and prayers that I made beside Mary.

I completed my first Advent journey beside Mary in December of 2016.

I journeyed again with the same writings, renewing my journey and going deeper during the Advent of 2017.

For my third Advent journey, waiting with Mary for 2018, I started sharing my updated and revised manuscript so others could go on this awesome journey too!

I now go on this journey every year. Embark on it with me for 2021!

You may be thinking, “I don’t have OCD,” or “I’m not obsessed with nuns. I don’t need to take a discernment break.”

Perhaps your mental health is in great condition. Perhaps you are already married or you’re a priest or consecrated, and therefore know what your vocation is. Nevertheless, more waiting comes for each and every one of us. In our world of instant gratification, patience is rare. Yet, patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Mary is the perfect one to help us attain patience. After all, she is the spouse of the Holy Spirit, the Mother of Jesus, and the daughter of the King.

This retreat begins on December 1st and ends on December 25th. Though the first Sunday of Advent may begin before or after December 1st, (this year it begins on December 2nd), the date changes every year. For my convenience of going on this journey for multiple years, I am keeping it an easy cut 25 days for December.

Now, so you know what to expect from this journey:

The greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God will all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30; emphasis added). Each day of this journey, we will be focusing on these four aspects of our love for God, as noted in Scripture:

Strength: Nourishment for the soul. This is our inspiration and food to give us the ability to love with our heart, mind, and soul.  Our spiritual food can be found in Sacred Scripture, the writings of the saints, reflective songs, and reflection questions. During your daily reflections, feel free to omit any parts that you don’t want to do or don’t have time for, such as skipping the reflective song suggestions!

Mind: Meditation. We use the gift of our mind, senses, and imagination as we place ourselves in the same disposition of Mary. Disclaimer: all meditations found in this manuscript are inspired by historical and biblical events, but are in no way factual! These are works of creative fiction!

Heart: We connect what we discover about Mary to our own daily lives and our own personal journey of waiting. This is our application and concrete method for loving the Lord as we wait.

Soul: We have to pray if we are imitating Mary. This is our time to converse with God, uniting our souls to Him.

Alright, then! Are you ready to wait? Mark your calendars as your journey begins December 1st. Don’t worry, we’ll have some fun with it. We can do this! Remember who we are journeying with…
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Mary, teach me how to wait.