Writing While Trusting in the Generosity of God

As I type out these words on this feast of St. Stephen, I do so with much gratitude and amazement. It is my twenty-fourth article for Catholic Stand since I began as a monthly columnist in January 2019. In this noisy world of ours – many times more cacophonous than harmonic – this may not seem like such a big deal in our world today. Yet – I believe it is one of the talents which has been entrusted to me by God and there must be a reason why this is so.

I do not recall exactly how I stumbled upon the Catholic Stand website. I may have been preparing an outline for a recollection talk or something, but what is clear to me, even to this day, is seeing the little advertisement on the side of the webpage with the following words: “Is the Holy Spirit calling you? Consider writing with Catholic Stand.” I remember reading those words and feeling a stirring of sorts deep within. It was the divine nudge I did not realize I had been waiting for.

Just Happy to be Here!

Everything about my experience as a writer has been a little step of faith, although I have to confess that they feel more like life-altering leaps most of the time. Reaching out to Catholic Stand’s editor, Melanie Jean Juneau, at the end of November 2018 and submitting a writing sample were scary moments for me. I cannot speak for everyone else, but I know that rejection is not a favourite experience for me and I did not know what to expect. My late Christmas present a few weeks later: to be welcomed to Catholic Stand as a columnist.

Even as I was overjoyed at the opportunity to write about my faith, I was also filled with the growing dread of figuring out what to write about…every month. My extremely active imagination has been both a source of creative inspiration – a definite blessing! — and the unfortunate source which feeds my easily worried mind – a telling sign of a greater need for me to trust in divine providence. I had to calm my nerves and halt this useless exercise of anxiety. After all, what did I have to be worried about if I trusted my father God?

Writing from My Place in the World

A long time ago, I learned one very important thing as a writer: I have to write about things I know. My writing has always been an important part of who I am because, in many ways, it is as if I have laid out my heart, mind, and soul on paper (or a web page, for that matter) when I express myself. This is especially true in writing about my faith. I cannot do so as well otherwise. I know I am neither a scholarly theologian nor a wise academic, but if God has put this burning need for the written expression in my heart, it is because the voice of a wife and mother, a daughter, sister, and friend, also needs to be heard as much as those who are much more learned than I.

So, in these past nearly 2 years, I have written about my experiences and realizations as a wife of over a quarter of a century, a mother of twelve, a home cook who cannot resist feeding anyone who is hungry, and a grateful friend – all in the light of a daughter of God. In doing so, I have found myself simply in awe of the many blessings I have received, many times without realizing or fully appreciating it at the moment. There is so much for which to be thankful and overjoyed. I did not set out to write for myself, but time and time again, whatever I have written helps me better understand and love God’s will for me.

My editor and fellow Catholic Stand columnist expressed it well in her last article:

If Catholic writers want to be effective agents of change, addressing large issues like world peace, abortion, and the state of the Church with articles which will touch hearts and move secular mountains, we have to break out of our Church microcosm and listen to the rumblings in the world and in the wider Body of Christ.

Most of all, we must become in sync with God and with what He wants to do in and through us. It is time to start writing like children of God, people who only write what their Heavenly Father tells them to write. Only then will our words be imbued with power, the kind of power which will actually affect hearts and stimulate action. (Melanie Jean Juneau, “Catholic Writers Can be Dead Right”, December 2, 2020)

I could never have done any of this if I did not do it with much recourse to prayer and in light of my faith and divine filiation. It is the same with one of the most important parts of my vocation: my family.

By the Grace of God

When I told my husband I was working on my new article, he suggested I write about the generosity of God at Christmas. He almost never tells me what to do – yup, super blessed, and do not know how I deserve this good man! – so of course I listened to him and realized it is quite timely to write exactly about what he suggested. All of what we have and do is a reality simply because of God’s generosity. He can never be outdone by anyone.

St. Josemaria Escriva wrote:

“Let me assure you, it’s something which I have touched with my own hands and seen with my own eyes, that, if you trust in God’s Providence, if you abandon yourselves in his all-powerful arms, you will never lack the means to serve God, his Holy Church and the souls of men; and this without having to neglect any of your duties. You will then rejoice in the joy and peace which…possessing all the goods of the world cannot give” (Friends of God, no. 117).

This is true: indeed, in the time my husband and I have been married, from the beginning and through the years as we continue to raise our family, we have been blessed with joy and peace which the world and all its goods cannot ever give. We do not simply exist. As a family, we have thrived in God’s love and providence, not because we are better than anyone else. As a mother, I understand so much more how it is possible to love one child as much as my poor, human heart can and still do the same for every single one of my children. It is humbling to be entrusted with so many souls and to realize that my motherly love is a mere reflection (flawed and distorted at that) of God’s own love for each of His children. We thrive by no other merit or reason than the grace of our heavenly Father.

“Can a woman forget her sucking child,

    that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget,

    yet I will not forget you.

Behold, I have graven you on the palms of my hands;

    your walls are continually before me.” (Isaiah 49:15-16)

Just Happy to be Here, Too

That this Christmas has been different for many is an understatement. The starkest difference, perhaps, is the absence of our celebration of the Holy Mass and receiving our Lord in the Eucharist, especially at this time of the year. Some of us in our family were blessed to have been able to receive Jesus in a Communion Service on Christmas day. Still, we have sorely felt the lack of coming together for the Holy Mass in the church and as a community. Yet, Christmas eve and morning were divine reminders of God’s boundless generosity.

We would never describe our household as a quiet one. It is normally noisy, at times boisterously so, and always full of life. At certain moments in these past days, I stood still in the midst of the conversations and laughter, the eating, drinking, and playing, and took in these sights and sounds. In doing so, I was reminded of what our Lord said: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:20) God has never abandoned us, even as I have so easily pushed Him aside many times over in favour of other “more important” things. I was interiorly overjoyed and grateful for God’s gift of my domestic church.

Joy Begins Where God Is

There was a big box store advertisement which ran in the weeks leading up to Christmas with the tagline, “Joy begins here.” The “spirit of the season” had been translated into the buying and getting as many possible cool gifts which would make everyone’s Christmas happier. The irony of this and every other Christmas ad is the glaring absence of the real reason for this feast. Archbishop Thomas Cardinal Collins of Toronto made the point of saying “Christmas” as “Christ”-mas, with an emphasis on Christ. To remove Him from the true meaning of Christmas is to reduce this time – literally – to “happy holidays”, the much-favoured greeting of retailers and those who are afraid to offend non-believers.

If there is one thing I have learned in life, whether it is to do with writing, marriage, being a mother, or anything at all, it is this: taking God out of the picture always amounts to anxiety, unhappiness, and a gnawing sense that what I am doing lacks meaning and purpose. Pandemic or not, our heavenly Father remains ever-present in our lives. As difficult as it is for we who may choose to see first in order to believe – whether we realize it or not – it is in trusting in His divine providence and mercifully filial love that we can find joy in this life we live on earth. Those who have faith in Him have always been rewarded. Even those of us who may not have been as faithful as we should, have been blessed with so much more than we may be aware of.

Every day, every moment, every opportunity to do something good – to do God’s will – is a gift. I end this article, dear reader, wishing and praying that in this coming new year, you may have the gift of insight to appreciate that with which God has blessed you and the gift of trust in Him, Who will never leave you alone.