When We’re Not Chosen

After Jesus chose his apostles from among His disciples, I have to wonder, what about the ones who weren’t chosen?  What did they do? What do we do when we’re not chosen?

The Disciples Who Were Not Chosen

We know our Lord had many disciples.  At one point, He sends out seventy-two.  There were others who were close to him: His good friend, Lazarus, and Lazarus’s sisters Mary and Martha.  There was Zaccheus who experienced as profound a conversion as any of the ones chosen.  There was the centurion whose faith surpassed all in Israel (Matthew 8:5-13); surely he would have been a good candidate.  And what about those women who seemed to have been the means behind the mission (Luke 8:1 – 3)? Many others were healed and cured by Him; so many were touched by his words and undoubtedly wanted to go with Him. But none of these were chosen.

Most of us are not chosen at some point. It may be a promotion or scholarship we don’t get; an artistic career that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere; even a relationship that breaks up.  We can have the feeling that God is passing us by.  Why?  Of course, God is trying to tell us something; He always is.  But what?

What Is God Telling Us?

Maybe He wants us to take a hard look at ourselves.  As the saying goes, “You win some, you learn some.” Any coach will tell you that you learn more from your losses than your wins. Are we working hard enough? Are we willing to sacrifice enough? Is our work good enough?  We know that five of those chosen – Peter, Andrew, James, John, and Matthew – walked away from their professions (and, at least in Matthew’s case, a lucrative profession) to follow Jesus. We have to remember those “would be” followers of Jesus in Luke 8:57 – 59.  They weren’t willing to give enough.  And then there is the rich young man (Luke 18:18 – 23); whatever became of him? In our world of “everyone’s a winner,” being passed over maybe the first honest assessment many of us receive, the first real “gut check.”  Are we humble enough to learn from it?

If the notion that “everyone’s a winner” is false, it is also false that “you can be whatever you want.” You can’t. Certain jobs, certain vocations, require certain skills and aptitudes which we don’t all have. Many parents seem bent on their children going to certain colleges and going into certain professions – usually high-profile, lucrative ones – when it seems clear that the child’s talents lie elsewhere, and he or she would be a much better (and happier) mechanic or teacher.  It takes a great deal of humility, a great deal of holiness, to accept one’s limitations.

Not Yet

God may also be saying, “Not yet.” We know the names of two of those our Lord didn’t choose that time – Joseph, called Barsabbas, who was surnamed Justus, and Matthias. It was from these two that a successor to Judas was chosen (Acts 1; !2 -21, and again Justus didn’t make it!)  They didn’t say “sour grapes” after that first time and thank goodness for it. Is God asking us for that resilience to stay with Him even when life seems to be going nowhere?  (How often in our prayer does the “Aha!” moments come after long periods of dryness?)

Something Else

Being passed over could also mean God is saying “I have something else – something better – in mind.”  Refusals can be an act of kindness on God’s part. (Any good parent knows that.)  Being told “Not this way” can be helpful when “this way” would only lead to trouble.  Just because many weren’t chosen doesn’t mean they weren’t good enough; it just means that they weren’t the right ones for that mission.  Remember, our Lord did not choose His own mother, the holiest creature who ever lived. To be passed over or rejected in one area or for one job, may be God’s way of saying, “No, your talents are not there; I need you elsewhere.”  Remember, St. Francis of Assisi – St. Francis of Assisi – was NOT called to be a priest.  Not everyone is a CEO, not everyone is a pastor or a bishop, not everyone is a department chair, a courtroom lawyer.  A symphony would sound pretty weird without the harmony.  We all have our niche and how often have the saints warned us about ambition?   I can tell you from twenty-five years of teaching that there are several different kinds of teaching.  It takes a special person to teach grade school, another to teach middle school, another to teach high school, and another to teach in college.  Each is different, but each is equally valuable.

Passed Over

It can be so easy, when we’re passed over, to let resentment and cynicism creep into our hearts.  We don’t like being “put in our place.”  That’s pride.  It leads to tearing down others and criticizing.   How poisonous this is to ourselves and others.  If you notice that list of the apostles, the last one chosen was Judas Iscariot.  We assume he was put last because he was “the one who betrayed Christ.”  It also may be simply because he was the last one chosen.  Did he resent that? Is that when he started to get a chip on his shoulder?  The first one who refused to accept his place was Lucifer, and he seems to spend a lot of time making us resent the place we have because that leads to acrimony and envy.

Holiness

As another saying goes, holiness has nothing to do with the place we occupy but is all about how we occupy that place.  We need to ask ourselves: am I seeking success or sanctity?  Remember that man in the country of the Gerasenes from whom our Lord drove out the demons? He wanted to follow our Lord, but Jesus told him, “Return to your home and declare how much God has done for you” (Luke 8:39).

St. Francis de Sales said, “Be what you are and be that well.”  Or as St. Josemaria put it more brusquely, “How you long to be extraordinary.  The problem with such an ambition is how very vulgar it is.”  This is something to consider when we pray “lead us not into temptation.” It reminds me of that scene from A Man for All Seasons, when the ambitious Richard Rich is asking Thomas More for a place at court and More advises him to be a teacher, saying he would be a good teacher, maybe even a great one. “If I was, who would know?” asks Rich. The saint responds, “You, your pupils, your friends, God.  Not a bad public, that.” What public are we seeking?

Ordinary?

None of this should be taken as a call to mediocrity or “settling for second place.”  We should strive to be the best we can be at what we do.  The early Church did grow by the preaching of the apostles, but it also grew by the example of the ordinary lives of those who weren’t apostles.  I know my faith has grown by the lives and examples of priests, parents, teachers, handymen, and housewives who will never make it onto a stained-glass window here but who I am sure are shining bright in Heaven.

Contentment is such a rare virtue in this “American Idol” world in which we live.  It comes from letting our Lord lead us, where He will and when He will.  It is perhaps best expressed in this prayer by St. John Henry Newman:

God has created me to do Him some definite service.  He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.  I have my mission.  I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next.  I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.  He has not created me for naught.  I shall do good; I shall do His work.  I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.  Therefore, I will trust Him.  Whatever I am, I cannot be thrown away.  If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him.  If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.  He does nothing in vain.  He knows what He is about.  He may take away my friends.  He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me.  Still, He knows what He is about. 

On second thought, I suppose we all are chosen. We just need to let God do the choosing.