Striving for Perfect Patience

As I was meditating on Jesus’ miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper something into my heart. By this, I simply mean that God was reminding me of a virtue that took place in this miracle, a virtue that I have been striving to possess: the virtue of patience.

First, let us look at this miracle found in Sacred Scripture.

“The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.’ People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place. People saw them leaving and many came to know about it. They hastened there on foot from all the towns and arrived at the place before them. When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. By now it was already late and his disciples approached him and said, ‘This is a deserted place and it is already very late. Dismiss them so that they can go to the surrounding farms and villages and buy themselves something to eat.’ He said to them in reply, ‘Give them some food yourselves.’ But they said to him, ‘Are we to buy two hundred days’ wages worth of food and give it to them to eat?’ He asked them, ‘How many loaves do you have? Go and see.’ And when they had found out they said, ‘Five loaves and two fish.’ So he gave orders to have them sit down in groups on the green grass. The people took their places in rows by hundreds and by fifties. Then, taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to (his) disciples to set before the people; he also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied. And they picked up twelve wicker baskets full of fragments and what was left of the fish. Those who ate (of the loaves) were five thousand men.” Mark 6:30-44

As I was thinking about the five thousand people that were fed, I kept thinking about that five thousandth person. He had to wait and watch everyone else receive their fill until he was fed. Since he was not the first, I can only imagine how, seeing everyone eat before him, his hunger began to increase and doubt might even have started to creep in. Maybe he wondered if there would be enough food for him. Maybe God’s plan didn’t make sense to Him. Everyone was getting fed before him. But why? He was probably way in the back, the last person in the last row, but note that he came for Jesus just the same. He came to hear his Word, to be fed spiritually and physically, and to be transformed. However, the beautiful thing is that Jesus did not forget him. Jesus’ merciful and loving Sacred Heart was moved with pity for him, and, thus, he was fed after much patience.

Reflecting on this scripture taught me a very important lesson. I realized how sometimes when we see people receive something “before” us when we have been praying for that very specific thing for years, whether it is a job or relationship, God sometimes makes us wait to let us grow in virtue. And it might very well be the virtue of patience.

I know firsthand that many times I can be impatient, so my heart went out to that five thousandth person listening to Jesus preach and how Jesus felt the hunger that person felt. But he was the last person for a reason. I am reminded of another important Scripture passage:

“’Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.’” Matthew 20:16

So, I encourage you, in those little quiet moments when your heart is irking for change in your life, to pray a prayer of submission to God’s Holy Will. For God is always thinking of you, and He always has the best plans for you in mind. Remember, He thought of that five thousandth person even though, in fact, five thousand people needed to be fed for that one meal. This miracle just goes to show how much He loves and takes care of each one us if only we have the heart to trust in Him at all times and in all our days.