Selfishness or Selflessness: What Do Your Actions Reveal?

Selfishness or selflessness? Are you clinging to something–money, possessions, time, talents…? What you are too tightly hanging onto can reveal a lot about your spiritual life. It can speak to to temptations to sin and to your need for cultivation of a virtue or two.  

Self-Love–Selfishness with Money and Possessions

Self-love is the inordinate regard for self to the neglect of others and indifference of their needs (Modern Catholic Dictionary). This self-love will show up in what you are hanging onto at the expense of others. It may show up if you are hanging onto material possessions—money and stuff—while being close-fisted with those in need.  In other words, are you parsimonious? It’s a word you don’t hear much anymore, but the condition to which it applies is as common as ever.

Self-Love–Selfishness with Time

Or, in self-love, you may find that you are hanging onto your time in an overly possessive way. This leads to not being available to others. Even if you are available to others, you may not be truly present to them in the moment. Time is one commodity that we cannot retrieve when it’s gone. You won’t get the opportunity to be present to someone in their need in the moment, once that moment has passed. 

Self-Love–Selfishness with Your Talents

For those and other moments, the Lord has endowed you–each of us–with some charism or charisms—special gifts to use in building up the Church. Do you know what your charisms are? If you do, are you letting the Holy Spirit guide you in your deployment of them for God’s greater glory? Or are you burying them like the third servant entrusted with the talent by the man going on a journey? (cf. Mathew 25:14-30)  You may cite one or more reasons for not using these charisms. But with God’s will, there always is a way–you just need to embrace it.

Scripture Speaks Against Selfishness and for Selflessness

God’s will for you is to avoid sin and practice virtue in order to join Him for eternity after this life. To that end, Scripture cautions against sins of greed and selfishness. Consider just a handful here:

“‘Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.’” Lk 12:15

“Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves.” Phil 2:3

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have…” Heb 13:5

At the same time, Scripture calls for living virtuously, generously and charitably:

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Cor 9:7

“They are to do good, to be rich in good deeds, liberal and generous,” 1 Tim 6:18

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” 1 Cor 10:24

On the one hand, Jesus tells us in John 13:34 that we are to love one another as He has loved us–selflessly. On the other hand, being tight-fisted with anything we have constitutes a sin.

The Capital Sin of Avarice and Selfishness

St. Thomas Aquinas defines avarice—or covetousness—a capital sin, as “immoderate love of possessing.” (ST II-II, Q. 118, art. 1) Possessing things, including money is not inherently bad. Rather, the immoderate love of possessing them is bad. (cf. 1 Tim 6:10) At the very least, it can lead to selfishness, or “insensitivity to mercy” at the neglect of others’ needs. At its worst, it might lead to treachery, fraud or other serious sins against justice and charity.

Does Your Stuff Own You?

To repeat, having possessions is not bad in and of itself. The real question is whether the money and stuff you own possess you, or whether you possess the money and things that the money has bought. Looking to St. Ignatius of Loyola’s First Principle and Foundation might help here:

“Human beings are created to praise, reverence and serve God our Lord, and by means of doing this to save their souls. The other things on the face of the earth are created for the human beings, to help them in the pursuit of the end for which they are created…we ought to use these things to the extent that they help us toward our end…To attain this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things…we ought not to seek health rather than sickness, wealth rather than poverty…Rather, we ought to desire and choose only that which is more conducive to the end for which we are created.” (The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, G. E. Ganss, SJ, trans., [23])

Do you prioritize what you have and how you use it for the greater glory of God, or for something else?

Countering Selfishness with Liberality

If your priorities are misaligned, what is it that you’re hanging onto?  Where is the selfishness that’s blocking God’s grace in you? Is it money, is it time, not using your God-given charisms, or…? Another way of looking at this is asking what keeps you awake at night? What are you worried most about losing or losing control of? Take it to prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand what it is, as well as to help you overcome it. 

After you’ve prayed about it, how can you behave in a way that replaces selfishness with selflessness? According to St. Thomas, the virtue of liberality counters avarice. You’ll manifest this virtue through freely giving to others–more specifically, freely giving financially to others. Essentially, this covers what we refer to as corporal works of mercy.

Go Big or Go Home

But why stop there? Cultivating the virtue of generosity as St. Albert the Great (St. Thomas’s teacher) defines it, leads to freely giving not only money, but “spiritual benefits” as well. St. Albert lists these benefits as a willingness to listen to others, to proclaim the Gospel, to explain the teachings of the Church, and to provide wise counsel. In other words, generosity includes not only the corporal works of mercy, but also the spiritual works of mercy.

And while you’re working at building virtues, consider also magnificence. This virtue involves the practice of undertaking great things, noble causes, for the glory of God and His Church. It counters stinginess. When you practice magnificence, you don’t just dream big, you go big.

The Common Thread

So, what do all of these approaches have in common? Through them, you’re practicing charity, loving God with, in and through your love for others. In addition to willing the good of others, (the definition of love), you’re doing something about it. In practicing charity, liberality, generosity or magnificence, you’re taking a stand against the capital sin of avarice or greed. Through the practice of these virtues, you can eliminate sinful selfishness and replace it with merciful habits.

And please remember—all is a gift. Everything we have—everything—God has given to us as a gift. St. Ignatius of Loyola captures this, and more, beautifully in his Suscipe prayer:

Take, Lord, and receive, all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will, all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me. To You, Lord, I return it. Everything I have is Yours. Do with it what You will. Give me only Your love and Your grace. That will be sufficient for me.

How is God calling you to share some of His gifts, to help do His work? Pray about it. Many urgently need your help right now.

…to give oneself to Jesus Christ is to give oneself to others for love of Him, or rather to give oneself to Him in the person of our neighbor…There are so few people who understand this truth, that is why there are so few saints (Bl. Columba Marmion, OSB).