Searching for Reality

I recently had a doctor’s appointment for routine tests. Nothing much came from it except a small reprimand from my doctor. My doctor, who is a Christian, always gives me the best advice. I did not react well to routine tests and I thought the worst. Maybe I am too skeptical. Once everything came back fine, I then received a reprimand from my good doctor. “Daniel, why do you always go to the worst-case scenario?” was his question to me. At that moment, I needed to ask myself how I was living my daily life. I felt like such a hypocrite; I claim to believe in God’s faithfulness but when push came to shove, I panicked.

A Wake-up Call

What did all this mean for my life on a daily basis? I needed to go deeper into living out my faith. I had been coasting along with my simple life and thought everything was just fine. However, when life is full of road closures, curveballs, and storms and we can out the other side feeling renewed if we are grounded in God.

One of the readings I enjoy during Lent is from the Book of Daniel. Susannah is accosted and asked to commit acts of indecency or otherwise be denounced. She was torn. Then Daniel arrived to seek the truth. He uncovered what really happened by the description of the tree where everything occurred. Susannah was free and Daniel was revered.

Wisdom From Charles de Foucauld

As I thought about what my doctor said, I needed time to think and put his comments in perspective. I read about the life of Charles de Foucauld and he said, “the one thing we owe absolutely to God is never to be afraid of anything.” I convince myself that because I am so faithful, I deserve so much but that is my arrogance talking. Sometimes I feel I can do anything. However,  I also am fearful and hesitant.

Charles de Foucauld says again:

It is not necessary to teach others, to cure them or to improve them; it is only necessary to live among them, sharing the human condition and being present to them in love.

Here was a simple man who lived alone among the Tuareg in North Africa.  Since he basically lived alone with the Lord, Charles had to face who he was.  He needed to go to the depths of his soul in front of the presence of Christ.

Years ago, I drove a young potential novice to the cloister of Carmel because she had no car, and no one else would take her. She eventually entered the cloister and took final vows. I developed a relationship with those nuns which continues to this day. What I have learned over the years from the sisters in the cloister is to stand humbly, in awe in front of God, and try to know what He wants for me.

Examples

Young Carlo Acutis was divinely inspired when he said, “If we get in front of the sun, we get suntans, if we get in front of Jesus in the Eucharist, we become saints.” That young boy seems to be way ahead of me. How many of us can live up to that standard in our daily life? I feel so inadequate in front of the Infinite.

How do we live in front of the reality that is put in front of us? St. Jean Vianney was clear, “We are in reality only what we are in the eyes of God, and nothing more.” He defines us. He is the one who is waiting for us to turn to Him. There are many rocks on the road in front of us. It might make us fearful – it certainly does for me. Nevertheless, the road is rich in front of us because it is only worthwhile if it takes us to Him.

Suffering

I get scared sometimes. We are told by every self-help book to greet the day with joy and think positively. I do not think we can reduce our lives to such sentimentalism. Life is a much bigger challenge and sometimes you just don’t have the energy to do it. One thing I did learn after that doctor visit was that I cannot sit idly by and not pay attention to what is happening in front of me. I do not want to suffer because being a martyr is not the most attractive thing to be. Yet, suffering and challenges provide us the opportunity to grow; they are necessary though certainly not enjoyable.

If God sends you many sufferings it is a sign that He has great plans for you, and certainly wants to make you a saint (St. Ignatius of Loyola).

Reality to Where?

It is in these moments of trials that it is necessary to search for the real. At the university I went to, there is a one-way arrow sign pointing to the direction the road takes you off-campus. Someone scribbled on that arrow – ‘Reality.’ The intent was you can find reality off the campus of the university. I disagreed. Someone should have pointed out the nearby Catholic Church. It is Christ who shows us reality. I would say that many of us try to create a reality for ourselves. We try to create how life should be in the way we want it. It is here where I make my mistake. It is in these moments where I need to look at things much differently.

Conclusion

When I shrink from suffering, Jesus reproves me and tells me that He did not refuse to suffer. Then I say ‘Jesus, Your will and not mine’. At last, I am convinced that only God can make me happy, and in Him I have placed all my hope…(St. Gemma Galgani).

What the saints have told us through the ages has been consistent. We search for reality but maybe we are looking in the wrong places. Quite possibly, reality has found us. He became like us and now knows the human condition. We do not need a self-help book. We need Christ.

There is a beautiful picture card with Christ and a lantern knocking at the door. The door can only be open from the inside. As St. Pope John Paul II, upon his election as Roman Pontiff in 1978, said, “Be not afraid. Open wide the doors to Christ.” Let’s open that door to a new reality.