Scattered and Sown in the Garden Uneven

I do not have a green thumb. I am not able to grow beautiful, healthy plants in my garden. I wish I could and I am pretty sure our neighbour, who is an avid and very dedicated gardening enthusiast, wishes I had a green thumb as well. The sad history of my inability to sustain a plant began with the purchase and subsequent death of a “maintenance-free, guaranteed to survive” fern from Home Depot nearly twenty years ago. Since then, all of my previous attempts to maintain a plant have been unsuccessful.

Needless to say, when I see a beautifully maintained garden, I am usually in awe of it as well as the person or persons responsible for making it so. To me, it is an undertaking which involves skill, creativity, perseverance, and patience. I believe it is a wonderful gift to be able to care for and bring out the beauty of the natural world we live in. This very thought was foremost in my mind when I recently considered the significance of the parable of the sower in this, the garden of my life.

That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat there; and the whole crowd stood on the beach.  And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow (Mt. 13:1-3).

Here, There and Everywhere

In the parable, the seeds seem to fall all over the place. Whether this is right or wrong, I do not know. It does seem to be somewhat careless of the sower to be sowing on places such as a path, rocky ground, and thorns. Would that not be a waste of seeds? That kept me thinking for quite a bit – but more on this later.

Whenever I heard or read this parable, my tendency was to assume that each kind of area the seeds fell on was a kind of person. While I wanted to be the “good soil”, the truth is that I also saw in myself the other kinds of places. It made me wonder why I could not seem to find one fit that worked for me, even in the explanation of the parable several verses later on in the same chapter of Matthew’s gospel.

In praying about this parable, I have come to realize that within my life, each of these places the parable mentions can be found, not once, but many, many times. I wish I could say that I am now firmly rooted in top-grade, first-class, super enriched good soil at this point in my life, but I know those pesky rocks and prickly thorns are still there. I suspect they will continue to be there until the moment of my death, with more than a few weeds thrown in the mix.

Path Under Construction

And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them (Mt. 13:4).

The path spoken of was probably well-trod, dirt, and soil packed in hard and quite firm. It was a busy place, with people and animals passing through all the time. Any seeds which would have fallen on such ground would have been trampled on by many feet or carried away by hungry birds on the lookout for such a prize. We have all seen paths like this where seeds do not stand a chance to even penetrate the hard and dry ground, let alone take root and grow. Yet, the sower – God Himself – scattered the seeds on this kind of ground. Was it for nothing?

When I look back at how my life has been, my youthful years are chockful of many missed or wasted opportunities to be closer to God, do good, help others, and be better a person. I was like a pleasure-seeking missile on red alert, focused on me, myself, and I. What good does it do for me to know this when it is all in the past and cannot be undone? It fills me with remorse to know that I squandered away so much time and so many chances to love and to live out God’s will. Yet, our Lord Himself gives me a reason not to despair: And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mk. 2:17).

It is the full knowledge of these, my past sins, and the conviction of Jesus’ forgiveness and love, which spur me on. The divine Sower, Who scattered seeds on the hard path, knew what He was doing. They did not go to waste, for their loss serves to root my faith in humility and gratitude for God’s mercy.

Shallow Is As Shallow Does

Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they had not much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched; and since they had no root they withered away (Mt. 13:5-6).

To consider one’s life in the light of God’s providence and love is a much-needed reality check and an acute reminder of how much deeper and stronger our faith could be. This rocky ground mentioned in the parable is not one moment or blip in my life. Rather, I find these patches of rocky ground throughout the history of my ups and downs in my faith – even now.

My experience has helped me to realize the correlation between my effort to go deeper in my faith and personal relationship with God and my ability to persevere and overcome the temptation of panic and anxiety when life throws me a zinger. It is easy to say that God loves you when things are going well and all is right in the world. It is more challenging to do the same, though, when you are suddenly made aware that you are $25 away from going over your overdraft limit and you still have several bills to pay.

When I have taken extra care to stay connected with our Lord through the Holy Mass and receiving the Eucharist, frequent confession, personal prayer, and an awareness of His presence in everything, I have also been able to manage my reaction to unexpected or unfortunate events in life.  It is not that my bank account does not suffer for a lack of funds when I pray extra hard, or that I do not face any challenges when I take care of my spiritual life. Instead, these circumstances and situations are still present, but my faith helps me to be resolute and hope in God, whatever the problem may be.

Lost in the Middle of the World

Other seeds fell upon thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them (Mt 13:7).

St. Teresa of Avila refers to this life on earth as “a night in a bad inn”. We are meant to be with God and this mortal life is temporal and fleeting. Yet, it is quite easy to be enamoured of and fascinated with this world, to the point of being lost in it. As well, it is not just the bits, baubles, and bright lights of the world at large. These cares of the world include even those ones which are not inherently bad or wrong, but our own fixation on them as the be-all and end-all of our lives is where the problem lies.

These thorns could be an unhealthy preoccupation or dedication to our professional work, ambition, and self-promotion, money or power or all these. When we put anything or anyone else before God, this chokes the life of our faith, skewing our priorities and distorting our vision of what is important in our life. In my own life, I have struggled and continue to do so in my effort to put God first. I find it especially difficult in those little moments of the day which I have set aside to be in conversation with Him. I allow myself to be distracted by everything and everyone, or I put off my time with Him – because I can and I tell myself it is okay. In those small moments, I allow other things to take precedence over my time with God. It may not seem like a big deal – after all, who is going to know?

It is, however, a tremendously big deal. That small moment was a big opportunity to show my heavenly Father how much He means to me, and I blew it by blowing Him off. Those small moments we have to choose to be with God or keep a promise we have made to Him are ones which help to define our love for Him. They involve our personal will and serve to either strengthen or weaken our own faith. They make up our personal struggle to put an order in our priorities in life, and whenever we choose God, that seed of faith grows bigger and stronger.

Harvest Time in the Garden

Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear (Mt. 13: 8-9).

In the garden of my life, there have been many patches and stretches of rocky and thorny ground, some hard paths crisscrossing here and there, and a few promising spots of what looks to be okay soil. It is not the best soil, but it is what there is. I only need to say yes to Him, and He does what He has to do, as the divine Sower and my heavenly Father.

Take a recollected and prayerful walk through the garden of your own life. If it looks a bit like a patchwork quilt of paths, rocks, thorns, and weeds, remember that we have Jesus for our divine Gardener, if we allow Him to do what He will with us. If anyone can make things grow, thrive, and produce a bountiful harvest from any kind of soil, it is He.