Perfectly Imperfect Missions

Mission Month 2022 is here with us. The month during which we are called to recognise ourselves as missionary disciples. We strive to work and pray together and share God’s love with everyone, everywhere – in the family, community, village, country, and the world. Calling to mind…

Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8

The month starts with the Feast of St. Therese, the little flower. Looking to her and her approach to striving in the faith – doing all things with love and childlike trust in God – makes me realize just how imperfect a catholic I am. Where she tried to be charitable to all (especially those she didn’t like), I do the direct opposite. Always performing little acts of charity and making little sacrifices without caring how unimportant they seem is way out of my catholic league. Trying much as I possibly can to imitate the little way only drains the little missionary-ness (PS: this word does not exist) in me. While I am absorbed in thought, the choir intentionally belts out these words,

Here I am, Lord! Is it I, Lord? I have heard you calling in the night; I will go, Lord. If you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart.

I am overcome with feelings of uncertainty. I feel unworthy. I am unqualified. I am unsuited. I am guilty. I have sung these words as many times as I can remember, but I have not honestly lived them. The key phrase is, “I will go”. Today I sat before the Eucharistic Lord, mulling over my mediocre discipleship. For starters, I am a clinger. I cling to things, to some people, to ideas, to my own ways, to stuff. I cling, then I don’t go. Also, I conveniently turn a deaf ear so that I don’t hear what God is asking of me. I ignore it, then I don’t go. I become plugged in with everyday trivialities so that I seem unavailable. I become busy, then I don’t go.

At this point, I am sinking into self-pity, self-loathing, and misery; but the good Lord intervenes, saying:

Give ear and hear my voice, Listen, and hear my words (Isaiah 28:23).

The Lord reminds me of some people whom He called to follow Him into the Mission. There was Simon Peter, who left everything to follow Jesus (Luke 18:28) and faced some turbulence in his mission to follow Jesus and spent much time trying to figure it out. Peter judged himself so harshly for the missteps that he had taken. He wanted to forget he ever knew the Lord because he did some things for which he was deeply ashamed. Remember the garden, when the Lord asked him to watch with Him, and he slept (Matthew 26:40). At the time of the arrest, all the disciples left Him and fled (Mark 14:50). Because he put himself in the wrong place at the wrong time (cf. John 18:8), Peter ended up denying the Lord Jesus three times – swearing oaths and cursing himself should he be lying (Matthew 26:69-75). The man who earlier bragged that he would die before turning from Jesus fled in tears of shame. He went out and wept bitterly (Luke 22:62), but that did not appease his guilt. Peter was acutely aware of his inadequacy, his failings, and his weaknesses. He was discouraged and disillusioned, so he quit and went back to fishing because that is where he felt safe (John 21:3).

Called for Love, to Love

Peter did not understand why the Lord called him to follow Him when he was this imperfect. But the Lord Jesus called Peter (and the disciples and you and me) simply out of His love. Peter and the Lord Jesus had a special love relationship. The Lord needed to remind him of this love. So, he went looking for Peter (and the rest of the disciples he had dragged into a reversion). First, the Lord served them breakfast (John 21:12); then, He performs a wonderful restoration and thrice reaffirms Peter’s call to the mission. This is what the Lord Jesus does for each one of us. He is the one who knows our hearts. He does not call our physical beings; He calls our spiritual beings.

If you have ever pulled a Peter move and have fallen into the temptation to return to your old life, know that the Lord will do for you what He did for the disciples. He has a special call upon you to go into the Mission. He will meet you in your failings. He will call on you to affirm your love of Him (for the Mission). He will reaffirm you in your special calling. He will strengthen you to likewise be a strengthener of others (Luke 22:32). He will challenge you to get back on track with your mission. He will remind you that He is with you always till the end of the age (Matthew 20:20).

Usable in Imperfection

The Lord Jesus knows each one of us and it would do us much good to also know Him (John 10:14). He sees all our imperfections, yet He loves us so perfectly. As St. Paul reminds us, our imperfections make us usable to God.

 Not that I have already grasped it all or have already become perfect, but I press on if I may also take hold of that for which I was even taken hold of by Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12).

It is when we are poor (in spirit) that He makes us rich (Matthew 5:3). We cannot spread the love of God when we hold onto our love of the world. St. John says that the love of the Father would otherwise not be in us (1 John 2:15).

Understand the (apparent) Oxymorons of the Mission

In the Mission, what might seem preposterous is simply true in God’s wisdom. It is a call to embrace the absurd because:

1. Weakness means Strength

When we go on the Mission, we empty ourselves so that God can do plenty with us. When we miss the mark, we must realize the flaw and keep trying. We should not stop (or revert). We should emulate Paul, and most gladly rather boast of our weaknesses so that the Power of Christ may dwell in us. If we were perfect, we would not need His grace. The grace He gives for the mission is sufficient because power is perfected in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). When we stand on God’s Word (John 1:1), despite not exactly living up to it, we walk in faith. In doing so, we show the world that the Lord Jesus is still working in us, using our imperfections to draw others to Himself. If we were perfect and we did extraordinary things, others would see it as our human effort. But when they know our imperfections and witness positive results, they acknowledge the power of God and give glory to Him (Acts 4:13).

2. Loss Means Gain

Going into a mission can demand a stripping of our human achievements. It calls for us to make sacrifices – your comfortable bed for a reed mat in a poorly lit mud house; your modest car for a ride on a donkey cart down a dusty village path; your hot showers for an occasional sponge wash with a tumbler of water. The mission must be a sacrifice for Christ. A sacrifice of your lips (Hebrews 13:15—16) that gives praise to God (Romans 11:33–36). A sacrifice of your life (Romans 12:1) – your time, ambitions, possessions, body, mind, attitudes, and emotions – for your whole life. It means placing your whole (sleeping, eating, working, and walking) before God as an offering. A sacrifice of loving service (Romans 12:9-18): of being generous (v.13), hospitable (v.13), forgiving (v.14), empathetic (v.15), and living at peace with everyone (v.18). in essence, a sacrifice of your love. Paul knew as much when he said,

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them mere rubbish, so that I may gain Christ – Philippians 3:8.

3. Humility means Honor

Missions can be quite rewarding. Remember how the seventy came back triumphant (Luke 10:17). The temptation to focus on you (and your performance) is real, but you must heed the words of St. James to humble yourself before the Lord so that He exalts you (cf. James 4:10). We are not in a race. In fact, missions have a way of reminding us how the last will be first and the first, surely last (Matthew 20:16). In missions, one person prepares to lose so that the community eventually wins. We support each other to win by losing as individuals!

There are other apparent oxymorons that I will not point out here, but you will encounter them in your mission. You must be prepared for them and expect them so that you respond appropriately to them.

What About the Call to be Perfect?

I suppose this is yet another oxymoron – it inspires and burdens at the same time. Following this call can be quite a challenge. It feels impossible to attain perfection as an individual; it is even worse in relationships where another is involved.

Therefore you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. – Matthew 5:48

Our ability to love and to be loved depends upon the grace of God. We can be fulfilled with the life of Christ in us, which through God’s grace, is a taste of perfection. When we receive Christ into our lives, His perfect power, wisdom, love, and grace are born in us. We can then experience Him through loving another.

Take-home Message

When we invite Christ to fellowship with us, He dwells at the center of every relationship. Our ultimate goal is perfection, but this awaits us in Heaven. There we will be made perfect as He is perfect. For now, we continue to linger in expectation of His coming. Meanwhile, we strive, we fall, we get up and we try again. We continue striving for perfection in our imperfections. And we remember always that He is here to help us in our tarrying. We only need to ask, and we shall receive; to seek, and we shall find; to knock, and a door will open (Matthew 7:7). Then the Mission will not seem impossible. The opportunity to love as Christ has loved us will keep presenting itself. What He expects of us is to follow His example (Ephesians 5:1). We must never give up on our imperfections because He loves us perfectly.

*NB: All Bible quotations are from NASB Version