Men Who Mourn on Father’s Day

Father’s Day After An Abortion

Relationship problems, alcohol and drug use, anger, depression, and even suicide are all statistically higher in post-abortive men.  Yet there isn’t as much public awareness about it, and many of these men themselves don’t associate any difficulties with their abortion.  In some cases, men struggle with anxiety, lack of concentration, and rage that affects daily life and work.  Men have shared being let go from a job or being asked to leave the military.  Most relationships in which there is an abortion end shortly after.  Often family members, friends or roommates, have no idea why this person is showing changes in his personality.

Some of the men, who shared their stories, were opposed to the abortion and felt powerless to prevent it.  That’s one kind of agony.  Other men insisted on the abortion, maybe threatened to end the relationship if the mother kept the baby, offered to pay for it, brought his wife or girlfriend to the abortion center, and waited outside.  Their agony includes deep regret, feelings of responsibility, and even self-hatred.

Consider the Fathers

One of the most moving newer aspects of the pro-life movement is the testimony of men whose wives or girlfriends have had an abortion.  Carrying signs that say just that, they’ve had a presence at the March for Life for the past few years.  Some have spoken at parish pro-life meetings; others have written books or posted video interviews; others help out at crisis pregnancy centers in a variety of ways (painting and repairs, picking up or dropping off donated cribs, car seats, etc. and/or counseling young men who are considering abortion); still, others pray and witness in front of Planned Parenthoods around the country.

These men reach out to the young men heading inside or dropping off their girlfriend, and tell them what it’s really like to miss a child whose death you’re responsible for.  They urge these couples to go to the nearest pro-life pregnancy center to see their baby’s ultrasound, something they were not shown before their abortion.  These men give their time to try to prevent the same life-altering pain in other young men.  Their prayers and witness are heroic.

“I Regret Lost Fatherhood”