Loving Our Priests

It’s very easy to like priests who are charismatic personalities and knock-out preachers. It’s easy to appreciate those who have great PR skills, those who take the time and effort to get to know their parishioners, those who answer sick calls with no questions asked, those who understand life’s bitter realities, and those who give sound and practical advice. We can’t help loving those who are at everyone’s disposal.

But what of the priests who say Mass perfunctorily and irreverently? Those who deliver long-winded, somniferous Sunday sermons? How do we love those who give communion as if the Body and Blood of Christ were a bunch of bus tickets or those who have left the priesthood? Some priests have even led our loved ones astray, taught things contradictory to Church teaching, or worse, have been found (or alleged) to have committed sexual offenses against minors and women – what about them?

These are tough questions. Countless Catholics who have left the Church say they can’t trust their pastors (or the entire Church for that matter) due to the scandals involving many members of the clergy. Their general sentiment would probably be this: the Church has failed them.

All Messed Up

In his book Arise from Darkness: What to do When Life Doesn’t Make Sense, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, relates, in a chapter titled “When the Church Lets Us Down,” that he has known dumb Jesuits, confused Dominicans, proud Capuchins, rich Franciscans, and Salesians who can’t stand small children. (He goes further by saying he’s known merciless Sisters of Mercy, uncharitable Missionaries of Charity, and foolish Daughters of Wisdom!)

“This world is filled with absurdities,” he writes. “Go visit Rome. They say it’s a city where Communists pray and prelates don’t. Everything in this world is a bit messed up,” he says.

Far from justifying clerical abuse or failure on the part of Church authorities, Fr. Groeschel says the reason the Church fails us is that it is made up of human beings. He says: “It is the human side of the Church that can hurt everyone…the people in the Church can be nice one day and bad the next. Even on the same day and in the same parish, there are those who can be terribly charitable and terribly unkind.”

Pause, Reflect

Fr. Groeschel says when we experience hurt by priests one way or another, perhaps we should ask ourselves these questions: Did I forget that the Church was made up of human beings with original sin? Did I expect too much from the clergy?  Am I overly dependent on the institution of the Church? Has my reliance on Church people caused me not to rely enough on God?

In the latter part of his book, he pleads with his readers to be patient with their priests and Church leaders “because we are in extremely difficult, confusing and pagan times.” He adds matter-of-factly that “some devout people need to remember that Christ does not exist for the Church; the Church exists for and with Christ…if you complain, do so wisely but charitably. It is wise and charitable to make a distinction between an abuse, an exception, and personal peeve.”

On the other hand, he says – from his priestly experience – that nothing is more frustrating than a priest trying his best to keep the local Church going and someone goes ballistic because his parish priest wears the wrong color of vestments during Advent!

Affirm, Pray

Because priests are mortal human beings, they need affirmation like anyone else, and they need support (material or otherwise). I remember a story about a local priest who went into depression because of his parishioners’ indifference.

One chilly evening, after saying a Christmas Eve Mass and seeing the mass goers heading home where a sumptuous Christmas Eve dinner (noche buena as we Filipinos call it) awaited them, he went alone to his quarters at the parish rectory. No one even took the trouble to invite him to dinner!

Validating our priests, getting to know them, and showing them our sincere appreciation for all they’ve done as representatives of the Mystical Body of Christ are what the faithful need to do. Truth to tell, no priests, no sacraments!

Most importantly, we should wish them well and pray for them – all priests: the priests we love, those we love to be around with, those who have gone astray, and those who need enlightenment and direction. And how should we pray? Fr. Groeschel gives us some thought-provoking lines:

“Help us, O Lord, when the Church on earth fails us. Help us not to be bitter, not to be rebellious, not to expect much, but following your own example and the example of your saints, let us love…help us to accept and correct without bitterness. Help us to serve and not to expect a reward.”