When we meet our Judge, what will we have to answer for? The question is highly personal and responses will vary from individual to individual.
One issue that many of us may need to answer for, however, is judging the hearts, intentions or motives of others.
What is wrong with judging others? Didn’t God give us an intellect to allow us to discern and decide between just and unjust, between right and wrong? He did indeed. But He didn’t equip us to read souls. That’s His job, not ours.
Jesus Warns Against Judging
Jesus tells us not to judge others’ hearts:
“Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5).
St. Paul echoes these words in Romans 2 and 14. We’ve probably all read these, maybe even meditated on them, multiple times. Yet we may still struggle with the sin the Lord’s telling us to avoid.
Many Opportunities for Judging
These times give us an overabundance of opportunities to read, hear, think or talk about what others might be doing in their lives. Often of particular interest are those others involved in politics or in the hierarchy of the Church. Recently, social media and the “blogosphere” have been abuzz with commentary on the words and actions of various clergy.
Many people have diverse opinions on what someone is reported to have said or done. Sometimes these opinions are based on hearsay. In those instances, getting involved in spreading potential rumors results in high-tech facilitated gossiping. Regardless of whether hearsay or other communication is involved, a risk exists of various sins against charity and justice.
The Type of Judging to Avoid
Even if we’re sharing an opinion based on fact, such as the incontrovertible word of one or more parties, or personal, behind-the-scenes knowledge, we still place our souls at risk when we get twisted up in the middle of controversies and disagreements. For example, we hear that a superior has placed restrictions on someone reporting to him or her. We perceive the restrictions to be unjust. We don’t really know exactly what transpired or why, though. Yet, we let our imaginations and tongues run wild with assumptions and inferences.
Thus, we take on the role of readers of minds and souls as we try to process what’s happened. When we start assuming and inferring another’s intent, we’re doing what Jesus tells us not to do in Mt 7:1. We are judging their heart, assuming their intentions. And in many cases, we’re likely not assuming good intentions on their part, but rather, ascribing less-than-charitable intentions to them.
Consider following Fr. Michael Casey’s advice in Seventy-Four Tools for Good Living:
“Since we rarely know the whole story, more often than not it is wiser to say less than to say more, particularly when we permit ourselves to infer motivations and intentions from observable behavior.”
Judging Objectively Wrong Behavior
Of course, this is not to say that we shouldn’t use the intellect and reasoning ability Our Lord gave us to discern what’s objectively wrong from what is objectively right, without inferring intentions. So, for example, when a high-ranking church man publicly states that there’s no need to convert others to the faith, we can judge that statement against the supernatural truth revealed to us in the Scripture and Tradition of the Church.
Matthew 28:19 states, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…” The many martyrs who have shed blood doing this, from the Apostles, right on up through modern day witnesses, have lived this out in their lives and deaths.
Objectively speaking, we’ve all been given the mission of converting souls to God, of building up the Kingdom in some particular way, based on our state in life and our individual charisms. On the other hand, judging the speaker’s intent, heart, or soul is not our job. Leave that up to God. The two of them will discuss that when the time comes.
The Desert Fathers on Judging
We might benefit from the advice and practices of the Desert Fathers adapted from The Word in the Desert. By stopping to ask and answer the following questions, we might be able to develop greater humility and compassion in our behaviors:
What am I looking at? Myself or others?
How do I see them? With empathy or superiority?
Why do I even notice? It’s easier to see their faults than to look at mine
By looking through the lens of these questions, we can better maintain skepticism of our own, limited and narrow view, especially related to others’ actions.
Embrace Our Faults–Have Compassion for Others
It’s always easier to look at others and our perceptions of their faults, than to face ours. Yet, Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:5 to first take the log out of our own eye, and then we see clearly to take the speck out of our brother’s eye. When focused on our own faults, we don’t have time to worry about those of others. As well, St. Bernard of Clairvaux tells us that once we humbly embrace our own failings, we can then have more compassion and charity for others in their failings. And that will lead to a deeper relationship with Our Lord over time. Who wouldn’t want that?
Reset and Reframe When Temptations Arise
Some of us have had many decades to build up judgmental, critical spirits, thoughts and behaviors. Yet, with prayer, God’s grace and our response to His grace, we can overcome these bad habits and replace them with good habits.
The next time you’re tempted to think uncharitably about someone, consider the following, process to replace it with a compassionate response instead:
- Stop – As soon as you recognize the thought pattern welling up, simply stop, right then and there.
- Pray—Ask Jesus and Mary, your guardian angel or other favorite saint, for help with a quick, brief aspirational prayer
- Reframe—Switch to—look for—something positive in them or the situation.
- Give Thanks—Thank the Lord for allowing you to stop it when you did, even if it wasn’t as quickly as you’d have liked–you’re making progress!
- Do Penance—If you missed the opportunity to do the above (i.e., if you failed this time–and we may have some failures as we continue to work on this), then do some suitable form of penance, and pray for the grace to do better the next time.
The bottom line: Life is short. As St. Paul exhorts, let’s focus on “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).
Yes, there’s a lot of seemingly crazy stuff going on in our Church. But dealing with it is “above our pay grades,” as the old saying goes. We have to focus on what we individually can influence and impact—i.e., our personal relationship with Jesus. No matter what goes on inside or outside of the Church, He’s there with each of us.
“… it should be presupposed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it…one should search out every appropriate means through which, by understanding the statement in a good way, it may be saved” — St. Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises [22]
