As a cradle Catholic, the value of suffering and its place in life are concepts I have accepted without question. When difficulties both large and small crossed my path, I was not plagued with the “why me?” frustrations, but shouldered my crosses and kept going as best I could. I became so good at accepting life’s less-than-pleasant parts that two detrimental things happened: I found too much pride in trying to carry my crosses and I forgot to ask for their removal. In my effort to prove my strength, often to myself more than to others, I became caught up in handling each trial on my own. But as I prepared to receive Anointing of the Sick, I realized I had been so busy praying for strength to carry the cross, I forgot that I could ask for its removal.
Suffering Is Part of the Christian Life
It is true that most will have to endure some form of suffering in their lives and that God can make great things come about through that suffering. “In the world, you will have trouble,” Christ tells the apostles on the eve of His death (John 16:33). He advises us to take up our crosses and follow Him in other parts of the Gospels, and the teachings of His disciples after Him echo this requirement of the Christian life.
1 Peter 2:20-21 states, “But if you are patient when you suffer for doing good, this is a grace before God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps.” Though this passage predominately refers to persecution, it is not a stretch to apply this to any suffering that the devout disciple of God is called to endure. St. Paul reminds the faithful in Romans 12 “I urge you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship,” (Romans 12:1).
It is the destiny of Christians to suffer, as Pope St. John Paul II wrote in his Apostolic Letter, Salvifici Doloris: “Suffering seems to belong to man’s transcendence: it is one of those points in which man is in a certain sense “destined” to go beyond himself, and he is called to this in a mysterious way.” No man avoids difficulty and all followers of God are called to embrace this difficulty as sanctifying, for our paths are to conform to Christ’s and He suffered the most extreme sacrifice to save us. With this in mind, it is not surprising that my first response to my own suffering was acceptance. But, that is only part of the proper response.
God’s Wants To Heal Our Suffering
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Christ calls us to take His yoke upon us. He says that it is easy and light, but not because the life of a Christian is easy. The faithful know that Christ’s yoke demands much of those who bear it. Christ does not call His burden “light” to be deceptive. He calls it “light” because He is carrying it with us. Much like the modern story of the footprints in the sand, Christ carries us through the hard times, leaving only one set of footprints: not because we walk alone nor because He takes the burdens away from us and carries them by Himself, but because He carries us as we carry them.
However, He is not going to force His help upon us. We must seek His help, and then, like the woman who fought the crowds just to touch Jesus’s hem, He will give us the healing we seek (cf. Luke 8: 40-48). This healing may not always be what we expect. The following prayer from the liturgy of the Anointing of the Sick reflects what is requested in this sacrament:
Deliver him from all miseries of body and mind; mercifully restore him to perfect health inwardly and outwardly, that having recovered by an act of kindness, he may be able to take up his former duties.
If the cross we are carrying is God-given and we are meant to bear it, God may not take it from us, but He will give us the strength to carry it. He will heal our hearts and souls, refreshing them and giving them the grace to fulfill His will for us, in spite of the difficulties before us, and bless us for our continued effort to do His will. As Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen explained, “If the illness is to last for some time, the sacrament gives to the sick person the necessary grace to endure his sickness in the spirit of holiness…” (see here for the full text of prayer and Fulton Sheen’s reflection).
“Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you,” Christ promises (Luke 11:9). He wants us to come to Him and He will heal us if only we have faith and give Him the chance to help.
Suffering Makes Saints
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states the following about illness: “Illness can lead to anguish, self-absorption, sometimes even despair and revolt against God. It can also make a person more mature, helping him discern in his life what is not essential so that he can turn toward that which is. Very often illness provokes a search for God and a return to him.” (CCC 1501).
Chronic illness has plagued me for years, altering the way I was able to enjoy life’s milestones and damaging the strong persona I strove to cultivate. Anguish and despair, as described above, have washed over me many times. The longer I suffered and the more extreme the suffering, the more self-absorbed I became. Some of this is natural, as taking care of one’s health when it is at its worst is an obligation that demands many sacrifices and personal attention. Over time though, it can become a habit that is hard to recognize and break.
I prayed hard to understand the reasons for my suffering, not because I questioned why I had to suffer, but because I wanted to know God’s purpose for it, as it seemed to block my ability to fully pursue the other things I felt He had called me to accomplish. I came up with many reasons that I felt my particular sufferings were assigned to me, which helped.
As the Catechism passage states, this trial did bring me closer to God and helped me recognize my own self-reliance that had shrouded my need for Him. I needed to be humbled to remember that I owe God everything, including the glory my “achievements” might bring. It is not I who succeed, but God in me, for all I have done and will do is only made possible through the gifts He has given me.
Ask for Healing
As I prepared to receive Anointing of the Sick, I was dumbfounded by the realization I had never asked for healing. I realized I was afraid to hope. But I opened myself to Him, pouring out my pain and fear and asking that, at the very least, I am given the grace necessary to continue to carry my cross while keeping Him by my side. The day before I received the sacrament, such peace and light washed over me, I felt completely transformed by the Spirit and knew I had been missing something essential.
We are called to suffer, that is true. But we are also called to hope. “Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer,” St. Paul writes in Romans 12:12. Without all three elements present, we fail to suffer properly and God is not able to work through our pain. But when we suffer with hope, then great miracles can happen both in our own souls and in the souls of those we offer our suffering to save. It is okay to ask for healing, in fact, God wants us to, so ask in faith then leave it in His hands.
My physical pain has not left, but I have since learned better ways to prayerfully bear it. At the time I received the sacrament, He truly gifted me an abundance of grace and gave me a small respite, allowing me to build strength to bear the trials to come. I pray He will continue to remind me to draw upon His strength and keep seeking healing, even as I accept His suffering.
