How Ya Doin?

Over the course of a year there are a couple of occasions when my old buddies and I get together. Although we are aging, and our numbers are decreasing, the reminiscing is always enjoyable.

Whenever we meet, after some time apart, the first question everybody asks is “How ya doin?” The responses are some of the old cliches, like “Still standing!” or “Still kicking!” From there rather lengthy discussions of medical problems and aches and pains are usually undertaken. Discussion then expands into deaths and illnesses of family members and friends. Then we finally get to the reminiscing.

Physically and Mentally

But those of us who are aging through our 80’s now seem to have health issues as the main focus of our lives. It’s only natural that the wonderfully made body God has given us will wear out and deteriorate over time. Thanks to Adam, our bodies cannot last forever.

The challenge we all have is to accept the inevitability of that decline. For some of us, our bodies have undergone much wear and tear. And we don’t have the option of trading it in for a newer model – despite what the crazy transhumanists are promising.

In my professional years as an exercise physiologist/psychologist I would preach the importance of lifestyle (exercise and nutrition) as “preventive medicine” for a greater quality and length of life. A common saying was that the exercise lifestyle you choose means you will either see a cardiologist (for the sedentary) or an orthopedist (for the physically active) in later years.

When my old friends get together that cliche by and large is born out. The one caveat is the almost random attack of cancer which means seeing an oncologist in later years.

In terms of mental functioning “how you doin” appears pretty straight forward. After several conversations our memories are tested (both short and long term). While many of us have the aging ‘loss of names’ that is normal, a few, unfortunately, have noticeable declines.

In Faith

In terms of any matters of faith most of the guys will become somewhat moot. There will be a few who will share how they are thankful for what God has done for them. But, by and large faith is an uncomfortable topic. It may be that many of my old friendships were established long before I became Catholic in my middle years.

Growing up in the 40s and 50s, Catholics and Protestants back then tended to keep to themselves. Having been Lutheran in my early years, many of my old buddies are non-Catholic, and nowadays nominally so. I would also say that most of my buddies from work or recreation relationships tend to be in a similar religious persuasion.

As a consequence, religious topics are not much on their radar screens. At first they were surprised when I bring up faith topics knowing my rather rowdy past. Now they accept it as part of Tom’s “how ya doin’” ritual.

As the years roll on we all have to deal with the fact that we are on the down side of the curve. I have even raised questions about how my friends are dealing with the fact that we are on the downside of our lives. We are nearer to our death – something no one likes to really talk about. But the health discussions do provide “lead ins.”

“How ya doin” Spiritually

Since becoming Catholic I now have an expanded group of buddies from Knights of Columbus and various church men’s groups. “How ya doin” is one of the topics when we get together. Questions get raised such as, “What’s been or is the meaning of my life?” Another question is, “Where am I going with what’s left of my life?” And still another is “What is my legacy?”

From a personal faith perspective, “how am I doin” with my relationship with God is a very important question. Confession is a key opportunity to raise this question.

I remember that  one of the first priests I saw for confession was a “Jersey” boy. In this Jersy accent he would always ask “how ya doin?”  I guess that’s where I first got that expression. (As an aside, after he was in Texas a while he eventually changed it to “How ya doin y’all.”)

In my older years it’s a question that I even raise at times outside of the confessional,  like at bedtime. The Catechism teaches that a regular examination of conscience focuses the question of “how am I doin.”

Introspection is never an easy task, yet to live honestly its one we need to undertake on a regular basis. Recognizing that some of the actions that reflect “how am I doin” are not always pretty, the process can force some needed humility. It aids in offsetting that major failing and deadly sin of pride.