My Experience
I was at the airport, standing at a charging station, waiting for my phone to charge. Near me, sat a man in a wheelchair with a brace on his left leg and foot. I felt pity for him and imagined his pain and how difficult it must be to go everywhere in a wheelchair and I did not even know the pain he must have felt with whatever was wrong with his leg.
I felt pulled toward him. I felt inclined to go over to him. It seemed like the Holy Spirit was beckoning me to go to the man and share the Gospel with him.
Of course, I had my doubts. What if this was some weird thing I had in my head? What if the man would be insulted if I started talking to him? I was coming back from Honduras, so what if he didn’t speak English? I certainly didn’t speak Spanish. He could see me as rude. He could see me as annoying or presumptuous. And my biggest fear: What if I prayed for his healing in the Name of Jesus…and Jesus did not heal him?
Besides, my phone needed more charging. I used that as an excuse to not go over to the man. But then the thought came: What is more important? Charging your phone? Or loving your neighbor? I was trembling! But somehow, almost as if the Holy Spirit was pushing me back toward the man, I walked to him and knelt down in front of him.
He spoke in Spanish but said he understood English. After asking permission to pray over him, I blessed myself and let my trembling hand hover over his leg. “In the Name of Jesus, be healed. May the grace of Jesus come upon you.” I made the Sign of the Cross and asked his name. Carlos. I told him mine was Jacqueline.
I smiled, told him it was nice to meet him, and turned to leave.
“Pray for me,” Carlos said.
“I will. Please pray for me too.”
And so, I left him. Trembling.
The Gospel: Tremble
My encounter with Carlos was similar to other encounters I have had with people. Often, I feel called to pray for people with visible disabilities. Each time, though, I tremble with fear. I want to share the Good News, but are there not so many things that could go wrong? What if I turned them away from Jesus instead of toward Him?
I have witnessed physical healing, but not usually when I’m the main one interceding. I usually do witness touching a heart. I often witness great gratitude, praise to God, smiles, and what may even be inner healing.
Yet, I tremble each time! You would think I would learn by how many times I have done this that it turns out well. The worst experience I have had when asking to pray with someone or offering someone a rosary has been the response, “I don’t need prayers.” And that was not so bad. I just shook the dust from my feet and carried on, the way Jesus encourages His disciples to shake the dust from their feet when a town rejects the Gospel message, and simply carry on to the next town (Matthew 10:14).
Even though I carry on, I look down and see that my hands are still trembling. But I have learned that trembling is common when preaching the Gospel.
St. Paul’s Trembling
I am a part of a bible study that is praying with 1 Corinthians. I noticed when reading that Paul, the great apostle, and saint, trembled! Read the following, “I came to you in weakness and fear and much trembling, and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive [words of] wisdom but with a demonstration of spirit and power” (1 Corinthians 2:3-4).
The word, “trembling” jumped out at me and I shared that with my study group. We all agreed that sharing the Gospel is hard and can be scary. Our bodies may even react by trembling, whether we are in conversation with a friend, with family, acquaintances, or strangers. Whether the person is young or old, philosophical, down-to-earth, grumpy, or pleasant, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, Hindu, or Protestant, we may tremble.
But trembling is nothing when compared to not preaching the Gospel. Rather, it compels us to preach the Gospel as our heart is not simply moved, but our bodies are even reacting! And it is not just for little hidden people, but for Paul, perhaps one of the greatest preachers God has gifted.
I think of Mother Teresa’s “Anyway,” poem:
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
There is much more to the poem, but I think we could add it to St. Mother Teresa’s list. What about, “You may tremble when preaching the Gospel; Preach the Gospel anyway.”?
Were You There?
Furthermore, you may know the famous Lenten/Good Friday song, “Were You There.” It is a simple song with four verses. Each verse includes the word, “tremble”.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
The next first line of each verse has a similar pattern: Were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Were you there when they laid him in the tomb? Were you there when God raised him from the tomb?
And the third line in each verse is the same, “Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.”
This song gives example and acceptance of trembling. The crucifixion of the Lord can make us tremble, especially when we realize that we too must be crucified with Him to have eternal life. Furthermore, the pain of being nailed to a tree is quite drastic and can cause trembling and tears as well. Then, Jesus laying in the tomb is definitely an acceptable time to tremble for He has left us for a time. He died. When loved ones die, it is very common for us to tremble. And then, we can tremble with fear, awe, and amazement when God raised Jesus from the tomb.
Trembling is a reaction to the emotions that are going on inside of us and what occurs around us. It is okay to tremble. I would go so far as to say that trembling is a good thing because it depicts our deep feeling and love for God and our conviction to preach the Gospel, no matter what the cost.
8 thoughts on “Do You Ever Tremble?”
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Good grief, what petty responses to a heartfelt article. I was moved by her words and by her references to the great song, “Were You There,” which I have sung all of my life. And I’m unclear why you are being so critical of self-examination. I believe it was Paul, echoing Socrates, who wrote, “Let a person examine himself.”
I strongly agree that we all should examine ourselves.
That is why I shared my perception – as a physically challenged person who she might see sitting in a wheelchair somewhere. You’ve now described my (valid) personal perception as “petty.” My, how interesting. Jacqueline did not, which I appreciate. Perhaps she is open to hearing how other people see things, especially when they have a perspective that is especially germane to the subject matter. It seems you define “petty” as anything that doesn’t support and further your own pre-conceived narrative.
What seems petty to me is being dismissive of other well-founded but different perceptions.
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Jehane – it is good to have this discussion. If you go back and reread your comments, notice how much is about “your feelings” and “your guilt.” It’s all about the assumptions you’re making about the person you see, and how it makes you feel. Empathy for others is of course a good thing. But real empathy accounts to primarily for the feelings of the other person, not just your assumptions about those feelings. Such assumptions are often inaccurate. So it is important to find out who that person actually is, and what they think, before imposing a stereotype on them.
Again, empathy is good. But mature empathy is really about the other, not ourselves and our own emotional needs.
Thank you for your candor and effort to understand.
I have visible handicaps. If we ever meet in an airport, please don’t do anything like that to me. You think you’re being kind. And some folks, even I, would be polite and realize you just don’t really know how at least some people with handicaps perceive this.
Most handicaps are mental and emotional. Imagine scanning the room looking for those! What if I started making assumptions about your emotional needs based on a look on your face? We shouldn’t assume we know. Just because I have physical challenges, which are so much less challenging that the mental or emotional kind, please don’t assume we welcome a stranger making assumptions about us. And perhaps using us to reaffirm their sense of worthiness. Sorry if this is a wake up. Better that we should encourage everyone to take personal agency for their lives, and learn that – when they actually need help – they will let you know. Thank you. You’re good hearted. But a wise good-heartedness truly respects the autonomy and dignity of others and leaves our presuppositions behind.
Thanks for your comments. Of course, it is not so much about asking if we can pray for them, — as it is like just meeting someone on the street and offering unsolicited sympathetic words of kindness towards them. I can see where that could be resented as much as appreciated.
But can engaging in some innocent conversation be deemed offensive as well, because the “injured party” only perceives we are doing so because of their physical condition, and so we want to cheer them up —- or as you put it, “affirm our own sense of worthiness?”
So perhaps it is better we just smile in passing, be on our way, and carry feelings of guilt around for not having said or done something more. I can tell you when I see (for example) homeless people, or profoundly physically disabled people, it makes me feel very low about myself, how I become so troubled or angry over my own lesser problems or inconveniences.
I’m with Abuelo on this. I’m not physically disabled but my experience has been that they don’t want your prayers. Or your pity. They’ve adjusted to their disability and are trying to get on with their lives. They don’t want to focus on their disability, and then you come along to remind them.