Do It For Yourself- You’re Worth It?

Many say you shouldn’t and can’t expect anything from life. Nobody owes you anything. Instead, you should “Do it for yourself. You’re worth it.” Yet, there is something inherently contradictory about telling someone that the universe doesn’t care and in the same breath asking him or her to care about themselves. First, is it true that the universe is indifferent? Second, where do our lives get value from? Finally, what does it mean to be “worth it”?

An Indifferent Universe?

To some extent, Catholics agree that the universe is indifferent. Good and evil are not equal. God is not waging against an equal, evil deity.  A thunderstorm isn’t an angry god–it’s a natural event. While clearly death entered with sin, death itself is not an evil spirit. Paul’s claim, ”death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses” (Romans 5:14) comes with a caveat. As Matt Fradd writes, “As you can see, Paul’s focus here is on death spreading to men. He’s not talking about the death of animals or plants.” Death probably has always existed among the animal and plant kingdoms.

Nonetheless, we can see signs of the fall in the universe. We Catholics do say that Adam and Eve’s disorder has affected nature as well, and all of nature groans for the coming of the Savior. As Paul writes again, “For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God” (Romans 8:19). Surely, God uses natural events to teach us. However, we can also say that he allows them. That is, the hand of God is behind everything. This paradox of allowing and willing is what we believe about God.  We will discuss this more now.

Is God Behind It All?

In Luke 12:6-7, Christ urges his listeners to see every event no matter how small as coming from a good father. They should not worry for

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

If God is a father, what can we expect? A long life and many grandchildren? Why does suffering still seem so present? 

To even begin to understand, We must define the good as something slightly more than physical well-being or prosperity.  St. Paul writes, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Here, he is pointing to a very much nonmaterial good even as it can include a material sense. All things will work for the good even if sometimes material goods seem in peril.

How Can We Love Ourselves?

Recently in my experience, many have pointed out that the scriptural quote “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 12:31) indicates that we ought to love ourselves very much. Also, wouldn’t a lack of regard coming from the universe undermine any attempt to value oneself? To quote Niezstche, “God is dead,” but I still must love myself.  Of course, healthy self-love is possible because of God’s love for us, and because God (the force behind the universe) does care even though we may struggle to understand the events of our lives.

What Does It Mean To Be Worth It?

What does it mean to be “worth it”?  Pride is often praised in our culture, but it is not what the Church tells us to seek. Neither should we seek a  sense of being worthless. Of course, the true virtue is humility. Lately, our culture has swung sharply in the direction of simply seeing all acts as good. Almost any assertion of self is acceptable. Of course, we are all “worth it” but we can also become not worth it. True, humility puts a caveat. We’re worth it in relation to our status as workers in God’s vineyard. 

St. John Damascene stated that “evil is nothing else than absence of goodness, just as darkness also is absence of light.” Evil is an absence of goodness, an absence of being. Engaging in evil actions makes us less “worth it.”  Thus, if society really took its claim seriously that we are “worth it,” it would discourage evil actions.

In conclusion, the often closely joined admonitions “don’t expect anything out of life” and “do it because you’re worth it” are true in some sense. Don’t expect this life to make you happy in a stereotypical way. Don’t even expect the blessings you thought God would give you. Still, expect something from the universe because if you don’t, you won’t be able to do something because you’re worth it. If the universe doesn’t care about you, why should you care about yourself? Even if the universe of matter is indifferent, God, the creator, is not.

Addendum 

After writing this I realized that I’d probably forgotten the most important element. I think in many cases people repeat these admonitions (“don’t expect anything/just do it for yourself; you’re worth it”) in reference to other people. Essentially, they are saying other people will fail you more often than not, so just take care of yourself. Factually, the advice holds water. People are notoriously flakey, uncommitted, and, yes, even evil. However, the advice still seems contradictory. Let’s expect things from others. We have a right to expect this because we have a God-given sense of right and wrong.

Also, often the very people who make the claim that they did it all themselves are the most outraged at society. Their own outrage belies their commitment to the statement. Clearly, they know there is a standard, a certain truth about human behavior. Finally, asking someone to uphold a certain standard of living that he or she shouldn’t even hope for in others seems inherently contradictory.