Continual Conversion: Key to Growth in Sanctification

Conversion–not just a one-time event, but continual–that’s what we’re all called to. Most of us may not have dramatic conversion stories such as St. Paul’s. But we all have the opportunity for continual conversion.

St. Paul’s and Ananias’ Conversions

On the feast of St. Paul’s Conversion, our pastor noted that two conversions actually occurred at that time. In the Acts of the Apostles, we read about St. Paul’s conversion experience when Jesus confronted him on the road to Damascus. (cf. Acts 9:1-9)

And at the same time, Ananias, ”…a disciple at Damascus,” received a vision. In that vision, the Lord enlisted him to lay hands on Paul upon his arrival so Paul would regain his sight. Ananias needed a deeper conversion. Based on Saul’s reputation, Ananias was somewhat reluctant to do this. But, with God’s grace, and his response to grace, Ananias underwent a deeper conversion. He became the chosen instrument of God, to God’s chosen instrument to the Gentiles, kings and sons of Israel! (cf. Acts 9: 10-15)

Conversion–Turning Toward Something

All of us, not just Ananias and Saul, us are called to conversion. Indeed, we’re called to continual conversion. (CCC 1427-1428) In addition to turning from a state of sin to repentance, conversion includes moving to a more fervent way of life, that is, a deeper interior life. (cf. Modern Catholic Dictionary)

Conversatio Morum: The Monastic Perspective

The Rule of St. Benedict requires newcomers to monastic life to promise “stability, conversatio morum, and obedience.” (RB 58:17) Conversatio morum has been the subject of much discussion and writing. Monastic experts have ascribed any number of meanings to this term.

One translation of the term is “fidelity to monastic life.” Essentially conversatio morum or fidelity to monastic life comprises a commitment to growth in virtue and one’s interior life. It entails a turning away from worldly values, and a turning toward, seeking, God. It represents a process of continual conversion.

Through conversatio morum, or conversion of life, the monastic continually turns from sin and toward God. Conversatio morum applies to us as laity, as well as to the monastics. The difference between monastics and the laity is that lay persons don’t do this in the cloister. The laity must live it out in the world.

All In or Only A Little Bit In?

Challenges exist either way. But we all need to embrace continual conversion–whether inside or outside the monastery. That being said, we’ll probably see, in our own lives or those of others, that there are different degrees or stages of conversion. Consider, for example, someone who’s just come back from a life of serious sin and now attempting to avoid all sin. That’s a pretty serious conversion. But, what if they’re a little hesitant about their new status (repentant Christian–loved sinner) among some long-time acquaintances?

In order to avoid being seen as some kind of crazy, Bible-thumper after their conversion, do they eschew talk of all things spiritual? How about the music and movies they take part in with friends? Do these reflect their newly acquired or re-acquired Christian values? Does the recently converted person say grace before meals either in public or in private when with his not-so-converted friends?

In other words, how deep is their conversion at this time? Are they “all in” for Christ, or just “in” for Him privately and in church? We’re all works in progress, no matter where we are in our spiritual journey. God’s grace for deeper conversion is there for the asking. Are we asking, and if so, are we responding to it?

Deeper Conversion

Of course, turning from sin and to growth in virtue are imperative in any effort of conversion. Deeper continual conversion, turning to God and from sin also requires spending time with Him. So, even for those of us who have been practicing Catholics, how much time do we spend to grow in our relationship with Him? By that I mean how much time are we spending in one-on-one relational prayer (mental prayer).

Many good Catholic Christians attend weekend Mass, go to confession occasionally and pray the Rosary and other vocal prayers. But do they spend time listening to Him in relational prayer? Or is it all “talk, talk, talk”? We don’t strengthen relationships with other human beings by avoiding them. Nor do we end up with great relationships if they’re built on one-way communication. Why would we expect to do that with God?

As well, even if we’re attempting to spend time regularly in relational prayer, frequenting the Sacraments, and spiritual reading, what are we doing to cooperate with God’s grace? He, like the sower in the parable at Mk 4:1-20, continually casts his graces out on all of us. Do we accept and respond to them in our interactions with others?

Continue the Continual Conversion Process

We’re all wounded in one way or another. Sin wounds. Our sins, the sins of others–all create wounds. We need to let the Lord help us uncover those wounds so He can help us begin the healing process. This requires being open, honest and vulnerable when we come to prayer. There’s no need for a “game face” when we show up for relational prayer. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

So, be honest about where you’re at as you come to Him in your prayer time. Share with Him what’s going on. He wants us to come to know Him better, and to know ourselves better through Him. It can require courage on our part to lay it all out there. But didn’t He tell already tell us to do that?

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:28-30)

We need to give it over to Him, and let the healing begin and continue. Holding on to old wounds creates obstacles to our continual conversion.

Let the Healing Process Begin

If you find it difficult to begin letting the Lord heal your wounds, get help. Talk to a spiritual director. Ask your confessor for some help if there are no spiritual directors available. But if you do want to talk with the priest about this, make an appointment. This is not a matter to cover while he hears the daily confessions with a line of penitents behind you waiting to go next.

Join Others in Pursuing a Deeper Conversion and Interior Life

Get support from other, like-minded faithful as you pursue the narrow way toward continual, deeper conversion. I mentioned the Benedictine vows and Rule of St. Benedict. Benedictine Oblation has much to commend it. See if you have an abbey or monastery within a few hours of you. If so, look into their Oblate program and the availability of local groups of Oblates to support one another in their faith walk.

In addition to the Benedictines, other religious orders invite the laity to join in their spirituality as well–Franciscans, Dominicans, Carmelites, Apostoli Viae, etc. Anyone living in this world, but not of it, needs all the help he can get. Being part of a “family” of an established religious community is a great blessing. It allows us share our faith with those who share a common approach to spirituality, providing a real boost to our continual conversion. 

“…the inner life becomes very simple from the moment we understand that it consists entirely in losing oneself in Jesus Christ, making only one heart, one soul, one will with His own.” Bl. Columba Marmion, OSB – Union with God