Congrats—You’re Going to Be a Godparent!

Congrats—you’re going to be a godparent! Well, maybe you will, but then again, maybe you won’t. Sometimes unforeseen barriers might prevent you from fulfilling this role. One hurdle we see all too frequently comes from being married outside the Church.

A Fictional Case Study

For example, we’ll first assume that you are a baptized Catholic. If you’re not, under the Canon Law of the Church, you can be a witness, but you can’t participate as a godparent. (CIC 874.2) Next, let’s further assume that you are in your first and only marriage, to keep this discussion simple. You and the love of your life chose to have your marriage presided over by a justice of the peace. Being the romantic twosome you are, you and your spouse exchanged vows in the quaint courtyard of an art museum. Now, years later, a friend or relative honors you immensely. They ask you to be the godparent, that is, the sponsor, for their baby’s baptism. Awesome, right? Hold that thought.

Good Practices Not Followed

The Church requires Catholics who get married to do so in the Church unless they have received dispensation from their bishop prior to being married outside of the Church. (CIC 1108, 1115, 1117) So, continuing with our hypothetical case, we’ll assume that you didn’t ask your bishop if it would be okay to get married outside the Church. For that matter, you may not even have known about this requirement–many do not. When you first considered marriage, your local pastor mentioned something about marriage preparation. However, you didn’t want to wait to go through that process. Besides, you believed that you knew all you needed to know for a good marriage, so you eschewed the prep classes and a wedding at your local church.

Implications for the Aspiring Godparent

Other than living in what the Church considers an invalid marriage, where does this leave you? For one thing, because of it, you probably will not be able to take on the role of a sacramental sponsor at this time. This applies to requests regarding sponsorship at either a baptism or a confirmation. Generally speaking, the Church looks for a godparent or other sponsor to be living “a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on” (CIC 874.1.3).

For another thing, though, you essentially are cohabitating with your spouse. In the eyes of the Church, cohabitation means living together with someone outside of marriage. Thus, if your marriage is not valid, to begin with, then enjoying intimate relations with your spouse is illicit. In other words, you’ve been living in sin and probably didn’t even know it–many do not.

Convalidation: Getting Back on the Godparent Track

This kind of situation needs immediate attention. You may want to consider mounting a multi-pronged strategy after talking with your pastor or a deacon at your parish.  First and foremost, take it to confession. Look at what your pastor or his delegates suggest for marriage preparation to get you ready for a convalidation. Begin that immediately. Live as brother and sister until you can have your marriage convalidated in the Church.

Marriage Preparation for a Married Couple?

Why would someone who has lived in a marriage for years need marriage preparation? Canon Law 1063 states that pastors are obliged to offer assistance for the preservation of the matrimonial state. It lists, among other things, providing personal preparation for people entering into marriage so they understand the holiness and duties of married life. Marriage is a serious spiritual business. It’s a sacrament that involves a covenantal contract between husband and wife that lasts for life. Thus, marriage preparation helps couples get the most out of this beautiful sacrament.

Yes! You’re About to Experience the Sacrament of Marriage

By convalidating your marriage, you actually enter into a sacrament. The US Catholic Catechism for Adults (USCCA) tells us:

The grace of this Sacrament perfects the love of husband and wife, binds them together in fidelity, and helps them welcome and care for children. Christ is the source of this grace and he dwells with the spouses to strengthen their covenant promises, to bear each other’s burdens with forgiveness and kindness, and to experience ahead of time the “wedding feast of the Lamb” (Rev 19:9).

With appropriate preparation, you and your spouse can have your marriage convalidated within or outside of a Mass. This elevates your relationship to a grace-filled sacrament that helps strengthen your marriage. Given the prevailing, cultural hostility toward marriage and family, we can all use some fortification, can’t we?

Something else to consider if you want to be a godparent: you’ll need to be a confirmed member of the Catholic Church to become someone’s sponsor. If you yourself have not been confirmed, you probably will need to have your marriage convalidated before you can become confirmed in most cases. As with so many issues in life, timing plays a key role in all of this. The sooner you have your marriage straightened out, the sooner you can become someone’s sacramental sponsor. These processes can take time, especially if someone needs to be confirmed but first needs to have their marriage convalidated.

Your Role As a Godparent

The role of a godparent or sponsor, whether for baptism or confirmation, is to provide spiritual leadership, encouragement, and example to the person he or she sponsors. This means the sponsor should be living an active faith life. You ought to be regularly attending Mass, receiving the sacraments, praying, and growing in your faith. Of course, you’ll need to commit to staying in touch with the one you’re sponsoring in order to provide the encouragement and accompaniment they need in their faith.

Live Your Spiritual Life Fully

Sponsorship is a serious commitment, but also a very fulfilling one as you see the work the Holy Spirit does in the person you’re sponsoring. Living in the fullness of the sacraments as the godparent or sponsor brings with it many graces and consolations. If you wish to look into any of this in your personal situation, contact your priest or deacon to get the ball rolling. An abundance of graces awaits you!

For a Christian marriage is not just a social institution, much less a mere remedy for human weakness. It is a real supernatural calling. A great sacrament…that sanctifies in cooperation with Jesus Christ. He fills the souls of husband and wife and invites them to follow him. He transforms their whole married life into an occasion for God’s presence on earth (St. Josemaria Escriva).