Balancing Personal Holiness and Community in Christ

Personal development, or self-help, is a growing area of interest in our society. For proof just browse through your local bookstore for books on mental discipline, finding personal happiness, and life hacks. 

It would appear as if self-help programs are truly beneficial. However, there is a pernicious side to self-help efforts that is often overlooked. The danger has to do with the vain ambitions we are too often taught to pursue. These vain ambitions, like pursuit of wealth and fame, motivate us to fulfill our lifelong dreams at the cost of forgetting we are part of communities.

Becoming a celebrity, or a star athlete, or getting rich doing something we love are all encouraged by just about everyone in our lives, whether it be a teacher, parent, mentor, or your favorite actor. The self-improvement philosophy, based on the idea that we ought to seize the day and live life to the fullest because “You only live once,” resonates with many people. It’s no wonder then, that there are dozens of self-help gurus making big bucks trying to improve others’ lives. 

But aren’t we called to do more than simply improve ourselves in the eyes of the world, which usually just means getting smarter, richer and looking better? In fact, as a Christian, too much focus on self-improvement can directly interfere with doing God’s will, allowing Christ to live through us, and dying to ourselves. 

A Member of a Body

In my thirteen years working in faith formation in America, I’ve noticed that many of the messages shared in faith talks and programs are not much different. They also focus on self-improvement. Granted, the area of focus they seek to help you improve in is your personal holiness, but the emphasis is still on the self. In this respect, even pursuing personal holiness can be a vain pursuit. When there is an undue amount of focus on my relationship with God, his mercy for me; my need to have humility, my quest for holiness, even the most sincere efforts to help us draw closer to God miss an essential element. 

Even at huge rallies where hundreds, even thousands, of people come together to talk about the Faith, practical conversations about how to work together as a community after the rally are sometimes lacking. Too much emphasis on growing in personal holiness as an individual can de-empathize an interest in growing together as the Body of Christ.

Now don’t get me wrong, pursuing personal holiness is always a good thing. After all, as St. Francis of Assisi said, “sanctify yourself, and you will sanctify the world.” In fact even Jesus said, “And I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in truth” (John 17:19). 

But arguably the most important step toward sanctity involves getting out of my own way and realizing that I am part of something much greater – the Body of Christ. If there’s too much focus on self-sanctification, it’s easy to forget how living as a member of One Body is essential to holiness. 

Communities Need Holy Leaders

There is also a danger on the other end of the spectrum, though. In Christian communities, there can be too much emphasis on our human relationships and not enough on our relationship with God. We hear often, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (MT 18:20).  Thomas Merton’s words, “No man is an island” also get tossed around in Christian circles quite regularly. 

While all of that is true, too much emphasis on the communal nature of the Faith can cause people to forget the need to pursue personal holiness as well. This has caused many to think that all a church needs is a vibrant community. This often causes that community to neglect the needs of individual souls, like the need for a holy leader.

So there can be a disconnect between the communal aspect of the Faith, and our own personal sanctification. Parishes can become divided between those who want to build community through social justice and outreach, and those who want to emphasize personal holiness with more Eucharistic Adoration and quiet in the church. 

Today our authentic Catholic influence on the culture in America is on the wane.  Perhaps one reason for this is that two of the most powerful aspects of the Faith – community and personal holiness – are causing division. There seems to be an idea that too much emphasis on personal holiness will negatively affect communal faith and vice versa. 

A Revolutionary Concept

Christianity offers the perfect answer to this false dichotomy. Basically, the Christian community ought to help personal holiness and personal holiness ought to help the Christian community. 

Too often personal holiness is associated with introvert activities. Praying alone in a quiet place like an Adoration chapel, reading a spiritual book in our favorite chair, writing in a journal that we don’t let anyone read – these are all common images that come to mind when we think of growing in our relationship with God. All of these exercises in personal holiness can be effective, but since we are part of the Body of Christ, community is also an essential part of personal holiness. Holiness in the Body of Christ means loving our neighbor and enemies, being one as the Father and Son are one (John 17:21). This is a pivotal and revolutionary concept. 

In fact, the right balance between personal development and community can help both Christian communities and individual Christians. Finding this balance can help anyone who is trying to improve in any area of life. 

Despite what the self-help gurus may say, allowing our community to help us is the real way to personally develop any skill. On the flip side of the same coin, following good role models who have mastered their skills, in whatever area, is the best way to strengthen any community built around those skills. No crash course or step-by-step instructions can take the place of real-life witnesses. By improving ourselves we improve the societies we live in, whether that society is our world, nation, state, county, town, church, family, or even just individual relationships. If this idea did not originate with Christianity, Christianity has at least helped share it with the world.

Stepping Outside Myself

When I was about seventeen, I thought I had quite the repertoire of talents. I thought I could run pretty fast, could write better than most, and I could play piano quite well. God and I were on good terms, I thought. With all these talents and gifts, something has to stick when I go out into the world to make a name for myself, I thought. 

But there was always someone faster on the sports teams I joined, always someone who played piano better, and always someone who made my writing seem fair at best.  Even in my pursuit of holiness I felt this envy, seeing people who prayed harder, sacrificed more, and gave more.

If I simply pursued the path of personal development, that envy would have continued in many areas of my life. It would have consumed my will to do good. It would have destroyed my motivation to do anything with my life, even when it came to sanctity.

The only genuine steps I took toward God, ironically, were those I took when I stepped outside of myself. Recognizing how God was at work all around me, through his Body, helped me leave behind my selfish concerns. Sometimes he showed himself through a heart tug for another person, or through another person’s compassion for me. And sometimes he showed himself as I was kneeling before the Eucharist at Mass or in Adoration. Whatever the case though, stepping toward God and outside myself was always one motion. It was if my soul and guardian angel were part of the same dance in those moments.

Striking the Right Balance

Personal development in the Christian life does not work without self-abandonment. Scripture is abundantly clear about this. Jesus said:

 “Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23).

And similarly:

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (MT 16:25).

Also, St. Paul wrote to the Galatians:

“yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me; insofar as I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me” (Gal 2:20).

When I started noticing this, I focused on getting more involved in Church communities. However, I didn’t care much about the ways community outreach ought to help me grow in sanctity. I started a young adult group and a magazine with friends. My goal was to help build up the community of young believers in the Church. It all fell apart, however, because I was more concerned about building community than I was about my own soul.  The necessary balance was missing.  

A Soul Needs a Community

As the Body of Christ, we are part of something greater than anything we can achieve on our own. When we love the Body of Christ, we see everyone’s gifts and talents as beautiful contributions to that Body. We see how it all works together. When someone touches any part of your body, you say they touched you. When we are walking in the dark and feel someone’s shoulder, we usually don’t say, “Is that your shoulder?” We say, “Is that you?” As believers in Christ, we are part of his Mystical Body. Anything that affects that Body affects our personal souls as well.

As St. Paul says:

“Now the body is not a single part, but many.  If [one] part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy” (1 Cor 12:14, 26).

We live in an age when average people truly do have a voice. The Body of Christ can show the world what normal people can do when they come together for something good. At the same time though, we live in a culture that champions individualism. So it is harder to see how working together can help us achieve something as personal as personal holiness. Nonetheless, the Church community can help us grow in personal holiness.  And every soul needs a Church community to do so.

Caravan to Heaven

Because it requires community, Christian holiness helps us forget about our personal plight.  It lets us share in the blessings and hardships of others as we move toward heaven together. In these strange times, many people discourage gathering as a community. Nevertheless, we ought to encourage gathering as a community in the Church because we all need a caravan to heaven. And growing as a community in Christ requires individual growth in holiness from its members. 

This is not some game God plays.  God didn’t design our souls so we are constantly bouncing between personal development and charity toward others. He designed them so the outward life would reflect the inward life. Fulfillment in one is incomplete without fulfillment in the other. Holiness requires the seamless integration of the two.