Apostolate Through a Conversation

A few months ago, I went on an Opus Dei silent, weekend retreat. One of the most memorable talks was on apostolate. A numerary, a celibate member of Opus Dei, gave the talk. I found the stories of conversations at work about faith very entertaining and helpful.  Some of the conversations were with coworkers or bosses. Others were with clients.

Afterward, I sheepishly asked him how I could improve. The fact was that a lot of times I chickened out of bringing up my faith. A case in point was how I had hemmed and hawed about talking about my retreat at work. I’d been rather vague about it, but my colleagues had immediately plummeted me with questions. It had all felt embarrassing and mortifying. Also, who was I to play any kind of holier-than-thou card? These feelings in themselves had been confusing. Was it really right to have this kind of reaction to sharing such a good thing with my coworkers?

The numerary told me it was probably better to doubt oneself than to have a self-righteous feeling about it. It was better to be the humbled tax collector than the self-assured pharisee in the parable (LK 18:9-14). He added that a first step (and maybe not even just a first step) is being brave enough to share one’s faith when it naturally comes up in conversation.

In fact, all of his stories were examples of this. In none of his examples did he come in with prayer cards to distribute to his coworkers or boss. Rather, in all of them, he simply responded to a simple question such as “What are your weekend plans?” One Peter 3:15 tells us,

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

It doesn’t tell us to be ready to initiate a conversation about our faith–though I’m sure the apostles saw a need for this, too. These casual conversations in which we don’t shy away are an example of giving an answer. 

Two Approaches

Thus, one approach is to bring up one’s faith while the second is to simply not hide one’s faith. There’s a time and place for the “bring up” approach, but the “not hiding” approach has some merits. First, it’s safer from the risk of termination from employment as a busybody who inappropriately mixes the “private and public.” Next, it may come across as more genuine and less conniving. Simply answering a question looks much less like a mission to get a quota of converts than inviting everyone to Mass-though, again, time and place exist for a more head-on approach (as the numerary acknowledged).

These potentially awkward moments are always opportunities to present another point of view whether on Opus Dei, the Crusades, or a Church teaching.  Somehow, they frequently lead to more questions. As an introvert, I can find them painful, but I recognize the Holy Spirit is moving.

Trust in God to Help You Survive

The numerary was successful, but had his honesty ever come with a price? Was it really so wise to be that open? I brought up my own, very secular work setting and my fear of being open. As it turned out, he had been passed over for managerial roles before in his career simply for the fact that (as he put it) he wouldn’t be great company for a worldly CEO stuck waiting for a flight at an airport. The bottom line seemed to be that he trusted in God to make things work out for him, and it seemed God had. 

The conversation left me feeling a little silly but also very encouraged. I felt silly for being so embarrassed but it was nice to know that he thought it was at least a good start. He understood my embarrassment and thought I ought to keep pushing past it as much as I could. Well, I thought, we’ll see what happens on Monday.

The Power of Conversation

On Monday, I returned to work and fielded the “How was your weekend?” question, I was more forthright and even managed to tell someone I hadn’t spoken to before leaving a little about it. Not great, but it was a start.

Everyone was by and large more interested in talking about their own weekends. This was somewhat disappointing after I’d imagined not without a little pride the kind of martyrdom I’d go through. Still, just talking about our lives in an open way is often where the apostolate starts.

In fact, the Opus Dei website has this to say about friendship,

Saint Josemaría sees Jesus’ friendship with us as the model for our own apostolate with other men and women. In Jesus, friendship is revealed in its fullness. Jesus reigns by loving, serving, giving his life for his friends.

Hence, friendship based on a sincere desire for the good of the other is where apostolate starts.

Unity of Life

Nowadays, we are hyper-worried about offending people. We’d rather not be that weird guy that goes on retreats. We’d rather respond to personal questions in what we think is the acceptable way. At least, I know I’ve often wanted just that! On top of that, it seems increasingly easy to offend someone just by the fact that one is “religious.”

This leaves a choice between compartmentalizing one’s life or having what in Opus Dei is called a unity of life. St. Josemaria Escriva says,

Any honourable work can be prayer and all prayerful work is apostolate. In this way the soul develops a unity of life, which is both simple and strong” (Christ is Passing By, no. 10).

It’s not easy at times to answer a simple question about one’s free time but it shows the world this unity.