Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin?

The common phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin” is often used by Christians as a way to deal with or look at a brother or sister that is living in sin, has separated themselves from the Church, or any other host of acceptable sins in our society, that is, sins that won’t put one behind bars – you know, those prisoners that Christ says are He Himself, “I was a prisoner, and you came to visit me” (Matthew 25:36).

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” is generally used to calm the indignation we have towards friends, family or strangers who reject the gospel, either from us or in general. What could turn off a lapsed Catholic, a couple living in fornication, an elderly miser, or an addict more than such a phrase?  Does it not carry the tone of high and mighty?  St Paul was knocked off his high horse for such thinking, a looking down on another.  Sure, one may argue that Paul gives the laundry list of the sinners that are excluded from Heaven, but it’s insane to compare our small lay position to that of THE super-Apostle, St Paul (1 Cor 6:9-20).  We may partake in his zeal, but it’s important to realize there was none quite like, or ever will be like him.

Jesus says,

You take note of the speck in your neighbors eye, but don’t take note of the log in your own.  First take the log from your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from theirs (Matthew 7:3-5).

Notice Jesus still calls it a “speck,” even after we clean up our act. Essentially, he’s saying that the desire to clean them up may leave altogether.  Removing our chaos heals their chaos.  Jesus may well have used that saying from years ago, especially by the World War II generation, “You’re way out of line, son!”  Don’t you just love that old school, black-and-white thinking?  Our World War II vets were amazing priests, too!  No grey area, which ironically, many youth today seek that old-school, straightforward, The Baltimore Catechism thinking over the new, more elaborate and flowery language/thought of the present Catechism. Although The Catechism of the Catholic Church is a sure norm for morals and theology, despite the prerequisite of a Masters in Literature to read it, it is supposed to be a book for the common layperson!

A statement by St Francis de Sales fits hand-in-glove with Christ’s admonition above:

Bear in mind that the bee while making its honey lives upon a bitter food: and in like manner we can never make acts of gentleness and patience, or gather the honey of the truest virtues, better than while eating the bread of bitterness, and enduring hardness (Introduction to the Devout life, Chpt 3, Part 3).

A hermit many years ago once quoted an ancient saying of the desert fathers, “One can be pure as an angel, but proud as the devil!”  That’s a sobering thought, pun intended!  St. Alphonsus de Ligouri related a story of an abbot who was too harsh on a monk, and lost his mind for a while as punishment by God for severity towards this monk, who struggled with chastity. That’s advice from the 1700s!

When we say “love the sinner, hate the sin,” does that really carry the tone and compassion of the Word, especially where God says through His prophet Isiah,

He will not cry out or raise His voice, nor make His voice heard in the streets.  A bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not extinguish (Isiah 42:2-3).

Christ said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  That’s the way to look at anyone.  In the words of Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, our neighbor is anyone, not just a neighbor we live next to.  Our neighbor’s the person who cuts us off in traffic, or the person we do the very same thing to at times.  Everyone likes down-to-earth people. Again, in the words of Sheen, regarding how we should look at sinners, “No one likes to be inspected as though they were a bug!”  What could repulse to-be converts more than someone using their Bible like a giant magnifying glass on the ants in the schoolyard below them?

We should speak like the good thief who was on the cross next to Christ, who understood we’re all under the same sentence of original sin, and believe you me, many may not make a confiteor in the confessional, but do they ever have an intuitive knowledge of God, and a respect for Him oftentimes excelling even the most holy and hidden cloistered monk or nun.  I’ve seen stray sheep exercise more reverence towards Jesus’ Name than a missionary of The Holy Name Society.  When Archbishop Sheen first visited a prison, he said to the inmates to break the ice, “The only difference between us is that you got caught and I didn’t!” Many laughed in response.  Sheen fully understood what it means to be a Christian.

On the other side of the coin, it’s also important to note that Sheen was adamant about how lenient
modern society is towards the criminal over the innocent. Venerable Fulton J. Sheen (soon to be
Blessed Fulton J. Sheen!) was often indignant in his preaching, indignant on behalf of another,
not himself. In his own words, our anger is only justifiable if it’s on behalf of another.
Paraphrasing Deacon Dr Bob McDonald, as was the case with Christ in the temple, not giving
into a self-indulgent rage, but rather indignant on behalf of His Father’s house. These events of the
preaching of Sheen, a modern Apostle, and Christ are perfect examples of righteous indignation.

In closing, it goes without saying that we are to hate sin, and fraternal correction is an act of mercy too, but it must be done with charity, as St. Francis de Sales states:

So we must not only speak gently to our neighbor, but we must be filled, heart and soul, with gentleness; and we must not merely seek the sweetness of aromatic honey in courtesy and suavity with strangers, but also the sweetness of milk among those of our own household and our neighbors; a sweetness terribly lacking to some who are as angels abroad and devils at home!  (Introduction to the Devout Life, Chpt. 7 Book 8).

In a word, as G.K. Chesterton said, “we’re all in the same boat, and we’re all seasick.”