Thomas Merton on Loving People Who Do Bad Things

One of the most important teachings in Christianity is simple to say but very hard to do: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus Christ taught this, but it becomes really confusing when we see terrible things happening in the world.

How can Christians follow the command to love everyone when there is so much cruelty, unfairness, violence, and hate? How is it possible to love people who do things that hurt others badly? Can we still believe God loves everyone even when people cause so much pain?

A wise monk and writer named Thomas Merton thought a lot about these tough questions. Merton lived in the 20th century and spent much time in quiet prayer and thought, but he also paid attention to the problems in the world. He wrote about how to understand love, how God (or Christ) is present in every single person, and how we need to change ourselves to see God’s love, even in people who do wrong. Merton helps us look deeper than just reacting angrily and guides us toward a harder, but more meaningful, kind of love based on how God loves.

Finding God’s Spark in Everyone

Merton’s big idea starts with a basic Christian belief: God lives inside every person. This isn’t just a nice thought; it comes from the idea that God created every human “in his image.” This means everyone has a connection to God, a kind of divine spark inside them, no matter what they’ve done. Merton believed that if we really take time to think and pray deeply, we start to see this spark, even if it’s hidden by bad choices, brokenness, or hurtful actions. Even in people who seem totally bad, the basic fact that God created them remains.

Merton said something powerful: “To say that I am made in the image of God is to say that love is the reason for my existence.” He connected being made by God directly to love. If we are made in God’s image, and God is love, then love is the whole point of why we are here. And if that’s true for us, Merton said, it must be true for everyone else too, no matter how much they mess up. He wrote that we have to accept that “every person, no matter how sinful, is also made in the image of God.”

God’s Love

This idea gets support from how the Bible describes God’s love. God doesn’t just love good people. The apostle Paul wrote that God showed His love by having Christ die for us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). God’s love isn’t something we earn; it’s a gift He gives freely, even to people who reject Him or do terrible things. Christ died for everyone, which means God sees everyone as worth saving. This sets a very high bar for how Christians should try to love. We are called to love more than just the people who are easy to love. We have to try to see even the person who seems completely lost as someone valuable, someone God cares about.

But let’s be real: this is hard. How can you see God’s image in someone who commits violence or spreads hate? Does thinking they have God’s spark mean we ignore their bad actions or let them off the hook? Merton didn’t say it was easy or that we should ignore evil. He suggested we try to look with “eyes of faith,” trying to see past the bad behavior to the person God created underneath. It means believing God might still be present, even when it’s hard to see.

Letting Go of Ourselves to See Others Clearly

If we want to see that divine spark in others, Merton taught that we need to practice “self-emptying.” This idea comes from the Bible, where it says Jesus “emptied himself” when he became human, giving up his divine power to live humbly and even die for others (Philippians 2:7-8).

For us, emptying ourselves means letting go of the things inside us that block love.

But what are those things? Our ego (thinking too much about ourselves), our habit of judging others all the time, our fixed ideas about people, our desire to get even when someone hurts us, and the fear and anger we feel towards those who do wrong.

Merton wrote, “The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves.” This doesn’t mean letting people do harmful things. It means giving up our need to control them or force them to be who we want them to be. It means trusting that God can work in their lives, and focusing on changing ourselves instead of just judging them.

Humility

This takes a lot of humility – realizing we aren’t perfect either. We have to admit that how we see others is often colored by our own problems, fears, and past hurts. We sometimes judge others harshly because of our own issues. When we realize we also make mistakes and need forgiveness, it helps us feel more connected to others, even those who have done wrong things. Instead of feeling superior, we can feel more understanding.

Practices like prayer, meditation, or just being quiet can help with this self-emptying. They help us notice all the judgmental thoughts and selfish feelings running through our minds. By getting quiet inside, we create space to feel God’s presence more clearly – in ourselves and in others, even the difficult ones. This can lead to what Merton called “radical love” – a love that doesn’t follow normal human rules of fairness (“I’ll love you if you love me”) but tries to heal and connect instead of just blaming.

The Hard Work of Loving People Who Do Wrong

It’s super important to understand: loving someone who does evil does NOT mean we approve of their actions. It doesn’t mean we forget the harm they caused, and it doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be justice. Making things right, holding people accountable for their actions, and protecting others are also part of loving the community. Bad actions have real consequences, and we need systems that deal with wrongdoing fairly.

But Merton believed that even when seeking justice, we should always aim for what’s ultimately best for the person, which includes the possibility that they might change and be redeemed. The best example is Jesus on the cross. While suffering terribly because of injustice, he prayed, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

This amazing act of love doesn’t excuse the wrong actions, but it shows a bigger view – seeing the ignorance and brokenness behind the actions and keeping the door open for forgiveness. Merton agreed with this, saying that real love wants the sinner to change for the better, not just be destroyed or punished forever. This idea challenges systems that only focus on punishment and suggests we should also look for ways people can heal and be restored, even if it seems unlikely.

So, when we choose to love those who do evil, we aren’t ignoring their sin. Instead, we are following St. Paul’s advice: ” Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

Fight Evil With Love

Loving the person who did wrong is actually a way to fight against evil’s power. If we respond with hate, wanting revenge, or treating the wrongdoer as less than human, we just keep the cycle of hurt going. But if we refuse to let the bad action define the whole person, if we hold onto hope that they could change, and if we choose understanding over hatred, we can break that cycle. We refuse to let evil win by turning us hateful too. Instead, we try to overcome evil with the surprising power of love.

Nobody pretends this is easy. It goes against our instincts of self-protection or anger when we or others are hurt. Loving an enemy – someone who betrayed us, or someone who committed a crime – isn’t about having warm, fuzzy feelings. Often, it’s a tough choice we make because of our faith, something we have to keep working at, asking God for help to avoid becoming bitter. It’s one of the hardest parts of being a Christian, asking us to let go of our own reactions and try to love like God loves – a love that costs something.

Why Merton’s Ideas Still Matter Today

In our world today, there’s a lot of fighting between groups, anger in politics, wars, and terrible violence we see in the news. Merton’s ideas about loving people who do wrong are more important than ever.

Merton pushes us to look past the labels we put on people (“enemy,” “terrorist,” “criminal”). He says we should see, instead, the human being underneath, someone who, like us, God also created. His idea of “emptying ourselves” is a good cure for the judgmental attitude that causes so much conflict. His call to want people to change for the better, rather than just be destroyed, offers a different way to think than the angry, dehumanizing talk we often hear.

Merton also wrote a lot about peace, non-violence, and talking with people from different religions. These writings fit perfectly with his ideas about love. He knew that real peace can’t be built on hate or by excluding anyone. It requires the hard, patient work of seeing the divine spark in everyone and trying our best to love like God does.

Conclusion: The Never-Ending Task of Love

Trying to love people who do bad things is one of the toughest parts of Christian faith. It means balancing the reality of evil and the need for justice with the belief that God’s image is in everyone and that love can change things.

Thomas Merton doesn’t give us simple answers, but he points us in a deeper direction. He reminds us to look for Christ or God’s spark in everyone. He shows us that letting go of our own ego and judgment is necessary if we want to see others with love. And he admits that it’s a huge struggle. It pushes us toward a love like Christ’s – a love that wants people to be saved, not condemned, and that overcomes evil with good.

This isn’t a path for the weak; it takes real spiritual strength. It’s a lifelong journey into understanding God’s amazing love, always trying, with God’s help, to live out that radical, difficult love that has the power to change the world.