Dear Newlyweds

Dear Newlyweds speaks of marriage and parenthood with moving and deeply respectful admiration and esteem.  Since the 1970s, I have encountered Catholics (clergy, religious, and laity) who instead acted/talked as though

• sexual acts are NOT exclusively reserved for married couples,
• sexual acts need NOT always be open to life, and
• marriage itself is NOT indissoluble.

The Church counters these misconceptions by reminding us that marriage is not only a vocation but also a sacrament:

The polyphony of diverse charisms and vocations that the Christian community recognizes and accompanies helps us to appreciate more fully what it means to be Christians. As God’s people in this world, guided by his Holy Spirit, and as living stones in the Body of Christ, we come to realize that we are members of a great family, children of the Father and brothers and sisters of one another. We are not self-enclosed islands but parts of a greater whole.  In this sense, the World Day of Prayer for Vocations has a synodal character: amid the variety of our charisms, we are called to listen to one another and to journey together in order to acknowledge them and to discern where the Spirit is leading us for the benefit of all (Pope Francis, Message for the World Day of Prayer for Vocations, 4/21/24)

among the diverse states and callings of Christian life there are only two for which Our Lord has instituted a sacrament….even the most humble marriage, solemnized perhaps in a poor and remote little country church or in a plain and humble chapel….is exactly the same in its sacramental dignity as the magnificence of a solemn priestly ordination performed in a majestic cathedral, thronged with clergy and laity including the Ordinary of the diocese himself, resplendent in his pontifical vestments. Holy Orders and Matrimony, as you know, climax and conclude the enumeration of the seven sacraments ….In the Christian formation of little souls, which Our Lord will entrust to you by breathing life into the bodies you have formed, there is reserved a role for you, a teaching role, to which you are not allowed to be indifferent and in which no one can fully substitute for you” (Pope Pius XII, The Priesthood and Matrimony, 1/15/1941

Background

In 1961, Bianca and James Murray translated and published 62 of 79 Pope Pius XII’s audiences with newlyweds. St. John Paul II’s later Theology of the Body audiences were developed from notes for a book on which he was working before he became pope.  As Pope Pius XII did not have a similar master plan, the Murrays present the audiences by topic.

Dear Newlyweds consists of three sections: Husband and Wife, Home and Family, and The Family and God.  The entire work can be found at a Catholic Culture website.

Section One: Husband and Wife

Husband and Wife is divided into six parts: The Sacrament and the Rite, Facing the Future, Learning to Live Together, True Love & What It Means, Marriage is Forever, and Fidelity in Marriage.  It reviews such jewels as the Wedding at Cana, the role of the Blessed Mother, the wedding liturgy, the elevation of marriage to a sacrament, the spouses as ministers of the sacrament, union with God, and “three precious gifts from God, enumerated by St. Augustine: marital fidelity (fides), sacramental grace (sacramentum), and the procreation of children (proles).”

Section Two: Home and Family

Home and Family is divided into three parts: the Perfect Home, Establishing the Home, and the Family, evidencing awe and profound respect for the sacrament and vocation.

Section Three: The Family and God

The Family and God section is divided into three parts: Holiness in the Family, Heavenly Patrons of the Family, and the Family and Prayer, not letting up on awe and profound respec

Conclusion

Reading Dear Newlyweds leaves me with a feeling of closeness with the late Pius XII and familiarity with his compassion for humanity.  He was trying to lead people to Heaven, reminding all of the magnificent path God left for most lay people.

That Dear Newlyweds is not better known is undoubtedly related to ignorant, unmerited, and widespread disregard for Pius XII, who has been wrongly labeled as a Nazi sympathizer.  While it is NOT my intent to deal with such libel, he has received very competent defenses even from non-Catholics (e.g., Rabbi David Dalin, Eric Metaxas (Episcopalian))!

As somewhat of an aside, is there some sort of embargo on smiling images of Pope Pius XII?  At New York City’s St Patrick’s Cathedral, “A wax effigy of Pope Pius XII in a glass case once stood in the narthex, with His Holiness wearing the Triple Tiara that he gave to Cardinal Spellman to serve as a means of fundraising; the effigy was so [austere and] lifelike that it fooled many a tourist into thinking it was actually the preserved body of the Pope himself.”  I vividly recall being frightened by this effigy, when I was about six years of age.  What was up with this?  For anyone promoting the notion that Pius XII is evil or cowardly, it certainly helps to not have too many smiling images in circulation!

The greatest tribute we can pay to Pope Pius XII is to return to speaking of God’s gifts of marriage and parenthood with awe and esteem.  Catholics (clergy, religious, and laity) need to embrace authentic marriage as the awesome sacrament/vocation that it is and firmly resume announcing that

• sexual acts are exclusively for married couples,
• sexual acts must always be open to life, and
• marriage itself is indissoluble.

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