What Are You Going To Do About It?

“But what are you going to do about it?” The question was posed by a confessor from the Fathers of Mercy after discussing a bad habit the penitent was trying to break.

What Will You Change?

Going to confession, confessing the bad habit with sorrow and a sincere purpose of amendment—a desire to change—hadn’t been working. The priest discerned this through the brief interchange in the confessional. So he continued poking, asking what what the penitent would be doing differently to change their behavior.

Accountability and Consequences

The priest actually helped craft a plan of attack right there on the spot. He asked the penitent if they enjoyed having a beer or wine when they got home from work at the end of the day.  “Then, any day on which you fall into this habitual behavior, let your penance be that you will not imbibe that evening when you get home.”

Self-Denial

The habit the penitent was working to overcome was using what some people euphemistically call “colorful language.” With the penance Father imposed, the penitent would forfeit an evening beer or vino on any day where they had made a slip of the tongue.

Discern by the Fruits

This wise priest’s solution worked like a charm! Within about thirty days, the habit was broken. We are all creatures of habit. We build up habits over time, and changing them can be difficult. Good habits we refer to as virtues. Bad habits become vices. What bad habit are you most continually struggling with and taking to confession? And, to borrow that priest’s question, what are you going to do about it?

More Change Needed?

Through ongoing prayer, discernment and discussions with a spiritual director or confessor, from time to time each of us will identify other habits we would do well to eliminate. Often these habits involve patterns of thinking. Some of us have ongoing negative thought patterns and emotions associated with them—irritation, aggravation, judgmentalism, and so on. Fill in the blank—they will vary from person to person. If you are free from such afflictions, give praise to God. If not, what are you going to do about them?

Blessed Are You?

In his commentary on the Beatitudes (Matt 5:1-12), Ludolph of Saxony makes some points that might benefit anyone who wants to change their ways of thinking. In discussing the sixth Beatitude, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” he notes that a clean heart is one in which no evil thoughts arise.

Going on to the seventh Beatitude, “Blessed are the peacemakers…”, we’re told that if we empty our inner self of sin, we will have peace within our self. We make peace interiorly first by expelling all our evil thoughts, words and deeds as soon as we become aware of them. Are you striving for more inner peace? What are you going to do about it?

Guard Those Thoughts

The Desert Fathers and Mothers, individuals who went out into the desert to live an eremitical lifestyle, knew that a lot of the battle for our purification and sanctification is fought in our thoughts. Not all of our thoughts come from us. Some are from the enemy of human nature, some are ours, perhaps influenced by the enemy. Some are from God. We need quiet time with God to accurately discern what’s coming from where and from whom.

There can be times when we experience desolation that is caused or enhanced by the demons. In those times we will benefit by rejecting, rebuking and renouncing those spirits, thoughts and emotions in Jesus’ name. We’re all in a spiritual battle for our souls. We need to recognize it and act on it.

Do You Want to Change?

Yet, we also need to know when to step back and discern what we might be doing to cause our own problems. As Pogo, the cartoon character said, (for those of us old enough to remember), “we have met the enemy and he is us.”

So, of course, we reject, rebuke and renounce the enemy of human nature—but—we need also to accept responsibility for the changes we need to make to get closer to God. If you have an ongoing, repeated pattern of sin you’re taking to confession, maybe asking God to help you understand why would be helpful.

You see, at times we may say we want to change, but deep down, there’s something about the habit that appeals to us somewhere, somehow. Perhaps, like so many of the characters in The Great Divorce, we really want to get back on the bus. We don’t want to accept God’s invitation to what’s better.

A Philippians 4:13 Moment

Assuming then, that you really do want to change, and with God’s grace you desire to break the chains holding you back from deeper union with Him, what’s next? Regardless of whether the habit you’re going to conquer with God’s grace is one of thoughts, words or deeds, it’s important to take the first step and recognize that it is a problem. And recognize that only with God’s grace can you overcome it.

Remember that we have a Father who loves us infinitely, at a level impossible to imagine. He created us in His image and likeness, and loves us so much, He sent His only Son to redeem us. Jesus gave us the commandment to love one another as He loves us. This covers what we do with our thoughts, words and deeds–any and all of those habits we need to change. His grace will carry us through in all of this as we continue on the path toward union with Him. We can’t do it alone, but we can do it with Him.

Take Immediate Action

So, take the issue to prayer and see where the Lord leads you. Discuss it with your spiritual director or regular confessor. If you’re struggling to get rid of sinful thinking habits, consider immediately stopping whatever thoughts are going on as soon as you are aware of them.

Replace the negative thinking with something positive–a statement of gratitude, for example. Or if the negative thought is directed toward another, look for something positive in them. As well, consider a short prayer, even just invoking the name of Jesus or the name of Our Blessed Mother, Mary. Or, perhaps say the Jesus Prayer.

Discern a meaningful act of penance. Prayerfully reflect on what sort of penance you might put in place each time you catch yourself. For example, what might you deny yourself? Food, drink, some hobby or entertainment activity, social media, or…? Share this plan with your director, confessor or an accountability partner. Explain to them what you are going to do about it; enlist their support.

“O Lord…help me to bring forth worthy fruits of penance so that I may make satisfactory atonement for all my sins while I am still alive in this world…” Prayer of St. Albert the Great