Confession: A Source of Peace and Joy

Stories about how different people are coping with this over a year-old “new normal” are rife, ranging from (mis)adventures in baking bread to binge-watching nearly every TV series ever made. Many in-person events became virtual out of necessity: classes, meetings, family get-togethers – even the Holy Mass. People did what they had to do to manage and get through the strangeness of these pandemic times. I too have found a way, not just to survive, but to begin to thrive. Every week, for the past few months, I have been going to confession.

A Bit Much, Perhaps?

Most people think nothing of athletes being engaged in several hours of training every day. A regimen of discipline and practice is expected to be a normal part of an athlete’s life. Going for a daily workout in the gym – not possible in Ontario, Canada right now, but hypothetically speaking – would not be odd for one who is trying to stay healthy and fit.

In as much as these two examples mentioned have to do with one’s physical health, the same disposition of wanting to better oneself and improve can be applied to the health of one’s soul. After all, Saint Paul himself wrote in his letter to Timothy:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

As far as our faith and our souls are concerned, we are in fact in a race – we are spiritual athletes and the prize worth fighting for is God Himself. Confession is one of the most important and precious ways to be stronger and prepared to fight the good fight. Frequent confession is far from being too much – I have found it to be necessary and a blessing. Yet, the very thought of confessing my sins often makes me dread this moment.

Have Courage and Confess

At a Wednesday audience in St. Peter’s Square on February 19, 2014, Pope Francis said:

“Everyone say to himself: ‘When was the last time I went to confession?’ And if it has been a long time, don’t lose another day! Go, the priest will be good. And Jesus, (will be) there, and Jesus is better than the priests – Jesus receives you. He will receive you with so much love! Be courageous, and go to confession. (…) Even embarrassment is good. It’s healthy to have a bit of shame… it does us good, because it makes us more humble.”

Embarrassment is part and parcel of my experience of this most wonderful sacrament. Sometimes, the thought crosses my mind that I should apologize to the priest for confessing the very same sins I had mentioned the previous week….and the week before that….and the week before…. You get the picture.

My pride is quick to remind me that the priest will be hearing a repeat of what I have said over and over again. Yet, the best way to cut off the head of this nasty pride is to make a good confession. Humility is very good for the soul.

During a Pandemic

I have found humility to be a frequent companion these days – not by choice. Many times, I grow tired of wearing a mask or not being able to do certain things I used to do before Covid-19 entered our lives. When this happens, I find myself with a more negative disposition than is healthy for my soul. I know this because suddenly, everything becomes gloomy and burdensome. I become an unhappier, less loving version of myself.

It is frequent confession which has reigned in my pride and sadness. As embarrassed as I am at times to be confessing what seems to be a rerun of sins, this sacrament of healing makes me happy and feel liberated afterward. What a gift it is to be able to have this way of reconciling with God and knowing that we have been forgiven our sins!

Beloved Prodigal Child

In the parable of the prodigal son, I am always moved by the image of the prodigal son’s homecoming and attempt to deliver his rehearsed apology:

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.  And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet and bring the fatted calf and kill it and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to make merry. (Luke 15:20-24)

Although it does not seem as if the younger son’s practiced apology is listened to by his father, it was these planned words which likely gave him to courage to return home. He was the one who needed to hear himself say those very words because they made his remorse more tangible and real.

The same is true in a sincere confession. God already knows what we have done and what we are to say. It is we ourselves who benefit from the act of confessing our sins and being truly sorry for them. This becomes our act of love for our Father God, Who sees us coming from miles away and Whose arms are outstretched in anticipation of the spiritual embrace He gives us during the sacrament of reconciliation.

If You Want to Be Happy

There are many different ways to cope with the difficulties and challenges we all face these days. In our desire to be more active, more creative, or happier, let us not forget that true joy comes from within our hearts and souls. One of the best ways I know how to make this happen is to go to confession frequently. I hope you try it soon! May it be a source of peace and joy for you as it has been and continues to be so for me, and a loving reminder of God’s providence and mercy.