Peter or Judas: Hanging or Hope?

Jennifer Hartline - Hope and Hanging

\"Jennifer

\”Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, \”Greetings Rabbi!\” and kissed him. Jesus replied, \”Friend, do what you came for.\” Matthew 26:49-50

\”Peter replied, \”Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.\” \”I tell you the truth,\” Jesus answered, \”this very night you will disown me three times.\” But Peter insisted emphatically, \”Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.\” And all the others said the same. Mark 14:29-31

Peter and Judas are not all that different, it seems. They are almost the same story, but for two very different endings. It could be our own story… which end will we choose?

Betraying Jesus wasn\’t the worst thing Judas did. As painful as that offense was, it was not Judas\’ downfall. His ruin came because he lost hope; he either did not believe in forgiveness or did not trust it would be given him or he decided he could not, would not forgive himself, and so he gave in to despair. It seems like his despair was proof of his great sorrow for what he had done to his friend and Lord, but it\’s not the sorrow Jesus wants from us.

Sorrow that is profitable for our souls leads us toward the One we have betrayed. If our sadness is merely disappointment with ourselves for having failed (which is pride) then we will choose to beat ourselves into despair and call it our just punishment. But then, why did Jesus die? If we can be punished enough to atone for our sin, then the Cross was a waste of perfect blood and Jesus a fool.

Jesus does not wait with a stick to beat me, nor does He unload on me a lecture about how I\’ve failed. It is not proof of my love for Him to dwell on my failures or nitpick my flaws and defects. It is not proof of the depth of my sorrow to say, \”I just can\’t forgive myself.\” If I cannot forgive myself, it simply means I prefer my wounded pride over His suffering. He suffered greatly at my expense; He was crucified for my sake. \”He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.\” Isaiah 53:5

If I now refuse to receive His forgiveness and get up and try again, I am saying His suffering wasn\’t enough. His wounds are insufficient for my healing. The punishment He endured has brought peace for others, but not for me. I may deceive myself into thinking I am humbling myself, feeling the weight of my sin and bearing it nobly, but Jesus grieves all the more because I choose despair over hope.

Judas\’ betrayal of Jesus was a truly terrible act, but it was not so different from Peter\’s denial of Jesus. Both men surely felt great remorse, shame, and bitter sadness at what they had done to their Master and Friend. Perhaps Peter wished for his own death just as Judas did, thinking for a moment it was the only way out of his guilt. The only difference was that Peter chose hope, and Judas chose despair. Judas refused the forgiveness he could have received. His fate was not sealed by his kiss, but by his pride.

Every one of his disciples that night left Him, denied Him and betrayed Him in some way. Judas\’ sin garners the most attention because it seems so much more scandalous than the others, but we miss the point if we only see his act of greed and not the true cautionary lesson. They all abandoned Him in one way or another, just as we do. They all betrayed Him to some degree, just as we do. They all surely were sorrowful, scared, and filled with regret over their sins, just as we are. But only Judas chose guilt over redemption.

How tempting it is and how the enemy of our souls loves to deceive us into believing that the forgiveness Jesus offers is a fairytale. It\’s crazy how we often choose to wallow in self-pity thinking it is humility. It isn\’t. It is the enemy convincing us to make a mockery of the Cross. The truth is, we have sinned. You have, I have. You will again; I will again. In big and small ways, we will all wound Him and run away. The truth also is, He died knowing that; He died because of that; He died to heal that. There is only one response from us that is needed, only one response that will benefit our souls; to run back to Him and try again.

Judas, upon realizing his sin, gave back his silver and ran to hang himself in a tree out of despair. Peter, after weeping bitterly over his sin, ran toward the tomb where His Lord was buried, hoping. And Jesus showed Peter extra care and tenderness through the angel: \”Go, tell his disciples, and Peter…\”

Was not the same compassion available to Judas? Of course it was. But like everything Jesus gives to us, it must be taken by us freely. We can\’t cling to sin with one hand and forgiveness with the other, believing we are pious and humble. And it is Satan, not Jesus, who berates us with our failings til we are stuck in prideful despair. Judas only lacked hope because he lacked humility.

It doesn\’t matter how many times I fail or fall down or deny Him provided I run back to Him each time and humbly begin again without indulging in \”oh, woe is me.\” Jesus knows I will do the very thing I vowed not to do; I will sleep when I promised to keep watch with Him; I will leave when I promised to stay. Yet He is always waiting for me to return and ask for His grace once more. This does not give me an excuse to sin or a \”free pass\” to go my own way, do my own thing and then come insincerely to take forgiveness when my conscience is guilty – that is simply rebellion.

But if I truly desire to follow Him, if I say I love Him and mean it, then my sorrow over my sin must compel me toward Him, like Peter as he ran to the tomb. Seeing how Peter was received by Jesus, with forgiveness and love, gives each of us confidence that He waits for us with mercy and affection.

\”Don\’t be anxious to condemn yourself every time you fall. Instead, patiently, gently, pick yourself up and start all over again. Why are you surprised when the weak turn out to be weak, and the frail, frail? When you turn out to be sinful? When you fall, be gentle with your frail, weak heart. Lift your heart gently, accept your failure without wallowing in your weakness. Admit your guilt in God\’s sight. Then with good heart, with courage and confidence in His mercy, start over again.\” St. Francis de Sales

© 2013. Jennifer Hartline. All Rights Reserved.

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13 thoughts on “Peter or Judas: Hanging or Hope?”

  1. ” I may deceive myself into thinking I am humbling myself, feeling the weight of my sin and bearing it nobly, but Jesus grieves all the more because I choose despair over hope.”

    Obviously you have never worked in the field of mental health where up to 40%
    of those afflicted with despair attempt suicide or succeed. To overcome the drive
    of self preservation requires a sorrow too deep to comprehend.

  2. Gresu,
    Which sin is worse: Congar peeing on a door ( if factual) or calling an Ecumenical Council terrorist?
    Does peeing on the door have any bearing at all on Congar’s point that Counciliar statements can be incomplete? No. Aquinas did not pee on any doors but he influenced many Popes to affirm burning heretics who you now trust with everything from brake jobs to heart transplants. Christ singled out the heretical Samaritans in both a parable and in His noting that only the Samaritan leper thanked Him out of ten cured lepers. The epistles say to ignore heretics after two or three warnings…not ignite them which “Splendor of the Truth” denounces implicitly in section 80. Second warning…your extremism fed by a pan infallibility of Popes of the distant past on morals…risks your salvation. Here is Ludwig Ott prior to Vatican II noting that Popes are not always infallible in morals in the ordinary magisterium…from the Intro to Fundamentals of the Catholic Faith, sect.8’s ending:

    ” With regard to the doctrinal teaching of the Church it must be well noted that not all the assertions of the Teaching Authority of the Church on questions of Faith and morals are infallible and consequently irrevocable. Only those are infallible which emanate from General Councils representing the whole epis­ copate, and the Papal Decisions Ex Cathedra (c£ D 1839). The ordinary and usual form of the Papal teaching activity is not infallible. Further, the decisions ofthe Roman Congregations (Holy Office, Bible Commission) are not infallible. Nevertheless normally they are to be accepted with an inner assent which is based on the high supernatural authority of the Holy See (assensus internus
    supernaturalis, assensus religiosus). The so-called U silentium obiequiosum.” th It is ” reverent silence.” does not generally suffice. By way of exception. the obligation of inner agreement may cease if a competent expert, after a renewed scientific investigation o f all grounds, arrives at the positive conviction that the decision rests on an error.”

    1. If Vatican 2 council was Holy Spirit inspired as you say, why
      is there so much destruction:

      Countless Catholic churches gutted out, sold, closed down or
      demolished?

      Countless seminaries closed and low admissions to the New
      Rite of Ordination?

      Countless parochial schools closed and no sisters to teach?

      Graduates from ‘Catholic’ universities and colleges have
      less faith than when they entered?

      Annulments handed out like candy?

      Female students at claimed Catholic universities and
      colleges more promiscuous than there peers?

      Birth controlling considered acceptable practice? (No
      presbyter or ‘bishop’ givess homilies on
      the sin of birth controlling.)

      Conciliarists not opposed to abortion? (It was after all, the conciliarists that
      elected and re-elect Obama and the U S bishops giving millions of dollars to
      ACORN).

      Giving ‘personhood’ and special protections to homosexuals
      in the conciliar religion? (See: Austrian
      “Cardinal” Schönborn reportedly intervened with the Prince of
      Liechtenstein NOT to Oppose Homosexual “Civil Unions” in 2011.)

      The Seven Sacrament’s form and matter changed to no longer
      give grace of the sacrament they signify?

      The predatory priest crime circle covered over and protected by
      the hierarchy destroying millions of victims’ faith and souls?

      Circus Masses…….?

      And so much more………….

      The “Desire to Destroy” is so prevalent. As a former conciliarist I never had an
      interest to read the 16-Vat 2 documents.
      It was the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass that moved me out of the new
      worldly religion of Vat 2 and into the One Holy Catholic and Church.

    2. Gresu,
      You don’t retain what the other person said…never said “inspired”.
      Get to a monastery within the Church and bring copies of all your posts. Talk to an abbot or monk. Your list above does not flow from Vatican II. You feel singular by taking a radical position but that’s not always good; according to Bernard of Clairvaux, it can be a hidden level of pride called just that…”singularity”. Hopefully you have an emotional excuse that God knows of but we don’t. Otherwise you are involved in foolishness in line with Ecclesiastes 10: 13-14. This is my last post to you and I will pray that God intervenes whether roughly or sweetly to deliver you. Yet when He intervenes, you still must cooperate. Galatians lists “parties” and “divisions” as works of the “flesh”…internal constructive criticism as Paul gave to Peter is different. Get to a monastery that is within the Church…not a rad trad monastery.

    3. I would change the following to:

      Is the Conciliar Church Becoming……

      Analysis of the Visit of JPII to the Synagogue of Rome

      Is the Catholic Church Becoming a Branch of the Synagogue?

      Atila Sinke Guimarães

      http://www.traditioninaction.org/HotTopics/a028htJPII_VisitToSynagogue1986.htm

      ——————————–

      Your question about Congar’s low life action is typical of conciliarists making excuses for sleeziness. Is it unexplainable how Traditional Catholicism is not tolerated. However, “People of God” in the post council new religion will go to the mat to do damage control for those faithful to infidelities. Infidelities to the true faith is awarded. Interesting!! There are so many examples I do not know where to begin.

      However, view the following:
      Austrian “Cardinal” Schönborn:
      has time and again proven himself to be one of the most vicious and
      zealous destroyers of Catholicism in Europe – see below:

      Schonborn
      overruled pastor’s veto against active, open homosexual being on the
      parish council – pastor then resigned (source)

      see also Mr. Schonborn’s official press statement
      on the matter

      Schonborn
      sponsors, praises, and occasionally participates in the abominable
      “youth masses” named “Find-Fight-Follow”, which Novus
      Ordo Watch has reported on over the years – see here a video
      review of 8 years of these abominations (caution! includes nudity!)

      Schonborn
      hosted in his cathedral museum an “art” exhibit by the atheist
      communist Alfred Hrdlicka, which included a painting of the Last Supper
      displayed as a homosexual orgy (see video here
      – offensive content!)

      Schonborn’s
      cathedral rector gave “Catholic” burial to the afore-mentioned
      atheist communist Hrdlicka, burying him in a red casket (see video here
      – offensive content!)

      The Novus Ordo Church is the biggest Threat
      to Roman Catholicism in the World

  3. Jennifer, in your bio: “….She knows that the only thing that will save Western civilization from utter implosion is the Catholic Church….” God never promised to save Western civilization but He promised to be with His Church —- which does not equate to the post-conciliar new religion. The 1962-65 Council of Vatican II has been the greatest terror attack upon Catholicism in the history of the Church. The contradictions to Sacred Tradition are endless and the ‘changes’ have discouraged and ruined many souls. “Animus Delendi-I Desire to Destroy” by Atila
    Sinke Guimarâes and many other books and authors have detailed the modernist’s desecrations.
    I am continually amazed at the ‘tolerance’ for errors.
    How much more will conciliarists accept? What is it going to take for them to recognize they truly are not Catholic and are not practicing the True Faith?

    1. Gresu,
      I read the entire Bible and half of Vatican II. I think Vat.II was the cat’s meow. What if God sees you as a schismatic in heart? Not good. Schism is a worse mortal sin than sexual sins because it attacks a higher principle. Vatican II had incomplete concepts but theologian Yves Congar noted that such incomplete moments are native to Councils which are not inspired by the Holy Spirit but GUIDED by the Holy Spirit. For example Vatican II was silent on wifely obedience while Casti Connubii saw it as critical ( sect.74). The passages on Islam do not face the problem of radical Islam because it was not evident in 1964. Ancient Councils were similarly lopsided unless you think the Council of Florence’s words on salvation inside the Church are complete…they are not…they are incomplete like Vatican II on Islam. Flee the world of “Catholic” extremism. You’d be less punished in hell for fornication because the spiritual sins attack a higher value.

    2. Thank you for acknowledging that I am a Catholic. How extreme the bloodied corpus of Jesus Christ crucified looks to the concilirist of the new religion fabricated by men in 1962-1965 terrorist council. Vatican II was silent on communism because of the Pact of Mertz that John XXIII signed with red leaders while Catholics rotten, were tortured and murdered in the communist prisons.

      http://www.traditioninaction.org/HotTopics/a007ht.htm
      Communism is remains a major threat to the world.
      Please consider who “Father” Congar really is and whom you admire:

      Fr. Yves Congar, O.P.

      “At Vatican II, Yves Congar, the French Dominican theologian, was one of the visionaries brought in by Pope John XXIII. During the 1950s, he had been on the Vatican’s enemies list for his ‘false irenicism.’ (Translation: he was entirely too friendly with England’s Anglicans.) Then, after Pope John XXIII put him on the Preparatory Theological Commission, he did battle with [Cardinal] Alfredo Ottaviani and Ottaviani’s number two man, the Dutch Jesuit [Fr.] Sebastian Tromp, and when he wasn’t providing re-writes of the projects “De Ecclesia” and “Dei Verbum,” he was briefing groups of bishops about what was going on behind the scenes, and, incidentally, explaining the rationale of Pope John’s aggiornamento.”

      “…[O]ne night after dinner, Congar and some friends were walking past Ottaviani’s Palazzo di Sant’ Ufficio. He proceeded to excuse himself for a minute, walked over to the building, peed on the wall and returned to the group with a satisfied smile on his face. A good story, but one I was reluctant to report, until now.”

      http://www.novusordowatch.org/wire/congar-urinates-holyoffice.htm

      Read the rest of the story:
      http://www.willingshepherds.net/Problems%20witht%20the%20New%20Mass.html

      Your tolerance for the 1789 principles are over the top: http://www.novusordowatch.org/freemasons.pdfand dangerous!

  4. Jennifer,
    Excellent insight into the place of false humility in despair. Aquinas saw sloth in Judas too in that Judas did not struggle to see the beneficence of God besides seeing His requiring side slantedly. I have to read your piece again this week because it’s helping me with someone in my life. You did good. I’d urge you to avoid the “Judas may not be in hell” school i.e. Von Balthasar, Rahner, John Paul II and Benedict…but go rather to the ” sure he is or Christ’s words were bizarre on him” school of Augustine and Chrysostom. The former school says the Church has not declared on the matter but the Church does not declare on any matters unless they become relevant to the majority of Catholics as a widescale topic which Judas’ fate will never be. Most telling on the matter is Christ’s use of the past tense prophecy mode prior to Judas sinning or dying as Christ prayed to His Father: “Those whom thou gavest me I guarded and not one of them perished but the son of perdition…” Now Christ prayed those words prior to the actual full betrayal and of course prior to the despair. What is so special about past tense prophecy? According to St. Justin Martyr, past tense prophecy is unconditional and thus certain. When Johah yelled, ” Three days and Nineveh will be destroyed”, he was using the future tense and it proved conditional because Nineveh had control in that they repented and the prophecy was voided. Isaiah however used the certain form about Christ…the past tense prophecies…”he was PIERCED for our sins”…” there is no beauty in him nor comliness and we HAVE SEEN him and there is no sightliness that we might desire him” ( he won’t look like Clark Gable… had he done so, he would have attracted many for a trivial reason).
    Past tense prophecy is certain and Christ used it in regard to Judas.

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